Got a tip for us?
Let us know
Become a MacRumors Supporter for $50/year with no ads, ability to filter front page stories, and private forums.
Your favourite funny quotes
- Thread starter greygray
- Start date
- Sort by reaction score
"I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly." - Winston Churchill
I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.
Douglas Adams
English humorist & science fiction novelist (1952 - 2001)
Douglas Adams
English humorist & science fiction novelist (1952 - 2001)
"I wondered why the Frisbee was getting bigger, and then it hit me." - not sure of the source.
(I don't know, it was the first thing that came to mind that wasn't (?) in a movie)
(I don't know, it was the first thing that came to mind that wasn't (?) in a movie)
One of my own
"There are 10 types of people in this world - those who understand binary and those who do not."
- Matthew Boston
"There are 10 types of people in this world - those who understand binary and those who do not."
- Matthew Boston
"The problem with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat." ~ Lily Tomlin.
Churchill had some good ones. This one isn't funny, per se, but I like it: "When you're going through hell, keep going."
Churchill had some good ones. This one isn't funny, per se, but I like it: "When you're going through hell, keep going."
"Whatever floats your boat, just dont knock into mine" -Me.
I hope this thread lives for a very long time. I love quotes!
I hope this thread lives for a very long time. I love quotes!
Sign in a jewelry store window: :Ears pierced while you wait."
Lily Tomlin: "Reality is just a collective hunch."
Lily Tomlin: "Reality is just a collective hunch."
"Mr. Madison, what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul"
classic
classic
No matter where you go, never take an idiot with you; You can always pick one up when you get there! (Billy Connolly)
"Practice makes perfect - but nobody's perfect, so why practice?"
Not sure where this came from but I used to always say it in school.
Not sure where this came from but I used to always say it in school.
"I have ever prayed but one prayer: Lord, make my enemies ridiculous. And the Lord granted my prayer."
--Voltaire.
--Voltaire.
"If women don't find you handsome, they should at least find you handy." - Red Green
"If you want a job done right, hire an ugly man" - Al Bundy
They're two different ways of saying the same thing. Take it from a guy who gets the job done right.
"If you want a job done right, hire an ugly man" - Al Bundy
They're two different ways of saying the same thing.
Take it from a guy who gets the job done right.
Who originally said that? i think it was some jerk Jets fan with nothing to contribute to the thread of his own.
Who originally said that? i think it was some jerk Jets fan with nothing to contribute to the thread of his own.
Such anger. Who peed in your Cheerios this morning?
Such anger. Who peed in your Cheerios this morning?
Haha. That had my chuckling. Good one sir.
That one has been around for a long time. I bought the t-shirt from ThinkGeek years ago. It's still good, though. Even some of my network guru co-workers didn't get it at first.
Churchill was a one man quote machine. I like this one supposedly by Einstein:
Only two things are infinite: The universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.