I'm in the exact boat as you... I hated the 6/7/8 size at first (loved the 5/SE size), but after being forced to use an iPhone6 for 5 months now, the extra screen real estate makes me not want to go back to the SE size. While the Xs is not much physically bigger than the the 6/7/8, I heard its screen size/dimensions makes it a lot more ergonomically difficult to use one handed than the 6/7/8, at least for people with smaller hands like myself. Therefore, the Xr might be worse in that respect since it's physically larger than the Xs.
If I go to the store next week, play with the Xr and Xs, and determine the Xr size/ergonomics is good for me, or if it's at least not any worse than the Xs, then Xr it is. But if the Xs size is better suited for me than the Xr, then I have a second decision to make: is the extra $250 worth it? For me, size/ergonomics is more important than OLED vs LED and DPI.