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What’s on your mind?

A couple of years ago my Dad, now 79, said to me "did you hear that Phil Graham has died?" I was devastated. Phil was such a lovely man. I hadn't seen him in years. I grieved for about 5 days until, driving home from work one day I saw him in his garden!

I bumped into him a few weeks later and told him this story and he told me it was his brother that had died. I told him I'd never been happier to see him in his garden that day! Parents hey? 🙄
 
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In the same vein, but more personal.

A few years ago my endocrinologist rang me up and said "Why aren't you dead yet?". Which is a tad disconcerting to get a call like that from a doctor.

Anyway the day before I had had some blood samples taken, and when he got the results he was concerned. So he sent me down to the local hospital and rang ahead saying I needed some chemical intravenously immediately to counteract what was wrong with my blood. I arrived a little after 12 noon, and by 7:30 pm they had me hooked up. (Ok, 'immediately' is a term with variable meaning...) They put me in a bed which was too inches too short (I'm not even 6 foot, and it was still too short, who makes hospital beds only 5"10" long?) and I stayed overnight.

A few days later an ENT (Ear, Nose and Throat) surgeon delicately sliced my neck open and removed a record-breaking parathyroid (no not the thyroid, that's the big one, parathyroids are 4 small ones) gland. They are supposed to only weigh 50 milligrams each, the one he took out was 5 grams. It took a year or so, but my sense of mental equilibrium finally returned. Oh, and I could have died, but I didn't, and I am still around to annoy my wife by forgetting to take the washing in. I'm still absent-minded, but I am calmer about it.

And the annoying thing? After having my neck sliced open, he did such a neat job of it that I don't have a scar. I mean, who has their neck cut open and not get a scar? It's like the crocodile bite (ok, only one small, sharp tooth, but it was still a crocodile bite) on my hand that got covered up by a bigger scar when a different doctor took out a sun keratosis (small skin cancer). I mean, a crocodile bite is cool, but a sun keratosis? In Australia? Everybody has them.*



* Well, all of us whose ancestors hail from the British Isles.
 
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kenni417 said:
extremely anxious. can't stop thinking about death and how to cope with the loss of a loved one. makes me scared as hell.
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Try to talk it out with a trusted friend or professional service. Do not suffer in isolation. Positive thoughts will come eventually. Take care.
 
I died once when I was kid hit by dump truck breaking my arm, leg and ribs and jaw broke in two places! I was out twice where they had to sock me to bring me back and give me 4 pints of blood! They had shocked me is the recovery room and once while knockout for 4 months! I saw a light tunnel and a strange women said to me told me it wasn’t time yet!

When I came out of coma I told my Mother of this woman! I told her her description and she started crying! She said I described her a other whom died of cancer when she was 12! I also told a Doctor where to find his list doctors scope on top of the cabinet and he found them there! It was strangest sensation I ever had!
 
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Hello when I was in coma, I was never had this.
But I thought I was look after chickens, a long time, and when they missing I was out of my long coma (to April until until September) too strange !
 
Been stressing over a certification exam for weeks. Just completed it in half an hour and passed with flying colours. It's supposed to take an hour and a half lmao.

As well as the obvious sense of personal achievement this is gonna do wonders for my career so I'm super hyped!
 
sgtaylor5 said:
What’s that? Like AFB, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to retire.
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It’s still far, but at least unless the whole world explodes I’ll still be fairly young (54). It’s one of the advantages of a somewhat safe government job (as safe as a job can be).
 
yaxomoxay said:
It’s still far, but at least unless the whole world explodes I’ll still be fairly young (54). It’s one of the advantages of a somewhat safe government job (as safe as a job can be).
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So you are younger than me? Enjoy your early retirement. As Mrs AFB doesn’t work, we only have my income so that’s one of the reasons how ever much I save, it would never be enough. Especially with the current interest rates!
 
I suspect you're right about that, especially when it comes to private corporations as opposed to state or federal pensions. I not only get my own pension from the county for which I worked, I also get the pension from my late husband's employer, and that is a real blessing as they no longer provide that to surviving spouses for the spouse's lifetime, the benefit which I received, along with lifetime health insurance coverage. The latter I especially appreciated prior to being eligible for Medicare and it is a valuable supplement to Medicare.
 
Clix Pix said:
I suspect you're right about that, especially when it comes to private corporations as opposed to state or federal pensions. I not only get my own pension from the county for which I worked, I also get the pension from my late husband's employer, and that is a real blessing as they no longer provide that to surviving spouses for the spouse's lifetime, the benefit which I received, along with lifetime health insurance coverage. The latter I especially appreciated prior to being eligible for Medicare and it is a valuable supplement to Medicare.
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Yes it does get tougher on each generation. The issue we have now is equity release. So where as people used to get an inheritance from their parents, many will find that the family home has been topping up their parents pension fund for years.
 
And then when there is a death and the house is sold there could be an inheritance tax slapped on for the heirs, if the house were worth significantly more than whatever the tax cap is.

Ah, I just looked up Equity Release and now see that it is what in the US is often called a "reverse mortgage," where the homeowner who has a fair amount of equity does a deal with a company and they start using the resources from the equity while still remaining in the home. That can really be a trap, though, for the homeowner and his or her heirs, especially when at the end there may be no equity left at all. Depending upon how the reverse mortgage is written, too, the heirs may be responsible for paying anything owed to the reverse mortgage company. Some choose to just walk away from the house altogether, leaving the mortgage company to do with it as they will. Sad state of affairs, really.
 
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Clix Pix said:
And then when there is a death and the house is sold there could be an inheritance tax slapped on for the heirs, if the house were worth significantly more than whatever the tax cap is.

Ah, I just looked up Equity Release and now see that it is what in the US is often called a "reverse mortgage," where the homeowner who has a fair amount of equity does a deal with a company and they start using the resources from the equity while still remaining in the home. That can really be a trap, though, for the homeowner and his or her heirs, especially when at the end there may be no equity left at all. Depending upon how the reverse mortgage is written, too, the heirs may be responsible for paying anything owed to the reverse mortgage company. Some choose to just walk away from the house altogether, leaving the mortgage company to do with it as they will. Sad state of affairs, really.
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So I think it works a little differently. Say your house is worth £500,000. The equity company would lend you say a maximum of £200,000. You don’t have to pay it back and they can’t force you out of the property before you die or move into a care home. Then the house is sold after this and they get their % back (which will be much more than the original £200,000 you borrowed!). Anything left goes to your beneficiary’s.
I believe it’s a terrible deal. But many see it as a way to enjoy their retirement.
 
Why’s everyone want to retire? I can’t think of anything worse. Isn’t it one more step closer to you know what?
 
AVBeatMan said:
Why’s everyone want to retire? I can’t think of anything worse. Isn’t it one more step closer to you know what?
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Never heard the phrase "retire yourself to death," but I've heard of people working themselves to death.

Plus, you can retire and still do what you love. If money were no concern, I'd still be doing this. :)
 
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