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What do you consider to be cheating?
- Thread starter Leareth
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To an extent. Some people are a bit insane about that. I'd go for "the average person would consider it to be cheating" [edit: unless your partner doesn't consider it to be cheating, as per the post below]. Which I mainly consider to be physical contact that'd be inappropriate with, say, your parents, and expressed feelings that would be inappropriate towards, say, your siblings.
swingers can have sex outside their relationship and not consider that cheating, as long as both index partners agree.
polyamorous people have relationships with other couples and that's not cheating.
a lot of people would consider the shenanigans over at the American Assoc. for Nude Recreationalism (AANR) cheating cause there's a lot of physical (nude) contact.
BDSM - cheating? depends on the activity.
it seems Americans are most capable of serial monogamy, considering the high divorce rate and high remarriage rate.
polyamorous people have relationships with other couples and that's not cheating.
a lot of people would consider the shenanigans over at the American Assoc. for Nude Recreationalism (AANR) cheating cause there's a lot of physical (nude) contact.
BDSM - cheating? depends on the activity.
it seems Americans are most capable of serial monogamy, considering the high divorce rate and high remarriage rate.
If you don't know if you're cheating on your gf with a friend or acquaintance, think about it this way: Would you touch your sister that way?
Well, I may even consider it cheating if your partner doesn't consider it to be cheating. If your partner generally has a lower sense of self esteem than average (ie: not just her confidence in your relationship, but confidence on most other facets of her life), she may let her partner get away with a lot of things.
Well, I may even consider it cheating if your partner doesn't consider it to be cheating. If your partner generally has a lower sense of self esteem than average (ie: not just her confidence in your relationship, but confidence on most other facets of her life), she may let her partner get away with a lot of things.
Lusting after another person's Mac ... but scrolling over to the Dock in order to click and see something bounce makes one a good candidate for therapy.
I think I might look more inwards than out. Obviously, this depends on you as an individual...
... but I tend to think of cheating in terms of, "If my significant other was doing this with someone else, would I feel like s/he was cheating on me?" If the answer to that question is yes, then yes, whatever I was doing would be considered cheating.
I'll echo other posters and say that cheating and being cheated on is never as simple as we'd like to make it seem. And how could we expect that? People aren't simple. Relationships sure as hell are not simple.
And likewise, I would never trust someone who would righteously state, "I'll never cheat."
... but I tend to think of cheating in terms of, "If my significant other was doing this with someone else, would I feel like s/he was cheating on me?" If the answer to that question is yes, then yes, whatever I was doing would be considered cheating.
I'll echo other posters and say that cheating and being cheated on is never as simple as we'd like to make it seem. And how could we expect that? People aren't simple. Relationships sure as hell are not simple.
And likewise, I would never trust someone who would righteously state, "I'll never cheat."
That's why I run background checks on any chick that I go out with. Very cautious in today's world.
I think that's one of the better definitions I've heard, although if the two people have drastically different ideas on what it means, then things get screwy.
In general, I think that any physical contact or flirting with serious intent constitutes cheating. If I'm joking around with her and we both know that nothing is going to happen between us, then that's not cheating.
Despite having been cheated on, I'm not a very jealous person. As long as she isn't physically or emotionally attached to another guy, she can hang with whomever she wants. And if she did cheat, I'd rather just dump her than try to micromanage her life.
Best thread ever!
This thread is going to go on forever.
This is perhaps one of the most dynamic topics, ever, because so many factors can be considered. The way I see it, there are two extremes (to any argument); one extreme is just the simple thought of another woman other than your own while the other is being caught in bed w/ another woman.
I believe middle ground between the two extremes would seem reasonable. By definition, cheating is to lie, deceive, hide from, be dishonest, violate, etc (regardless of it whether being a thought or action).
I personally see cheating as something that consists of both mental and the physical.
But I allow much more elbow room in the case of it being mental because it would be to obsessive to control thoughts. So many don't become realized. So, as long as the thoughts are under control and has no profound influence to follow-through, I think it's acceptable that your partner is still faithful.
But as soon as those thoughts starts creating friction in real life, that's when disconnects and miscommunication surfaces which eventually will lead to pre-cursors of cheating actions such as calling up old gf/bf, spending time w/ other people talking about the problem, etc etc where those opportunities become a chance for yourself to be vulnerable to receptive others.
In my book, as long as you keep these thoughts to yourself and doesn't have a profound effect on the current relationship, it's fine w/ me. Don't tell me what I don't need to know. In this case, less is more.
It's not to say she should have thoughts of screwing different men everywhere we go with every passing man. Because, at that point, there seems to disconnects between the two.
As for physical cheating, that should be obvious. If she or I become receptively aroused sexually by others (touch) and allowing it to continue, then I think that's cutting it close.
This thread is going to go on forever.
This is perhaps one of the most dynamic topics, ever, because so many factors can be considered. The way I see it, there are two extremes (to any argument); one extreme is just the simple thought of another woman other than your own while the other is being caught in bed w/ another woman.
I believe middle ground between the two extremes would seem reasonable. By definition, cheating is to lie, deceive, hide from, be dishonest, violate, etc (regardless of it whether being a thought or action).
I personally see cheating as something that consists of both mental and the physical.
But I allow much more elbow room in the case of it being mental because it would be to obsessive to control thoughts. So many don't become realized. So, as long as the thoughts are under control and has no profound influence to follow-through, I think it's acceptable that your partner is still faithful.
But as soon as those thoughts starts creating friction in real life, that's when disconnects and miscommunication surfaces which eventually will lead to pre-cursors of cheating actions such as calling up old gf/bf, spending time w/ other people talking about the problem, etc etc where those opportunities become a chance for yourself to be vulnerable to receptive others.
In my book, as long as you keep these thoughts to yourself and doesn't have a profound effect on the current relationship, it's fine w/ me. Don't tell me what I don't need to know. In this case, less is more.
It's not to say she should have thoughts of screwing different men everywhere we go with every passing man. Because, at that point, there seems to disconnects between the two.
As for physical cheating, that should be obvious. If she or I become receptively aroused sexually by others (touch) and allowing it to continue, then I think that's cutting it close.
Or she says "He puts in six quarts..."
For a second there, I thought you were talking about Ogoplex.
Jesus said
"You have heard that it was said, `YOU SHALL NOT COMMIT ADULTERY'; but I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart."
Matthew 5:27 & 28
So, According to God, even having lustful thoughts is considered Cheating, so thats where my stance is.
"You have heard that it was said, `YOU SHALL NOT COMMIT ADULTERY'; but I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart."
Matthew 5:27 & 28
So, According to God, even having lustful thoughts is considered Cheating, so thats where my stance is.
I try and follow Bill Clinton's definition
J/K...
i guess i can swallow that...
thanks risc. the funniest i have read today...
eeeeewwwwwwwwwww... did you have to post a pic?
That's why I run background checks on any chick that I go out with. Very cautious in today's world.
and how do you do that?
get outta here
Considering how many conflicts have been caused by adhering to man's interpretations of God's requirements, I don't know if that is the best reason to live by that.
However, adhering to that because it keeps one out of trouble IS a good reason.
Well put, devilot. *nods*
It's a little too easy sometimes to do things that you yourself would find hurtful if you partner did them. This is a great rule of thumb.
Although it's not really related directly to cheating, my comments relate to the ultimate cause and "new" solution to cheating.
There is a new trend in society of marriage with term restrictions. A couple decides they want to get married, but agree to a "5 year term". The marriage lasts for 5 years, at which point each person can file for divorce if they choose. If they decide to stay together, they add an additional 2 years, and so on.
This allows them to have a significant other, but if they get sick of the other person, they can choose the opt out method at the end of the period. I guess this sort of circumvents the many-year-itch syndrome that plagues many marriages where one or both decide they want to "explore" what else is out there. Instead of cheating, they just leave at the agreed upon date.
pretty nifty, eh? I have mixed feelings about it.
There is a new trend in society of marriage with term restrictions. A couple decides they want to get married, but agree to a "5 year term". The marriage lasts for 5 years, at which point each person can file for divorce if they choose. If they decide to stay together, they add an additional 2 years, and so on.
This allows them to have a significant other, but if they get sick of the other person, they can choose the opt out method at the end of the period. I guess this sort of circumvents the many-year-itch syndrome that plagues many marriages where one or both decide they want to "explore" what else is out there. Instead of cheating, they just leave at the agreed upon date.
pretty nifty, eh? I have mixed feelings about it.
I read an article about it last year. I read a lot of stuff, and I can't remember where I read it, but it wasn't from some rogue blog or news site, I think I linked to it from my.yahoo, where I have rss feeds from rueters, ap, nyt, etc.
Is it cheating?
What if your significant other never finds out and you're so emotionally unattached to reality you feel absolutely no remorse for what you've done?
What if your significant other never finds out and you're so emotionally unattached to reality you feel absolutely no remorse for what you've done?
Using Microsoft Windows...
I guess the more solid your relationships, your friends and family can forgive the once in awhile, "The program is available only on a PC"...
Using a Dell, now that's blasphemy...
Then there's this whole "Zune" thing...
I guess the more solid your relationships, your friends and family can forgive the once in awhile, "The program is available only on a PC"...
Using a Dell, now that's blasphemy...
Then there's this whole "Zune" thing...
BJs aren't cheating? So if your woman gave a man a BJ and told you about it, you'd be ok with it?
That's pretty messed up. What's the point in getting married then?
Almost like prison, you come up for Parole every couple of years!