Who else here doesn't get their girlfriends?

[ravenvii]

The idea that there is a level of acceptable fighting is just another one of those unacceptable behaviours that society has learned to tolerate as some cockeyed societal norm. It's this kind of idea that kept men and women trapped in abusive relationships for decades, and to this day still keeps people stuck in unhappy and miserable unions.

I don't think a relationship that never sees a argument is a good one. It shows that one, or both, sides doesn't stand up for him/herself, or never got close enough where they have to sometimes clash to adjust to each other.

Too much fighting is not a good thing either, but some argument here and there which leads to a resolution 90% of the time, shows the growth of both partners, and that's one of the most important things. A couple that grows together forms a strong relationship. If the couple grows apart, and couldn't reconcile themselves, then they know they're not right for each other.

A relationship without any arguing at all is not a real one.

 

[emt1]

I don't think a relationship that never sees a argument is a good one. It shows that one, or both, sides doesn't stand up for him/herself, or never got close enough where they have to sometimes clash to adjust to each other.

Too much fighting is not a good thing either, but some argument here and there which leads to a resolution 90% of the time, shows the growth of both partners, and that's one of the most important things. A couple that grows together forms a strong relationship. If the couple grows apart, and couldn't reconcile themselves, then they know they're not right for each other.

A relationship without any arguing at all is not a real one.

Disagreements are okay. Fights aren't. Fights imply some sort of violent, illogical, animalistic battle. Communication is great though, and nobody should sacrifice everything for someone else...

 

[ViciousShadow21]

im going to give you people the benefit of the doubt and say we have diffrent ideas of what "fight" means. im going to leave it at that. my fiancee and i have gotten in fights but by no means are we abusive. and Iscariot again you have no idea what my relationship is so dont jump to the conclusion that we are abusive to eachother.

 

[sushi]

Disagreements are okay. Fights aren't. Fights imply some sort of violent, illogical, animalistic battle.

Exactly. And there are many couples out there that end up at this level. That's why the relationships don't last in the long run.

im going to give you people the benefit of the doubt and say we have diffrent ideas of what "fight" means. im going to leave it at that. my fiancee and i have gotten in fights but by no means are we abusive.

What I've observed over time is that those who can discuss their differences or issues and resolve them tend to have relationships that survive in the long run.

I would venture to say that if you yell at or fight with your significant other on a regular basis then you are destined for a rocky relationship that will not survive in the long run.

Kind of like the old man who watches 100 folks jump off the garage in the back yard where 95 of them break their leg or ankle and only 5 make it without breaking anything. Number 101 comes along and asks what will happen. The old man says that you will probably break your leg or ankle, and he has a 95% chance of being right.

Hope you are in the 5%

 

[Iscariot]

The idea that there is a level of acceptable fighting is just another one of those unacceptable behaviours that society has learned to tolerate as some cockeyed societal norm.

I don't think a relationship that never sees a argument is a good one.

An argument =/= fighting. People are capable of standing up for themselves without resorting to yelling, screaming, and hurling abuse.

 

[sushi]

An argument =/= fighting. People are capable of standing up for themselves without resorting to yelling, screaming, and hurling abuse.

Well said.

Every couple has disagreements. No two people are exactly the same. However, it is how they handle those disagreements that makes the difference in how that relationship will grow over time or simply die on the vine.

 

[ravenvii]

An argument =/= fighting. People are capable of standing up for themselves without resorting to yelling, screaming, and hurling abuse.

Yeah, I took "fighting" to mean something a bit differently, but I get you.

 

[Full of Win]

You are coming at this the wrong way - you will never 'get' women. It does not work that way. In my opinion, the average woman is governed too strongly by her emotions, and these are so variable and erratic that 'getting' them is not possible.

This is not an insult to women, just a biased opinion made from observations.

 

[andalusia]

I've always found it's MUCH easier just to agree with them in an argument, even if you're right (or, you THINK you're right ) and then calm them down. This makes it easy to discuss rather than argue, getting to a nicer result than a heated fight.
Also, I like how the OP joined this forum just to post this thread

 

[Abstract]

im going to give you people the benefit of the doubt and say we have diffrent ideas of what "fight" means. im going to leave it at that. my fiancee and i have gotten in fights but by no means are we abusive. and Iscariot again you have no idea what my relationship is so dont jump to the conclusion that we are abusive to eachother.

No, I'm with you.

It really depends on the type of people involved though. Some people disagree and always have a calm demeanor even when they're furious because they're better at controlling themselves. They'd never raise their voice in other situations either, so it's not just a relationship thing. I think if two people with this type of personality are "fighting" (which I define as talking really loud, and possibly saying things to each other that they don't mean. This doesn't necessarily have to reach the level of verbal or physical abuse to be considered "fighting"), it's a bad sign.

However, there are other types of people who have a stronger personality, and if two such people are dating, and two such people get into an argument, it's going to get more heated (or appear to be) when they argue. I don't see why it should be considered out of the ordinary for two such people. Whether this is a bad sign or not should be based on the personality of the two people involved.

 

[ViciousShadow21]

No, I'm with you.

It really depends on the type of people involved though. Some people disagree and always have a calm demeanor even when they're furious because they're better at controlling themselves. They'd never raise their voice in other situations either, so it's not just a relationship thing. I think if two people with this type of personality are "fighting" (which I define as talking really loud, and possibly saying things to each other that they don't mean. This doesn't necessarily have to reach the level of verbal or physical abuse to be considered "fighting"), it's a bad sign.

However, there are other types of people who have a stronger personality, and if two such people are dating, and two such people get into an argument, it's going to get more heated (or appear to be) when they argue. I don't see why it should be considered out of the ordinary for two such people. Whether this is a bad sign or not should be based on the personality of the two people involved.

ha. very well put in my opinion. she is 1/4 italian and 1/4 Venezuelan so she can be pretty sassy and im part croatian and german so i can be pretty "strong" as well haha. so we have our moments of "passion" on both ends of the spectrum. but i dont think there can or ever will be a relationship with out…conflict (better word than fight). but your right it depends on the person.