Steve comes out
"We've got a lot of great things to show you, but first some updates"
"We have sold x millions IOS devices, and continue to be the largest mobile manufacturer in the world."
"Lion was released on the Mac App store, and it was a great success, the easiest upgrade ever, and out customers just loved it"
"We've been opening new stores too, look at these pictures of our new stores, aren't they just beautiful?"
A quick update on IOS 5, "the final BETA is out for our developers, and so far they have loved it, this is the most advanced mobile OS there is, and we can't wait for our customers to get their hands on it."
New iPhone, "Now if you believe the rumours, this year we will be releasing an iPhone 4s, and improved iPhone 4. But this is not something we are going to do, we've worked really hard on this, and what we've come up with is simply the best phone you have ever seen"
"Look, isn't this beaufitul, larger display, dual core A5 chip"
"If you look at flicker, you can see that the iPhone 4 is the most popular camera people are using to upload their pictures, and this tells us that people love taking photo's with their phones, so we're going to make it even better, the iPhone 5 has a 8MP cameraAND A MORE RESPONSIVE SENSOR, TO LET IN MORE LIGHT AND DECREASE NOISE IN LOW LIGHT SITUATIONS, and its remarkable."
"Also shoots 1080p full HD"
"Battery life is better than ever"
"We are also introducing something that we are really excited about, and we know that you are going to love it too....NFC"
"We think that paying with credit cards can sometimes just be too much of a hassle and can really create a lot of clutter in your purse or wallet. We decided to help you guys out some with that [DEMONSTRATES NFC TECHNOLOGY, CROWD GOES CRAZY]"
"Something else we are really excited about, and we know that the rumor mills have been going nuts about this, is LTE support. We got our hands on the Qualcomm dualband chips sooner than anyone else and we are really excited that you guys can get your hands on them too!"
"Out next week in most countries, available to pre-order today!"
iPods:
"The iPod classic has been a great icon of ours, and today it gets retired, to compensate for that, we are introducing a 128GB ipod touch for those with huge itunes libraries. It also has the same bigger display as the iphone 5. Plus a camera actually worth using!"
"Last year we introduced the new iPod Nano, and people have loved it. But they have told us, we miss watching video. So today we introduce the new Ipod Nano, slightly larger display, that when turned sideways can watch widescreen video, what a remarkable device. and it comes in colours"
"The iPod shuffle is now even smaller" (somehow??)
iCloud
"iCloud kicks off next week, the same day that the new iPhone is released, and boy are we ready for it"
more pictures of that massive building with all the high tech stuff inside.
"We think all this new great innovation is going to keep us above the competition for a long time"
Shows new ads and video's of Johnny Ive creaming himself over the enw designs.
*Yeah, im bored at work