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That's great! I always assumed Prufrock was just some Welsh word. I actually frequent a poetry club so I probably should've known about the poem, but I hadn't heard of it until now. Will definitely look it up though, thanks :)

It seems like you know your coffee very well :) - Harios are great. Cheers to great coffee

Amen to that.

There is an excellent coffee thread on the forum; my own personal preferences include coffees from Kenya, Ethiopia, and, across the straits, Yemeni coffee.

Coffees from Burundi, & Rwanda are also worth exploring, if you like African coffees, but, personally, I tend to prefer the coffee from East Africa.
 
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The women I date value themselves more for their looks than anything else. If I told my girlfriend she has great character she’d think I’m kidding. But maybe that’s just how it is when you’re young. She loves being complimented about her looks though. She knows I love girls who are blond and thin, and keeps in great shape. I make sure to appreciate and compliment her body especially at night because I know she works hard to look good for me. Now, here’s a little story of about compliments. She knows I love blond women and decided to get blond hair extensions because she thought she’d look prettier in my eyes. Well, she got them and tried to surprise me but when I saw them I didn’t really like them. I genuinely tried my best to tell her how hot she looks, but apparently I did a bad job because she never wore them again. I feel bad she knows I didn’t like her blond hair extensions but happy she doesn’t wear them anymore lol

I don't mean this in an offensive way, but to me it sounds like boring relationships if I'm honest. It's just about valuing different things, but while appearance and attraction has of course mattered for me and I've found my ex extremely good looking, I'd say that to a great extend I thought she looked great because I loved who she was in spirit and mind, and that influenced how I looked at her way more than the other way around. Now she's beautiful regardless, but to me, spending time on "looking good for each other" and thinking about appearances more than enough to be presentable in general and hygienic just seems dull, and I'd feel way more attracted to someone if they said something interesting or fun than if they just look good. Going to show myself to be a real weird geek now, but what made me fall for my ex, was when she asked me "Did you know that if you freeze a cow fart to the point the gas becomes a bit opaque, it's bright blue?" That kind of weird but lovely energy and excitement over small things is more attractive than a 'perfect body' as if such a thing objectively existed.
 
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I don't mean this in an offensive way, but to me it sounds like boring relationships if I'm honest. It's just about valuing different things, but while appearance and attraction has of course mattered for me and I've found my ex extremely good looking, I'd say that to a great extend I thought she looked great because I loved who she was in spirit and mind, and that influenced how I looked at her way more than the other way around. Now she's beautiful regardless, but to me, spending time on "looking good for each other" and thinking about appearances more than enough to be presentable in general and hygienic just seems dull, and I'd feel way more attracted to someone if they said something interesting or fun than if they just look good. Going to show myself to be a real weird geek now, but what made me fall for my ex, was when she asked me "Did you know that if you freeze a cow fart to the point the gas becomes a bit opaque, it's bright blue?" That kind of weird but lovely energy and excitement over small things is more attractive than a 'perfect body' as if such a thing objectively existed.

Oh believe me, it’s a lot of fun hehe 😉
 
Oh, I have a slightly more on topic comment for this thread (though the handsome thing is not wrong ...)

I __love__ it when someone compliments me (us) on our child. The teachers last year were always writing extra little notes, comments in the grading system, and as a professional BS-er, I could tell they were very heartfelt. I mean, "Picks up new math concepts extremely fast" gives me some nerd pride, but "She's a rare beautiful spirit in middle school, always a joy to see every day" fills me with happiness.

💛
 
Amen to that.

There is an excellent coffee thread on the forum; my own personal preferences include coffees from Kenya, Ethiopia, and, across the straits, Yemeni coffee.

Coffees from Burundi, & Rwanda are also worth exploring, if you like African coffees, but, personally, I tend to prefer the coffee from East Africa.

Haven't seen that thread but might have a look.

I've had a few bags of Burundi in my last delivery. Rwanda as well in the past. Guatemala as well; Nice volcanic soil. But yeah my preferred is the floral flavour and tea-like texture of Ethiopian coffees, though my brother prefers Kenyan "Ribena" flavour. Both great :)
Across the pond, there have been some experimental coffee plantations that've taken some, I think SL28 green beans from Kenya and grown them in Columbia and Costa Rica. I would say it's not quite as good, but interesting results, retaining some of the chocolate-y flavour traditional to the region, but with a softer tone.

Geisha and pea-berry coffees can be super fun though pricy :p
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Oh, I have a slightly more on topic comment for this thread (though the handsome thing is not wrong ...)

I __love__ it when someone compliments me (us) on our child. The teachers last year were always writing extra little notes, comments in the grading system, and as a professional BS-er, I could tell they were very heartfelt. I mean, "Picks up new math concepts extremely fast" gives me some nerd pride, but "She's a rare beautiful spirit in middle school, always a joy to see every day" fills me with happiness.

💛

Aw. That's great! I used to get those kinds of notes when I was a child, and I could tell my parents were happy and it also made me feel great about it and want to get equally nice notes from teachers in the future, so it's a good cycle to be in. You sound like great parents and I'm happy for you and your daughter for things going well :)
 
brillant question. by answering it, you get to compliment yourself. we need more of these.
 
I don't care much for receiving compliments. I do however, try to give as many compliments, honest ones, as I can.

But if I had to pick one for myself, it would be a 'thank you' for fixing something for someone.
 
I don't care much for receiving compliments. I do however, try to give as many compliments, honest ones, as I can.

But if I had to pick one for myself, it would be a 'thank you' for fixing something for someone.
I hate receiving them because what is the correct etiquette? Say thank you, compliment them back, say nothing? I guess I'm out of practise!

Yes giving compliments is a much better idea.

You have a really long username!
 
This is a catch 22. You are obviously must be very secure in order to appreciate a compliment but on the flip side why do you need a validation especially from strangers who are most likely just trying to sell you something/use you? I guess even fake compliments can help create a certain atmosphere and momentum that can be beneficial in achieving certain goals.
 
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I actually don't like to receive compliments. Since childhood i constantly think that i'm not deserving it. And i don't really know how to act properly, when someone says something good about you.
I struggled with that too, still do sometimes in fact. What I started doing was just saying "Thanks for the compliment", it's actually helped my own mental health and confidence a bit and shows gratitude toward the compliment giver.
 
Have to be sincere, and not just a way to butter you up. There used to be two ladies at work who truly noticed a change I made and complimented on it. But they are gone and there is no one else close left :( Problem today is a sincere compliment someone could sue you for sexual harrassment
 
...... Problem today is a sincere compliment someone could sue you for sexual harrassment

Not if you complimented something that they did - and have agency over, ("that was a terrific presentation you gave", "that was an excellent point you made at that meeting", "you really explained that well" ) for you are complimenting ability, professional performance, something that showcases their skills, - rather than their appearance.
 
this is a great topic, in my appearance people says that i have beautiful eyes that they have a weird mixed green and brown color and people get surprise by it , not very used to receive compliments about my aspect anyways
But i love to receive accomplishments more about my personality about my kindness and joyful personality
 
Not if you complimented something that they did - and have agency over, ("that was a terrific presentation you gave", "that was an excellent point you made at that meeting", "you really explained that well" ) for you are complimenting ability, professional performance, something that showcases their skills, - rather than their appearance.
True but I don't think one reasonable compliment about appearance should be grounds for a suit either. Onviously if you say it in a suggestive way or just keep complimenting the person, which I would see as just normal harassment beyond sexual.
 
True but I don't think one reasonable compliment about appearance should be grounds for a suit either. Onviously if you say it in a suggestive way or just keep complimenting the person, which I would see as just normal harassment beyond sexual.

Why the need to compliment someone (and, here, we know that "someone" in this context equals a woman) on their appearance at work or in a professional setting at all?

Personally, I do not regard it as "reasonable" in a professional context.

It suggests that you judge women primarily on appearance (rather than on professional performance), on something they are, rather than something they do (and thus have agency over, or responsibility for).

Compliment someone (a woman) on her appearance in a nightclub, - for there, the setting is social, and that 'social contract' is implicit (or, even explicit) in the context and setting, and people (women, and indeed, men) may dress for notice, and thus, compliments on appearance may be sought and welcomed.

However, at work, keep comments, and compliments, on a woman's appearance to a minimum; it suggests a lack of professional respect for a female colleague.

If venturing a compliment on appearance, I would recommend that you confine it to a positive remark on something such as a nice jacket, which makes it compliment on her excellent taste, and on sartorial choices that she has made, again, respecting and remarking on her agency, where she has done something.
 
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Why the need to compliment someone (and, here, we know that "someone" in this context equals a woman) on their appearance at work or in a professional setting at all?

Personally, I do not regard it as "reasonable" in a professional context.

It suggests that you judge women primarily on appearance (rather than on professional performance), on something they are, rather than something they do (and thus have agency over, or responsibility for).

Compliment someone (a woman) on her appearance in a nightclub, - for there, the setting is social, and that 'social contract' is implicit (or, even explicit) in the context and setting, and people (women, an indeed, men) may dress for notice, and thus, compliments on appearance may be sought and welcomed.

However, at work, keep comments, and compliments, on a woman's appearance to a minimum; it suggests a lack of professional respect for a female colleague.

If venturing a compliment on appearance, I would recommend that you confine it to a positive remark on something such as a nice jacket, which makes it compliment on her excellent taste, and on sartorial choices that she has made, again, respecting and remarking on her agency, where she has done something.
When I worked years ago, it was common for people to complement each other when they first saw them at work for the day, and no one was offended. If anything the atmosphere was more pleasant. Not like today when people are scared to say anything to each other.
 
When I worked years ago, it was common for people to complement each other when they first saw them at work for the day, and no one was offended. If anything the atmosphere was more pleasant. Not like today when people are scared to say anything to each other.

Okay: Let us take a closer look at this - the work world of "years ago", - in that case, if you don't mind.

Are "people" in this context women, or, did you offer similar, compliments to your male colleagues as well?

Were the women on the receiving end of these compliments your co-workers of a similar grade, your subordinates, or your superiors?

Did the women (subordinates, co-workers, or superiors) ever (feel free to) compliment you, on your appearance, or sartorial elegance?
 
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Okay: Let us take a closer look at this - the work world of "years ago", - in that case, if you don't mind.

Are "people" in this context women, or, did you offer similar, compliments to your male colleagues as well?

Were the women on the receiving end of these compliments your co-workers of a similar grade, your subordinates, or your superiors?

Did the women (subordinates, co-workers, or superiors) ever (feel free to) compliment you, on your appearance, or sartorial elegance?
I really don't talk much so it's more of a general observation. It could be anyone complimenting anyone. I am always glad to get a compliment except for If is obviously harrassing. I've really only noticed once with a guy and a girl where I used to work, where it was obvious she wanted nothing to do with him; although, she never said anything to him or HR.
 
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