Your favorite programming jokes

[mrsir2009]

What are your favorite programming/code jokes?

 

[simsaladimbamba]

There are only 10 types of people in the world: Those who understand binary, and those who don't.

I don't know more though, and I guess the above is mentioned enough to be a nuisance.

Ah, another one I saw on a shirt on some small TV series:

I see dead pixel.

 

[mrsir2009]

LOLed at the latter... This UNIX one is I believe is quite old and everyone knows it...but still:

date ; unzip ; strip ; touch ; grep ; finger ; mount ; fsck ; more ; yes ; umount ; sleep

 

[simsaladimbamba]

LOLed at the latter... This UNIX one is I believe is quite old and everyone knows it...but still:

I read it today for the first time when MacDawg posted it as some kind of love letter to jessica.

 

[mrsir2009]

I read it today for the first time when MacDawg posted it as some kind of love letter to jessica.

Hmm, maybe it is not so common after all 😀

 

[dmr727]

Eight bytes walk into a bar. The bartender asks, "Can I get you anything?"

"Yeah," reply the bytes. "Make us a double."

 

[RawBert]

Programming is like sex. One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.

Also, the first time I saw "<sarcasm> *insert smart-ass remark* </sarcasm>" in an online forum, I couldn't stop laughing.

 

[Abstract]

Windows ME

 

[Synchromesh]

Windows ME

That's the funniest one so far. 🙂

How about this one: 01000101. 😉

 

[dejo]

A college professor of mine said only programmers would find an infinite loop in shampoo instructions.

 

[stonyc]

A college professor of mine said only programmers would find an infinite loop in shampoo instructions.

Haha, good one.

 

[Silencio]

The way I heard the joke back in the day was this way:

How did the computer programmer die in the shower?

By following the instructions on the shampoo bottle:

LATHER
RINSE
REPEAT

Another good one is the old bumper sticker that read "Forth Love If Honk Then". And yes, the wacky syntax drove me away from attempting to learn that particular language.

 

[chrmjenkins]

There's no place like 127.0.0.1.

Or

man woman
segmentation fault

 

[notjustjay]

A SQL query goes into a bar, walks up to two tables and asks, "Can I join you?"

The reply: "Yes, naturally."

 

[jav6454]

'Nuff said.

 

[chown33]

Another good one is the old bumper sticker that read "Forth Love If Honk Then". And yes, the wacky syntax drove me away from attempting to learn that particular language.

Honk

: FORTH-PROGRAMMERS BEGIN DOIT ?TERMINAL UNTIL ;

 

[notjustjay]

["hip", "hip"]


(any takers?)


("hip, hip" array!)

 

[tbob]

my problems[98];
for (x=0; x<99; x++){
	if(problems[x] == girl){
		i.feelbadfor(you, "son");
	}
	else{}
}

 

[Melrose]

LOLed at the latter... This UNIX one is I believe is quite old and everyone knows it...but still:

I saw that in the other thread and had to laugh. 😀

 

[4JNA]

A college professor of mine said only programmers would find an infinite loop in shampoo instructions.

i'll see your infinite loop and raise you one.

while ( ! ( succeed = try() ) );

Windows ME

epic. also an infinite loop of fail/reload/fail. 😉

 

[Loge]

Maybe more maths than programming but -

f(x) went into a bar. The bartender says "Sorry, we don't cater for functions".

 

[mrsir2009]

Q: How many programers dose it take to change a light bulb?
A: None – It’s a hardare problem

 

[Cromulent]

Eight bytes walk into a bar. The bartender asks, "Can I get you anything?"

"Yeah," reply the bytes. "Make us a double."

Haha, I like that one.

 

[mrsir2009]

A college professor of mine said only programmers would find an infinite loop in shampoo instructions.

Priceless.

 

[toolbox]

Windows ME

LoL So true