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Yet More Girl Advice

Well, at your age, I hope to god "better safe than sorry" isn't something you have to worry about on a first date. But as someone older, I can definitely attest to the reality that sometimes first dates go waaaay further than one might have predicted, and one should always bring condoms (discreetly).
 
I have to disagree on both things...

I know quite a few people who needed condoms on the first date more than one time and were way younger than him.

On the other hand I never needed condoms on a first date and I am 37 now, married, two children. And I don't want to be arrogant, but it is not because I am ugly, I am a handsome guy.

I guess this is more about principles and moral values than about age...

I had some really hot dates in my life but it would never have crossed my mind to end up having sex with them the first evening. How do I get to know the person better when sex gets into the way right away? Sex is a too precious and private thing. I only want to share that with a perosn I really like and trust. And trust is a little delicatre flower that has to grow over the time...

Call me old-fashioned, but I like my point of view... and so does my wife.

groovebuster
 
groovebuster said:
I have to disagree on both things...

I know quite a few people who needed condoms on the first date more than one time and were way younger than him.

On the other hand I never needed condoms on a first date and I am 37 now, married, two children. And I don't want to be arrogant, but it is not because I am ugly, I am a handsome guy.

I guess this is more about principles and moral values than about age...

I had some really hot dates in my life but it would never have crossed my mind to end up having sex with them the first evening. How do I get to know the person better when sex gets into the way right away? Sex is a too precious and private thing. I only want to share that with a perosn I really like and trust. And trust is a little delicatre flower that has to grow over the time...

Call me old-fashioned, but I like my point of view... and so does my wife.

groovebuster
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i guess i'm an old fashioned 17 year old
it's definetely worth waiting for
building trust is super-important
 
Patmian212 said:
So any updates?
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Why yes, I just got back a little while ago.

We had a good time. The plan was to meet at Starbucks at 3:30, I was there on time, she didn't get there until 3:50 (strike one!). She got a coffee, and we just sat and talked for a bit. After a while we left to go for a walk, and we talked some more. She is a real chatter box, but it wasn't too bad. At least she was self conscious about it. We said our goodbyes at around 7:00, and went our seperate ways.
It was pretty fun. I'm so tired though. (From the walking, got it? You dirty, dirty people, with your no-pants days, and your safe sex advice! :) )
Since we didn't get around to eating anything, and I was getting hungry, I went to get some pizza afterwards. But that was totally unrelated.
 
Is another meet arranged? Do you want to meet with her again? If so, did you inform her of the wonderful time you had? If not, did you bust out the MacBook Pro and ignore her?

You dirty, dirty people, with your no-pants days, and your safe sex advice!
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I never said one thing about sex. Get advice from someone who actually has experience with this "sex" you speak of. Ahhh, some might think I was joking, but I really wasn't.
 
ghall said:
Why yes, I just got back a little while ago.

We had a good time. The plan was to meet at Starbucks at 3:30, I was there on time, she didn't get there until 3:50 (strike one!). She got a coffee, and we just sat and talked for a bit. After a while we left to go for a walk, and we talked some more. She is a real chatter box, but it wasn't too bad. At least she was self conscious about it. We said our goodbyes at around 7:00, and went our seperate ways.
It was pretty fun. I'm so tired though. (From the walking, got it? You dirty, dirty people, with your no-pants days, and your safe sex advice! :) )
Since we didn't get around to eating anything, and I was getting hungry, I went to get some pizza afterwards. But that was totally unrelated.
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First off, girls (and 10% of guys :cool:) are often what is called "fashionably late". As a young straight man, you can't get away with it (unless you are arriving with a girl).

What kind of coffee did she get?
Are you seeing her again?
When's the next date?
Where?
What should we all wear?
 
I think that the most important thing here is to over analyse this date as much as possible. Read something into every little nuance of the conversation and then next time you see her accuse her of cheating on you.

Honestly whatever happened to people finding out the hard way. We're all different what works for one person isn't so good for another. And to be honest if you are already claiming that she chatted too much it's never going to work - when you have been with someone years then you forgive silly things, when it's just a first date it's simpler to say this isn't meant to be. She's probably whining to her friends about how she had to make all the conversation and you're dull as dishwater.
 
jimN said:
I think that the most important thing here is to over analyse this date as much as possible. Read something into every little nuance of the conversation and then next time you see her accuse her of cheating on you.
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What the hell?

Anyway, the rest of your post made a lot of sense. Thanks.
 
ghall said:
What the hell?

Anyway, the rest of your post made a lot of sense. Thanks.
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Evidently I was having a sarcastic dig at your need to come on-line and start dissecting your date after it has just happened. You need to get out there, live a little and unfortunately you also need to make a few mistakes - because ultimately that's how you learn.
 
jimN said:
Evidently I was having a sarcastic dig at your need to come on-line and start dissecting your date after it has just happened. You need to get out there, live a little and unfortunately you also need to make a few mistakes - because ultimately that's how you learn.
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Ok...
 
Legolamb said:
Hey, now you learnt something about girl-speak; we tend to chatter when we're nervous.
No doubt you'll master this whole dating thing before the third date.
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YAY! Someone actually has an optimistic view on this.
I might get together with her for lunch today, which doesn't really count as a date, since it's during school.
 
i feel you don t really get to meet the real person on dates, because when we go on a date i feel that even we try or not we are in a "date mode" not really us, we can be completely honest and try to be ourselves but that's as far as it gets, trying, it really isn't us IMO. i think going for lunch and sharing "real life" (i ll use this to describe what i can t explain because of my limited english vocab)time together taht way yo get to know the real her and she gets to know the real you which is what counts if you really want it to go somewhere, i think it's great....:D
 
nickster9224 said:
any updates?
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Wow, you people still aren't satisfied are you? :)
Anyway, we're getting together for lunch this thursday (hopefully), and we'll take it from there.

I wish I knew if she likes me just as a friend, or something more.
Well, at least I know we're friends. :)
 
When I'm first dating a girl, I don't act really flirty or anything, so I'll know I have to casually touch them once in a while, to signal my interest, so they don't think that I just want to be friends. For example, if we go for coffee, and we're talking, at some point I'll affectionately put my hand on their thigh or arm, usually at some climax of a story, or at a humourous point. And if things are going well, when we're walking together outside, I'll sometimes put my arm around their shoulder. I think that works 10x better than trying to explain one's feelings or something awkward like that.
 
MarkCollette said:
When I'm first dating a girl, I don't act really flirty or anything, so I'll know I have to casually touch them once in a while, to signal my interest, so they don't think that I just want to be friends. For example, if we go for coffee, and we're talking, at some point I'll affectionately put my hand on their thigh or arm, usually at some climax of a story, or at a humourous point. And if things are going well, when we're walking together outside, I'll sometimes put my arm around their shoulder. I think that works 10x better than trying to explain one's feelings or something awkward like that.
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And then if she slaps you in the face, then you know the answer to wether she likes you or not. :)
 
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