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What is your best parenting advice to raise a teen?
- Thread starter Delighted
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Add consequences for poor behavior, rewards for good behavior
Just like real life. Don't deviate.
Would help a lot if he spent more time with his kid. There are consequences for prioritizing your job over your family.
None of this is likely to work unless it was started at an early age, though. For those trying to correct behavior late in the game, there's only hoping and praying.
Would help a lot if he spent more time with his kid. There are consequences for prioritizing your job over your family.
None of this is likely to work unless it was started at an early age, though. For those trying to correct behavior late in the game, there's only hoping and praying.
Some of the responses in this thread are revealing in their ignorance. Take away the cell phone, man up and discipline. If only it were that simple, all problems solved, lol.
I agree with the essence of this reply.
We had some grade/social issues with our Son in high school, although my wife was a stay-home Mom when he was in school. I thought at if some grades were low, taking away an extra circular activity might give incentive to do better to regain that activity. It didn't and I now regret that choice although ultimately we and our Son found our way. It included him moving out when he turned 18 for his "freedom". Note, he was back at home within 3 months. One of the primary challenges is the social aspect of your children and what I perceive as lack of forward vision.
Have kids changed in the last 30 years? When I was in high school living a Middle Class life, I realized that I *had* to do something, had to put out effort towards grades, one of the primary yardsticks we are measured by, or my quality of life would change for the worse at some point. I get the feeling that today, many kids only live for today, for what they want right now, and have a hard time picturing the future at all. I also get the feeling there is a substantial group of Middle Class kids who feel entitled based on the comfortable life they currently live. Am I way off base?
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I don't think you're off base. Working hard for some worthy effect seems a bit alien these days. Things should just come to us naturally if we just whine enough. You know what I'm saying.
I fully agree. We moved from a solidly middle class (UK version, not US) area of the UK which had all the trappings, private school, large houses, Bimmers, Porsches and Jags, etc.., to a rural community in Canada when my kids were young (5-10). They got to see what its like when you don't have privilege pushing you from behind. My eldest is going to uni this Sept on a scholarship, all his own doing, and his younger brother is even more diligent.
As to the OP... more ears, less mouth.
Never, EVER inject yourself into another family like that unless you ARE family. It will only end in pain, heartache and lost friendships. Just offer an ear, but DON'T offer a course of action.
I swear dude, don't do it.
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Not a parent huh?
I swear dude, don't do it.
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Not a parent huh?
Off the top of my head, I think consistency is extremely important - making sure both parents act as a united front and follow through with consequences.
This being said, I would not offer parenting advice to anyone without it being specifically asked for. Listen and be there if he needs to vent, but I wouldn't meddle.
This being said, I would not offer parenting advice to anyone without it being specifically asked for. Listen and be there if he needs to vent, but I wouldn't meddle.
Good point.
I only take advice from parents who's kids are already behaving the way I want mine to behave.
Most of the parental advice on Internet forums is crap. Except mine, of course.
Let them fail, let them try things on their own, let them learn the value of work. Also, be careful to always use a positive tense (note the lack of the word "don't").
Because using Facebook is obligatory, right?
I guess I came off strong? Sorry.
I'm just saying while there would be similar problems, A lot of problems today wouldn't have been a problem for an older person. And you don't have to use Facebook, but most people do.
When raising children; my rules simplified below:
1. Love- show it and say it often.
2. Discipline- (early, often)
3. Structure- (build the foundation for them to stand on) Ethics, Morals, values
4. Consistency- (probably one of the most important and hardest to achieve)
5. Listen- (don't just hear).
Rinse and repeat a million times, even if your tired. Your the parent- it's a lifelong job to give the child the building blocks for success.
1. Love- show it and say it often.
2. Discipline- (early, often)
3. Structure- (build the foundation for them to stand on) Ethics, Morals, values
4. Consistency- (probably one of the most important and hardest to achieve)
5. Listen- (don't just hear).
Rinse and repeat a million times, even if your tired. Your the parent- it's a lifelong job to give the child the building blocks for success.
I 100% agree. Discipline should always be establish and reinforced if necessary. Specially when your child hits the "teen stage" because of peer pressure, hormonal and physical changes they tend to rebel. Just keep an eye on them and guide them every step of the way. There are programs for teen discipline, you can check one here.
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You know, my 15 year old niece has that attitude. The problem is I have/had the exact same physiological issues she has. I see so much of myself in her. I have tried to guide her on how to deal with her issues, but I hear this argument over and over. So she is going to have figure out on her own that she is not the only one on this planet that has had a rough go of it.
And this is probably every generation's folly.
I agree. Something I have learned over the years is sometimes when someone sounds like they are looking for advice, they are really issuing a warning or trying to give you advice. "Don't do what I did or you'll end up where I am." I am one of those people who like to fix things, so it's really hard for me to hear the difference sometimes.
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In my opinion good friends or relatives can be far better than professional help, especially when professional help these days often consists of "just give the kid some prosac".
Certainly this isn't a problem that can be adressed during a lunch at work. Maybe the ops co-worker is looking for someone to listen to his problems, even that can already help. Beyond that I'm afraid there is not much the op can do - especially without knowing more details that shouldn't be shared in an internet forum.