The only attention I/we get from girls is ones that have kids.

[leekohler]

What if he was a great guy? I know I would take a second look at that woman if she was great fun and we got along, I know I have different opinions (mine being I couldn't care less if she had a kid before she was married) but I would like to know what your opinion would be on that.

P.S I am all round type of guy (to a certain extent)

I'd walk away, TBH. I do not want kids.

 

[timerollson]

What if he was a great guy? I know I would take a second look at that woman if she was great fun and we got along, I know I have different opinions (mine being I couldn't care less if she had a kid before she was married) but I would like to know what your opinion would be on that.

P.S I am all round type of guy (to a certain extent)

I really wouldn't care if he was a great guy. The cons that I perceive outweigh the positives. I know I wouldn't be in a relationship with only him but with his kid. You can't beat around the bush and say that's not always the case. That kid is a significant part of his life. You can't turn off being a father when you're with someone. It's not like listening to music where you can press the pause button. I sure don't want to be a step-mom at 22.

I'd rather not deal with it.

 

[P-Worm]

I really like kids, so I'll touch on a different angle.

If you just take this part of the quote it sounds quite dirty.

Sorry, I know that wasn't on topic. It just made me laugh.

P-Worm

 

[waiwai]

If you just take this part of the quote it sounds quite dirty.

Sorry, I know that wasn't on topic. It just made me laugh.

P-Worm

that is disturbing.

 

[0098386]

What if he was a great guy? I know I would take a second look at that woman if she was great fun and we got along, I know I have different opinions (mine being I couldn't care less if she had a kid before she was married) but I would like to know what your opinion would be on that.

P.S I am all round type of guy (to a certain extent)

Then that person doesn't tick the requirements you are after so it's time to look elsewhere.

Personally if someone had a kid I wouldn't go out with them. I've got too much going on with my career right now and if I wanted children I'd like my own (is that selfish?). To see them take their first steps and all that.

 

[CalBoy]

Fact is that we "auto-reject", as you put it, people all the time. In almost ever facet of our lives we will and do make decisions based on trivia or not so trivial things. We form opinions and relationships based on these and it is generally considered fine, yet he is getting a bit of a harsh treatment for it and there is mention of primitive male behaviours? I'm sorry but it's just a bit of a double standard being applied here.

And that just gets to me.

I think what really rubbed me the wrong way can be summed up by what iBlue wrote a few posts up.

The value judgement of "normal" caught my attention and made me think that the OP hasn't even fully considered this and what he really wants is a relationship that fits a certain mold he has already created for himself without any prior knowledge or experience.

Quite the opposite usually happens. More women notices me when I'm toting around my daughter. Maybe it's my 6 month old baby that attract them; it's definitely not me.

Of course Lee is a guy, so it doesn't work out quite the same.

To be honest? He'd have to be one hell of a great guy. I don't want kids, Calboy. It would most likely be a mistake for me to date someone with kids, wouldn't you say? If the guy doesn't want to date somebody with kids already, what's wrong with that?

There's nothing wrong with it, but I think you forget that you came to this decision after giving it some thought and spending time with kids.

The OP hasn't given any indication that he's ever even tried dating a woman with a child, and I think it's unfair to judge something before you try it.

 

[michael.lauden]

The only attention I/we get from girls is ones that have kids.

are*

is - singular

are - plural

 

[barkmonster]

This puts the post I was commenting on in more of a perspective. I completely understand being wary of taking on someone else's kids; if affects the lives of all involved in a big way, and because of that it's wise to be sure that it's what you want before you leap into it, for everyones' sake.

Completely off-topic - - I really like your username.

It comes from something I used to call my dog when he'd constantly dive on me when I got home from work years ago. He died in my mid 20s but 15 was pretty good going for any breed of dog.

 

[kabunaru]

interesting definition of 'normal'...

There is no such thing as "normal". Everybody is unique in their own way.

 

[0098386]

There is no such thing as "normal". Everybody is unique in their own way.

Except there is such a thing as normal, since people like to do things together, have similar tastes etc. Normal is just what the bulk of people do or like.

 

[kabunaru]

since people like to do things together, have similar tastes etc.

People are very socialising creatures.

 

[0098386]

People are very socialising creatures.

Exactly. If you fit in with the societies that you are either born into or choose yourself then you're "normal".

 

[Anonymouslives]

You'll probably have to face the fact, sooner or later, that you're ugly. Sure, you may have a bright future and all, but that doesn't negate genetics.

 

[Abstract]

Ummm, I think people are being WAY harsh here. I read the OP's post and I didn't see him talking about "damaged goods." Okay, maybe the whole "normal" thing could be read that way, but I really don't think that is his intent.

I agree. I think he's just bad with words. He's an engineer.

 

[benlangdon]

An optimist, a pessimist and an engineer walked by a table with a cup of water on it.
The optimist said, "The cup is half full."
The pessimist said, "The cup is half empty."
The engineer said, "The cup is twice as big as necessary."

hahahaaah nice.

Sorry sounds like your game is weak, starting a thread about it is even weaker. Your excuse of "there are no girls, my type, around my campus" is pathetic. 100% weaksauce. You say you're desperate but don't actually put any effort into doing anything about it. Instead you spend time b*tching about how you can't find a gf on an online forum. Has it ever occurred to you that there are girls outside of the campus?
Man up. If you're desperate go hunt them down wherever they may be... Clubs, bars, lounges, coffee shops... although the first 3 aren't exactly places that great for finding life-long soulmates.
Damn! Even just make friends with the girls with kids! Who knows... they might have friends that are your type, and they can maybe hook u up!
Whining here ain't gonna get u a gf. Actually go out and do something about it.
And I agree with the rest... What's wrong with the ones with kids? Pre-judging them because they got kids is low. That type of attitude ain't gonna get you no where.
And in your case... "Beggers can't be choosers". So be greatful for what opportunities you get.

whining about me whining is funny.

If you just take this part of the quote it sounds quite dirty.
P-Worm

hahaha

The only attention I/we get from girls is ones that have kids.
are*
is - singular
are - plural

I agree. I think he's just bad with words. He's an engineer.

dude i rewrote that title and opening like 3 times. ya, defiantly should not be an English major.

Exactly. If you fit in with the societies that you are either born into or choose yourself then you're "normal".

wow you guys really are taking this normal thing harshly. let me say this.
it took me like ten minutes to get that written and i was doing physics all day and was brain deaddddddddd

You'll probably have to face the fact, sooner or later, that you're ugly. Sure, you may have a bright future and all, but that doesn't negate genetics.

hahahahaha that stung a little

 

[c-Row]

@OP

Hey, at least you get some attention.

 

[benlangdon]

…no one?

I am deeply, deeply disappointed in all of you.

The irony could have been cutting edge.

actually i was reading that post and read it like 4 times and was so lost.

 

[Abstract]

If you just take this part of the quote it sounds quite dirty.

Sorry, I know that wasn't on topic. It just made me laugh.

P-Worm

Is it time for a new sig?

Nah! I've had dirty innuendo sports quotes over the past 5 years. Can't stop now!

 

[No1451]

@OP

Hey, at least you get some attention.

This post makes a good point. I get absolutely no attention from women at all. A lot of females do the exact thing that iBlue was talking about a few posts back, not because I have a kid but because I'm not attractive. Cept that nobody calls them out on it. Double standards are awesome.

 

[northy124]

@OP

Hey, at least you get some attention.

True some (see above ) don't get attention at all..

 

[iBlue]

This post makes a good point. I get absolutely no attention from women at all. A lot of females do the exact thing that iBlue was talking about a few posts back, not because I have a kid but because I'm not attractive. Cept that nobody calls them out on it. Double standards are awesome.

Hey man, I can't fight all the battles.

 

[Lau]

This post makes a good point. I get absolutely no attention from women at all. A lot of females do the exact thing that iBlue was talking about a few posts back, not because I have a kid but because I'm not attractive. Cept that nobody calls them out on it. Double standards are awesome.

How do you know it's because you're not attractive?

 

[No1451]

Because I've had it said, to my face. Truth can be a little harsh sometimes.

@iBlue - You can't? And here I was hoping you were super woman though I'm not sure the costume would suit you.

 

[iBlue]

Because I've had it said, to my face. Truth can be a little harsh sometimes.

@iBlue - You can't? And here I was hoping you were super woman though I'm not sure the costume would suit you.

It can, but bear in mind that sometimes people can just be jerks. I've been called all sorts of crap that didn't really apply. Don't be so hard on yourself. I think a large part of appeal is confidence. Women especially can sense that vibe. I know, easier said than done, but don't feed self negativity.

And you're probably right, I couldn't do the traditional superhero thing, especially if it meant wearing a cape, that's just obvious!


edit: and I totally agree with what Lau said below.

 

[Lau]

It can, but bear in mind that sometimes people can just be jerks. I've been called all sorts of crap that didn't really apply. Don't be so hard on yourself. I think a large part of appeal is confidence. Women especially can sense that vibe. I know, easier said than done, but don't feed self negativity.

I'd totally agree with this. All it takes is someone to tap into your insecurity and say that once and it really knocks your confidence, and then, because you're half believing it you get knocked back again and again, and think it's because of that again when it's actually something else entirely or directly because of your attitude.

A huge amount of appeal is confidence. Not arrogance or being a 'player', as that's a real turnoff, but being quietly confident in your own skin. Even if someone said it was to do with your looks and even thought that themselves, it's more likely to be because you didn't make them think you were attractive, if that makes any sense.

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