Your favourite funny quotes

Discussion in 'Community Discussion' started by greygray, Oct 27, 2009.

  1. greygray macrumors 68000

    greygray

    Joined:
    Oct 22, 2009
    #1
    Mine is 'I love defenseless animals, especially in a good gravy.':D

    What's yours?
     
  2. edesignuk Moderator emeritus

    edesignuk

    Joined:
    Mar 25, 2002
    Location:
    London, England
    #2
    "I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly." - Winston Churchill
     
  3. Peterkro macrumors 68020

    Peterkro

    Joined:
    Aug 17, 2004
    Location:
    Communard de Londres
    #3
    I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.
    Douglas Adams
    English humorist & science fiction novelist (1952 - 2001)
     
  4. iBlue macrumors Core

    iBlue

    Joined:
    Mar 17, 2005
    Location:
    London, England
    #4
    "I wondered why the Frisbee was getting bigger, and then it hit me." - not sure of the source.

    (I don't know, it was the first thing that came to mind that wasn't (?) in a movie)
     
  5. juanm macrumors 65816

    juanm

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    Fury 161
  6. Bostonaholic macrumors 6502

    Bostonaholic

    Joined:
    Aug 21, 2009
    Location:
    Columbus, Ohio
    #6
    One of my own

    "There are 10 types of people in this world - those who understand binary and those who do not."
    - Matthew Boston
     
  7. Melrose macrumors 604

    Melrose

    Joined:
    Dec 12, 2007
    #7
    "The problem with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat." ~ Lily Tomlin.

    Churchill had some good ones. This one isn't funny, per se, but I like it: "When you're going through hell, keep going."
     
  8. SuperCompu2 macrumors 6502a

    SuperCompu2

    Joined:
    Jul 23, 2006
    Location:
    MA
    #8
    "If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure" -GWB
     
  9. Unspoken Demise macrumors 68040

    Unspoken Demise

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    >9,000
    #9
    "Whatever floats your boat, just dont knock into mine" -Me.

    I hope this thread lives for a very long time. I love quotes! :)
     
  10. 7254278 macrumors 68020

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2004
    Location:
    NYC
    #10
    Unaware of the source. "Let's not turn this rape into a murder"
     
  11. Bostonaholic macrumors 6502

    Bostonaholic

    Joined:
    Aug 21, 2009
    Location:
    Columbus, Ohio
    #11
    "60% of the time it works every time."

    I think we all know the source ;)
     
  12. ZachsMacDaddy macrumors 6502

    ZachsMacDaddy

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    Dec 24, 2007
    Location:
    Maryland
  13. Little HZ macrumors regular

    Little HZ

    Joined:
    Nov 15, 2008
    Location:
    New Mexico
    #13
    Sign in a jewelry store window: :Ears pierced while you wait."

    Lily Tomlin: "Reality is just a collective hunch." ;)
     
  14. leomac08 macrumors 68020

    leomac08

    Joined:
    Jul 12, 2009
    Location:
    Los Angeles, CA
    #14
    "Mr. Madison, what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul"

    :p;) classic
     
  15. IntheNet macrumors regular

    IntheNet

    Joined:
    Oct 6, 2009
    #15
    "Transparency and the rule of law will be the touchstones of this Presidency"
    B. Obama

    :D
     
  16. costabunny macrumors 68020

    costabunny

    Joined:
    May 15, 2008
    Location:
    Weymouth, UK
    #16
    No matter where you go, never take an idiot with you; You can always pick one up when you get there! (Billy Connolly)
     
  17. That-Is-Bull macrumors 6502

    That-Is-Bull

    Joined:
    Sep 29, 2007
    Location:
    Edmond, Oklahoma
    #17
    "Practice makes perfect - but nobody's perfect, so why practice?"

    Not sure where this came from but I used to always say it in school.
     
  18. gilkisson macrumors 65816

    gilkisson

    #18
    "I have ever prayed but one prayer: Lord, make my enemies ridiculous. And the Lord granted my prayer."

    --Voltaire.
     
  19. Mousse macrumors 68000

    Mousse

    Joined:
    Apr 7, 2008
    Location:
    Flea Bottom, King's Landing
    #19
    "If women don't find you handsome, they should at least find you handy." - Red Green

    "If you want a job done right, hire an ugly man" - Al Bundy

    They're two different ways of saying the same thing.:D Take it from a guy who gets the job done right.:eek:;):p
     
  20. rdowns macrumors Penryn

    rdowns

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    Jul 11, 2003
  21. Unspoken Demise macrumors 68040

    Unspoken Demise

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    #21
    Who originally said that? i think it was some jerk Jets fan with nothing to contribute to the thread of his own. :rolleyes: :D :p
     
  22. rdowns macrumors Penryn

    rdowns

    Joined:
    Jul 11, 2003
    #22

    Such anger. Who peed in your Cheerios this morning? ;)
     
  23. Unspoken Demise macrumors 68040

    Unspoken Demise

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    #23
    Haha. That had my chuckling. Good one sir. :)
     
  24. steve2112 macrumors 68040

    steve2112

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    Feb 20, 2009
    Location:
    East of Lyra, Northwest of Pegasus
    #24
    That one has been around for a long time. I bought the t-shirt from ThinkGeek years ago. It's still good, though. Even some of my network guru co-workers didn't get it at first.

    Churchill was a one man quote machine. I like this one supposedly by Einstein:

    Only two things are infinite: The universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.
     
  25. Melrose macrumors 604

    Melrose

    Joined:
    Dec 12, 2007
    #25
    "Eagles may soar, but you won't see a weasel get sucked into a jet engine."
     

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