Well, I suppose what really did it in for me was back in Junior High.
Playing football was mandatory. You had no choice. It was the rule at the local school. They didn't give you any way out of it. All guys had to play football like it or not.
Well, I was willing to tolerate it, and gave it a shot.
All was fine until the coach put me behind the guy with the ball. We were supposed to count off, and then I'd signal him that I was ready for the ball.
Unfortunately, the mandatory signal was that I was supposed to pat his crotch between his legs.
Well, I refused, and told the guy I'd just tell him to give me the ball. Sorry, but guys in tights jumping on-top of each-other and patting each-other's balls (and I don't mean the one being thrown), just isn't for me.
So, I transferred.
I was not about to pat some guys balls every day. Sorry, that's it. I have to draw the line somewhere.
And the coaches are listening to the new iPod invisa! Oh wait, I dropped it. Where is it?
Oh, here it is. It's floating.
Did you miss the last ad?
It was fast. Almost subliminal. Number 42 tripped over an iPod Video on the 30 yard line.
Then, on the next huddle, everyone pulled-out their iPod's and synchronized their songs. They're using the beat to keep their timing synchronized.
Then, when the last guy got tackled, I saw the ear-buds come flying out of his helmet.
Man, I hope the iPod's screen didn't get cracked in that one.
Oh, the football player, I'm sure he'll be fine. A few weeks in traction at the hospital. No big deal. But, man I hope he didn't crack his Nano.
