What compliment do you like to hear the most?

[Clix Pix]

Another twist on this -- usually you don't know when someone may hear a compliment "the wrong way". An example of this is when someone has an eating disorder such as Anorexia Nervosa and someone compliments them by saying, "ooh, how do you stay so thin?" The disorder twists things around in the individual's mind and somehow it is heard as encouragement to keep going with that, lose just a little more weight to ensure that he or she will remain thin....when perhaps the person is already at an extremely low, possibly even dangerous weight.

 

[Sword86]

My favourite is, “You’re an jerk, I’m leaving.”
Ahhh......peace and quiet, finally!” S

 

[rumorguy]

wow you have a big ego, bet the ladies love that.

 

[honestone33]

First of all, I am ALWAYS complimenting my wife for being such a wonderful cook. She definitely deserves it!

As for me, I am just happy that I know my wife appreciates all the things I do around our place: clean it once a week, clean the bathrooms every 2 to 3 weeks, do laundry, do the dishes, both wash and take care of our automobiles, etc.

 

[ThisBougieLife]

I like "wise beyond your years". I'm a sucker for intellectual compliments.

 

[0388631]

I like "wise beyond your years". I'm a sucker for intellectual compliments.

Pretty sure I've said that to you before.

 

[Apple fanboy]

Pretty sure I've said that to you before.

Pretty sure no ones ever said that to me. Maybe the opposite!

 

[honestone33]

Another good one would be "You age well, like fine wine". That fits our situation perfect, as my wife makes excellent wine from the blackberries I pick.

 

[Apple fanboy]

I’ve often been told I have a good face for radio. Is that a compliment?

 

[I7guy]

When people find out how old I am, they frequently tell me I look 20 years younger.

 

[1042686]

As a woman, professionally, I far prefer to be complimented on my achievements, and accomplishments, rather than on my appearance, for, as @casperes1996 has already observed, society tends to be way too judgmental about the appearance of women, and dismissive of professional accomplishments when focusing on appearance.

In fact, to comment on, or compliment, a woman's appearance in a professional setting, is a negative mark, a black mark, to my mind, for it tells me that this individual will never see a female colleague as a professional equal, but, instead, will continue to judge them primarily on appearance and physical characteristics.

And compliments from close family and close friends about character - that is, people who know you well, but still love you and have your back, - will always be gratefully received and welcomed.

And sometimes a woman just needs to be able to take a compliment. The art of taking a compliment is a skill set many simply do not have, do not care to have. Not everything is a competition. Not everything is an affront to one’s accomplishments ie: their ego. Additionally your male-female work relationship is a key contextual piece to where a compliment is coming from.

The social dynamic of compliment giving is complex & two sided, taking an adept skill set to navigate. This doesn’t mean it’s bad or should not occur but certainly takes thought by the giver as you really just have zero clue how self confident & secure (Or not) the recipient is or where they might take your compliment.

One thing is true. Our sense of self & how our accomplishments define our ego are undeniably fragile constructs, even more so the higher up one climbs the ivory towers of intellectualism & professionalism, so if for no other reason than that of pragmatism & self preservation, it may be best to simply forget about & allow the art of the compliment to die; a patriarchical vestige of a bygone Victorian era.


or not.

 

[1042686]

I like it when folks compliment my blaster.

 

[honestone33]

When people find out how old I am, they frequently tell me I look 20 years younger.

Same with me, although it's more like 15 years younger. I think I have aged well like fine wine, especially since I only drink the wine my wife makes. Yummy!

 

[honestone33]

And sometimes a woman just needs to be able to take a compliment. The art of taking a compliment is a skill set many simply do not have, do not care to have. Not everything is a competition. Not everything is an affront to one’s accomplishments ie: their ego. Additionally your male-female work relationship is a key contextual piece to where a compliment is coming from.

The social dynamic of compliment giving is complex & two sided, taking an adept skill set to navigate. This doesn’t mean it’s bad or should not occur but certainly takes thought by the giver as you really just have zero clue how self confident & secure (Or not) the recipient is or where they might take your compliment.

One thing is true. Our sense of self & how our accomplishments define our ego are undeniably fragile constructs, even more so the higher up one climbs the ivory towers of intellectualism & professionalism, so if for no other reason than that of pragmatism & self preservation, it may be best to simply forget about & allow the art of the compliment to die; a patriarchical vestige of a bygone Victorian era.


or not.

Also, when one goes something in a "gentleman" fashion, the women needs to react appropriately. There have been a few times where I have held a door open for a woman, but she says nothing. Really irks me! What happened to common courtesy?

 

[Scepticalscribe]

And sometimes a woman just needs to be able to take a compliment. The art of taking a compliment is a skill set many simply do not have, do not care to have. Not everything is a competition.

Also, when one goes something in a "gentleman" fashion, the women needs to react appropriately. There have been a few times where I have held a door open for a woman, but she says nothing. Really irks me! What happened to common courtesy?

Needs to?

Gentlemen: (I was about to write "guys", but, in this context, "gentlemen" sounds better).

A word to the wise: This Daughter of Eve will bristle if any man, anywhere, thinks to use the verb "needs to" to a woman while discussing (lecturing her on) or simply explaining his interpretation of matters of etiquette or manners, especially as they apply to preferred reactions from women in response to a specific action from a man.

 

[1042686]

So we,ve evolved this seemingly inoculous thread to the premise of percieved intention then eh? The perverse HR byproduct of feminist ideology no less. The HR wasteland where common pleasantry is perverted and twisted by the mind of an insecure, bruised intellect to mean something entirely different? Smacks of cancel culture; the blunt object of choice of the fundamentally frail.

Whew boy am I glad I don’t work with people with that hangup. Talk about walking on eggshells

 

[Clix Pix]

Also, when one goes something in a "gentleman" fashion, the women needs to react appropriately. There have been a few times where I have held a door open for a woman, but she says nothing. Really irks me! What happened to common courtesy?

When someone holds a door open for me, regardless of their gender or their age, I always say "thank you," as it is a nice thing for someone to do -- and while I don't expect it, I appreciate it when someone thanks me for holding a door open for them, too.

 

[Hieveryone]

And sometimes a woman just needs to be able to take a compliment. The art of taking a compliment is a skill set many simply do not have, do not care to have. Not everything is a competition. Not everything is an affront to one’s accomplishments ie: their ego. Additionally your male-female work relationship is a key contextual piece to where a compliment is coming from.

The social dynamic of compliment giving is complex & two sided, taking an adept skill set to navigate. This doesn’t mean it’s bad or should not occur but certainly takes thought by the giver as you really just have zero clue how self confident & secure (Or not) the recipient is or where they might take your compliment.

One thing is true. Our sense of self & how our accomplishments define our ego are undeniably fragile constructs, even more so the higher up one climbs the ivory towers of intellectualism & professionalism, so if for no other reason than that of pragmatism & self preservation, it may be best to simply forget about & allow the art of the compliment to die; a patriarchical vestige of a bygone Victorian era.


or not.

I would agree with this. There are still plenty who love receiving compliments though, and in fact would be upset if they were not told how beautiful they are. My girlfriend is an example. She honestly can't be told enough times how amazing she looks. I prefer it that way because it comes naturally to me. To her credit, she works hard to look good. Diet, exercise, makeup, stylish clothes, hair- the list is endless. You would think after all that, the least someone could do is compliment her. In fact, it would be rude not to. I would hate to have to wonder if I'm complimenting "correctly". It has to come naturally to both parties.

 

[Hieveryone]

Also, when one goes something in a "gentleman" fashion, the women needs to react appropriately. There have been a few times where I have held a door open for a woman, but she says nothing. Really irks me! What happened to common courtesy?

I don’t feel the need to be complimented when I open the door. If I don’t know the girl then yes but if it’s like a girlfriend no formality needed. I don’t recall ever going on a date and the girl saying “thank you” for opening the door but it never stood out to me as rude. Usually they just keep walking forward and we just continue the convo almost as if it’s a given that I would hold the door open

 

[honestone33]

I don’t feel the need to be complimented when I open the door. If I don’t know the girl then yes but if it’s like a girlfriend no formality needed. I don’t recall ever going on a date and the girl saying “thank you” for opening the door but it never stood out to me as rude. Usually they just keep walking forward and we just continue the convo almost as if it’s a given that I would hold the door open

It's actually not a compliment, just a way of acknowledging one's appreciation of the gesture. And yes, for a girl friend/wife, it is not really necessary. My wife, though, does say thank you sometimes when I do a gentlemanly gesture, like opening the door for her, or standing up when she returns to the table (and along with that, pulling out the chair form her before she sits down).

 

[honestone33]

When someone holds a door open for me, regardless of their gender or their age, I always say "thank you," as it is a nice thing for someone to do -- and while I don't expect it, I appreciate it when someone thanks me for holding a door open for them, too.

Well said, although I do expect a thank you from the woman (girlfriend/wife excluded).
[automerge]1597725621[/automerge]

Needs to?

Gentlemen: (I was about to write "guys", but, in this context, "gentlemen" sounds better).

A word to the wise: This Daughter of Eve will bristle if any man, anywhere, thinks to use the verb "needs to" to a woman while discussing (lecturing her on) or simply explaining his interpretation of matters of etiquette or manners, especially as they apply to preferred reactions from women in response to a specific action from a man.

Well, the Daughter of Eve has no class.

 

[Apple fanboy]

I would agree with this. There are still plenty who love receiving compliments though, and in fact would be upset if they were not told how beautiful they are. My girlfriend is an example. She honestly can't be told enough times how amazing she looks. I prefer it that way because it comes naturally to me. To her credit, she works hard to look good. Diet, exercise, makeup, stylish clothes, hair- the list is endless. You would think after all that, the least someone could do is compliment her. In fact, it would be rude not to. I would hate to have to wonder if I'm complimenting "correctly". It has to come naturally to both parties.

There is a difference between complimenting your girlfriend (or in my case wife) on how beautiful they are, than a colleague. It would be strange not to compliment your significant other! But of course those compliments shouldn’t be restricted to just the superficial things like looks. But complimenting them on their achievements and other significant things going on in their lives is equally important.

 

[Apple fanboy]

As for holding doors, I always do for a man or a woman if they are close enough behind me. Although in Covid times I can’t recall doing much of that this year!

 

[Hieveryone]

There is a difference between complimenting your girlfriend (or in my case wife) on how beautiful they are, than a colleague. It would be strange not to compliment your significant other! But of course those compliments shouldn’t be restricted to just the superficial things like looks. But complimenting them on their achievements and other significant things going on in their lives is equally important.

No way I’d ever compliment a colleague. That’s way too risky these days. The wrong person will get offended and it’s impossible to know who will like it and who will throw a fit. Just not worth it. I don’t think I’ve ever complimented my girlfriend outside her looks but I will start doing it. Not a bad idea

 

[Scepticalscribe]

There is a difference between complimenting your girlfriend (or in my case wife) on how beautiful they are, than a colleague. It would be strange not to compliment your significant other! But of course those compliments shouldn’t be restricted to just the superficial things like looks. But complimenting them on their achievements and other significant things going on in their lives is equally important.

Exactly, and very well said.