Lordy. I find it hard to understand why the ladies in this thread find it so repellent that someone aged 21 doesn't want the responsibility of a child. Seriously, if you were that age and the situation was reversed, would you get involved with a man with a child? I think the honest answer would be "probably not".
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The only attention I/we get from girls is ones that have kids.
- Thread starter benlangdon
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LOL. The first thing I thought of was something I can't mention..Well lets see..
A chick that's 20 something with a kid. No big deal.. Keep in mind because they do have a kid means you might learn something in bed.
How's that ?
yes I know. I'm a male chauvinistic pig.
A chick that's 20 something with a kid. No big deal.. Keep in mind because they do have a kid means you might learn something in bed.
How's that ?
yes I know. I'm a male chauvinistic pig.
try reading my post again.
Actually, you posted no. 25 while I was writing my post. Short of clairvoyance, I don't really see how I could have known the content. Also, I wasn't aware you were speaking for every lady in the thread: apologies.
Actually, you posted no. 25 while I was writing my post. Short of clairvoyance, I don't really see how I could have known the content. Also, I wasn't aware you were speaking for every lady in the thread: apologies.
Well your rather short post showed up a few minutes after mine did so I assumed, perhaps incorrectly, that you were speaking at least in part to me. Apologies all over the place here too.
Brilliant!
I was going to suggest the opposite; dating someone with a child may bring about some maturity and halt his shallow classification of women "worthy" of dating.
OP, why don't you try to see if you have some compatibility with a person before rejecting them? Children are not the burden people think they are, and I think you'll find that if you really love her, you will love her child(ren).
hilarious. it pretty much tells my story
only reason why i said im an engineering major is because all i do is study and have no time to meet girls outside of school, well i guess a lot of majors study narely amounts but at least in some of there classes there are more than 2 girls in there classes.
Me too.
I say take it as a compliment and move on. Most people don't want to be 21 and dating someone with a kid, so I think most people here can understand. However, if someone likes you, you can't help that. Doesn't mean you're obliged to like them.
I find it a bit strange that you and 5 friends are all in the same situation.
dude thats why i posted it on here. its freaking weird.
that wildlife thing was funny though.
i no way said she is tainted, no way did i say she is a slut and i don't think that at all, i mean my last girlfriend was a slut
.i mean, i can barely take care of my self let alone a kid.
Brilliant!
I was going to suggest the opposite; dating someone with a child may bring about some maturity and halt his shallow classification of women "worthy" of dating.
OP, why don't you try to see if you have some compatibility with a person before rejecting them? Children are not the burden people think they are, and I think you'll find that if you really love her, you will love her child(ren).
Two of my friends have married women who were single mothers. It's not so weird. But I do understand not wanting the responsibility. I'm 41 and I never want kids. That's what nieces and nephews are for. I get all the fun without the work.
I was going to suggest the opposite; dating someone with a child may bring about some maturity and halt his shallow classification of women "worthy" of dating.
OP, why don't you try to see if you have some compatibility with a person before rejecting them? Children are not the burden people think they are, and I think you'll find that if you really love her, you will love her child(ren).
Again, he never said they aren't worth of dating, just that he isn't interested in getting involved with a woman who has a child, which I can fully understand. We all set our own criteria for who we would and would not like to date, this may be his thing. I will never(ever) date a girl who smokes, I can't stand the taste, frigging nasty, doesn't mean I think less of them, just that I am not interested them because of that.
This puts the post I was commenting on in more of a perspective. I completely understand being wary of taking on someone else's kids; if affects the lives of all involved in a big way, and because of that it's wise to be sure that it's what you want before you leap into it, for everyones' sake.
Completely off-topic - - I really like your username.
Try partner dancing, such as ballroom dancing, swing, salsa. Most schools have a dance club.
If there is a club, there would be lessons.
Might be too late to catch up to the lessons for current school year but doesn't hurt to start learning sooner.
If there is a club, there would be lessons.
Might be too late to catch up to the lessons for current school year but doesn't hurt to start learning sooner.
Ummm, I think people are being WAY harsh here. I read the OP's post and I didn't see him talking about "damaged goods." Okay, maybe the whole "normal" thing could be read that way, but I really don't think that is his intent. What I get from his post is that he doesn't want to date someone with a child. Which is PERFECTLY reasonable. I'm 27 and I wouldn't date a girl with a kid. Not because I think they are damaged goods, but because I'm looking to keep things light and fun, and do some casual dating, and frankly, I'm not sure I want kids at all.
I would NEVER suggest someone who is 21 get involved with someone with a child. A little later on in life, sure, if that's what you want, but at 21... no way, you aren't mature enough to deal with all that, nor should you.
Benlangdon - All I can say, is make some time away from the studies for some outside clubs and orgs. And try online dating. It works for a lot of people, and is especially good for people who aren't so into the bar scene.
Two of my friends have married women who were single mothers. It's not so weird. But I do understand not wanting the responsibility. I'm 41 and I never want kids. That's what nieces and nephews are for. I get all the fun without the work.
Well sure, Lee, that's something we can all decide for ourselves.
The real question is, would you give a man the cold shoulder because he has a kid? That's the part I don't like. The OP doesn't even want to give these women a chance, even though he probably has minimal experience with dating+kids.
So could I, if he had given it a chance.
He's sort of "auto-rejected" dating these women because of perceived difficulties. All I'm saying is, give it a chance. Sometimes life surprises us.
I might have been a bit harsh and maybe slightly presumptuous but I think my points still stand. I've seen a certain tone in several threads here lately and it got right on my tits. I wanted to put a different turn on it. The OP seemed to catch my drift anyway.
He's sort of "auto-rejected" dating these women because of perceived difficulties. All I'm saying is, give it a chance. Sometimes life surprises us.
Fact is that we "auto-reject", as you put it, people all the time. In almost ever facet of our lives we will and do make decisions based on trivia or not so trivial things. We form opinions and relationships based on these and it is generally considered fine, yet he is getting a bit of a harsh treatment for it and there is mention of primitive male behaviours? I'm sorry but it's just a bit of a double standard being applied here.
And that just gets to me.
I was just talking, last night, with my girlfriend about how I disagree with the concept that primitive=bad. We have millions of years of evolution that have honed our primitive instincts, that has led to our surviving here and now. It seems a little naive to assume that something is wrong because it is primitive. Perhaps many of our high minded concepts are illusory, or will ultmately be found to be wrong? Or more likely, we need to carefully balance our constructions of civilisation along with our strength and heritage of instinct, not aiming to supplant one with the other.
I'm not sure if the OP intimated a fear of them being sluts. If anything, he sounds desperately in hope of a girl with not too many barriers
But the reality is that someone who has a child, has many more barriers than someone without. I really like kids, so I'll touch on a different angle. In many cases, there are lingering feelings for, and complications from, the father. It's like dating a girl who was dumped by her ex, and they're trying to still be friends. How many single mothers have I met, who have more than one child from the same guy, but they were already broken up before the subsequent children.Of course there are many different types of single mothers, so it would be ridiculous to paint them with the same brush. I'm just saying that, while I've dated several, I can understand while other men don't go there.
Quite the opposite usually happens. More women notices me when I'm toting around my daughter. Maybe it's my 6 month old baby that attract them; it's definitely not me.
The Op's reaction is typical of a rationalist, a pragmatic thinker, or an engineer.
An optimist, a pessimist and an engineer walked by a table with a cup of water on it.
The optimist said, "The cup is half full."
The pessimist said, "The cup is half empty."
The engineer said, "The cup is twice as big as necessary."
Sorry sounds like your game is weak, starting a thread about it is even weaker. Your excuse of "there are no girls, my type, around my campus" is pathetic. 100% weaksauce. You say you're desperate but don't actually put any effort into doing anything about it. Instead you spend time b*tching about how you can't find a gf on an online forum. Has it ever occurred to you that there are girls outside of the campus?
Man up. If you're desperate go hunt them down wherever they may be... Clubs, bars, lounges, coffee shops... although the first 3 aren't exactly places that great for finding life-long soulmates.
Damn! Even just make friends with the girls with kids! Who knows... they might have friends that are your type, and they can maybe hook u up!
Whining here ain't gonna get u a gf. Actually go out and do something about it.
And I agree with the rest... What's wrong with the ones with kids? Pre-judging them because they got kids is low. That type of attitude ain't gonna get you no where.
And in your case... "Beggers can't be choosers". So be greatful for what opportunities you get.
To be honest? He'd have to be one hell of a great guy. I don't want kids, Calboy. It would most likely be a mistake for me to date someone with kids, wouldn't you say? If the guy doesn't want to date somebody with kids already, what's wrong with that?
Absolutely nothing. We all filter through potential suitors based on certain standards. Some guys only prefer blondes. Some girls don't like short men. It's all a matter of preference.
I know that I wouldn't even give a guy with a kid a look at my age. It's my preference. People get caught up with being PC all the time.
What if he was a great guy? I know I would take a second look at that woman if she was great fun and we got along, I know I have different opinions (mine being I couldn't care less if she had a kid before she was married) but I would like to know what your opinion would be on that.
P.S I am all round type of guy (to a certain extent)