17years old and all the hot girls fancy me. So why am I mad?

[cr2sh]

That attitude is a bit harsh.

I'm sorry you like to judge a book by its cover rather than the contents.

Very shadow indeed.

I don't think she's being harsh.. and I don't think she's judging a book by its cover.

If a guy doesn't have the guts or the confidence to talk or ask out a girl... that has nothing to do with outside appearances... it shows a lack of character, confidence, personal comfort with your own identity... that stuff is all on the inside.

If he had the guts to do what he wants.. then maybe he'd be worth dating.

 

[Transic]

*

 

[aloofman]

I don't think she's being harsh.. and I don't think she's judging a book by its cover.

If a guy doesn't have the guts or the confidence to talk or ask out a girl... that has nothing to do with outside appearances... it shows a lack of character, confidence, personal comfort with your own identity... that stuff is all on the inside.

If he had the guts to do what he wants.. then maybe he'd be worth dating.

OK, but if a woman doesn't have the guts to ask a man out, then does she show a similar lack of character? A guy who wants a woman with that kind of guts is pretty much SOL.

I'm not unrealistic about this. I just wonder why people adhere to these outdated -- and somewhat arbitrary -- standards. I see so many women who sit around and pine for some guy instead of taking the initiative, and wonder why they put themselves through that.

 

[aloofman]

it means that the rest of the losers are around me are pissing and wining about being alone and leaving me with an abundance of available women.

I should hang out with you. Since we're interested in the opposite kind of women, we would be showing each other which women not to hit on.

 

[davefan6435]

But because she was drunk she didn’t have a problem with then going off with three of my drunk friends and [edited out of family forum]. Needless to say she had a hard time combing her hair the next morning.

I definitly know some people like that, it bugs the crap out of me. It's always the nice guys that get screwed over in high school and all the jerkoffs get the girls.

 

[cr2sh]

OK, but if a woman doesn't have the guts to ask a man out, then does she show a similar lack of character?

Yes... absolutely. She sucks too.

There is no double standard here... its a flaw no matter the gender in which is resides.

My point is, contrary to THE previous statement, it has nothing to do with judging a book by its cover or being shallow... I think someone was rather rude to someoneelse and it was uncalled for.

 

[aloofman]

My point is, contrary to your previous statement, it has nothing to do with judging a book by its cover or being shallow... I think you were rather rude to her and it was uncalled for.

That was Stella's statement, not mine. Although I did poke fun at the typo.

 

[cr2sh]

That was Stella's statement, not mine. Although I did poke fun at the typo.

Whatever... I'm late to this conversation, I can't be expected to sort out the who's who!



(edits post)

 

[Mechcozmo]

all i know is ---- the world is not fair and equal, and that's a good thing. it means that the rest of the losers are around me are pissing and wining about being alone and leaving me with an abundance of available women.

That's why we have people who Think Different.

 

[0098386]

I have a similar story but its a little more compressed.
During Year 8-9 I started to get interested in girls. Only I thought none of them liked me. Then I'm Year 11 and I find out that a few girls who used to try and spread rumours, anything to get me into trouble really used to fancy me back then! I was a little amazed.
I always thought the girls were unapproachable. Turns out they didn't want to approach me as I was so confident and that! Nevermind. I left school only having 1 real girlfriend but she changed my life for the better so I'm very grateful for that.
Left school, first day met Caroline (girl of my dreams, literally! but thats another story) and we've been going out for 4 years this November.

 

[vniow]

That's why we have people who Think Different.

No wonder I'm so picky.

 

[revenuee]

You sound like you would get along famously with my ex-girlfriend.

probably, i get along with almost all women. I adore them. Some disagree with me, some think i'm a pompous ass and arrogant. Others think i'm enlightened, charming, fun.

But they all agree on one thing, I AM REAL. i don't lie, i don't use cheap tricks to get into women's pants, I live my life the way i like, and they either come for the ride or they don't, some like it and remain in my life, others don't.

in my world there is no such thing as the double standard. i don't care how many people a girl has slept with, that's irrellevent to me.

TO THE GUYS, talking about girls asking them out. Having a girl ask you out is completely something to do with you,

Are you approachable?
Are you fun to be around?
Do you radiate warmth?

"picking up" someone is all about the mating dance.

i know we talk about love, and relationships; but in the end the whole idea of being with someone is sex, well the result of sex.

Yes, sex is fun, it feels great ... but it's purpose is for the result to be an offspring. THAT'S attraction.

you can't fight instinct, that's something you've been born with. sure we have social conditioning --- but in the end instinct wins.

why do great girls date jerks? cause they have strong traits and strong qualities that are desirable to be passed on.

guys get asked out all the time ... tonight i went out with a girl for coffee that asked me out.

this happens, happens to me, happens to my friends.

my experience in dating is only hetero, homosexual dating is foreign to me so if you are gay and disagree with me, remember, i'm talking hetero.

Women expect a men to be a men; strong, they need to feel like you will go after what you want, and you will succeed so that you can provide.

equality just means that we need to respect each other ...

equal pay? sure
equal job oppertunites? sure
equal basic human rights? sure

BUT we are not the same, the reason we need to respect each other is because we are different, and we need to feed off of each other, we need each other to compliment the strengths and weaknesses.

guys, stop hiding behind your walls of equality and go out and stop being afraid to be a man.

 

[sushi]

Every guy I've ever date asked me out or at least make the move first. If the guy who likes me never made a move then he is obiously either too shy or doesn't have enough confidence so what's the point of dating him anyway?

What's the point in dating him?

Well, if you were to check the background of successful folks you might find out that many were shy in their younger years. A diamond in the rough so to speak. You just need to know how to find them.

 

[takao]

probably, i get along with almost all women. I adore them. Some disagree with me, some think i'm a pompous ass and arrogant. Others think i'm enlightened, charming, fun.

well i think that's true for most men

But they all agree on one thing, I AM REAL. i don't lie, i don't use cheap tricks to get into women's pants, I live my life the way i like, and they either come for the ride or they don't, some like it and remain in my life, others don't.

well then you can consider yourself lucky ... from the people i know there was always some element involved into tricking the girl into finding the guy 'more' interesting in the beginning ... some more, some less

TO THE GUYS, talking about girls asking them out. Having a girl ask you out is completely something to do with you,

Are you approachable?
Are you fun to be around?
Do you radiate warmth?

"picking up" someone is all about the mating dance.

now i know why i'm not succesfull .. i don't like dancing
i agree though even when i'm not so sure about the last one (how do you radiate warmth ? )

i know we talk about love, and relationships; but in the end the whole idea of being with someone is sex, well the result of sex.

Yes, sex is fun, it feels great ... but it's purpose is for the result to be an offspring. THAT'S attraction.

you can't fight instinct, that's something you've been born with. sure we have social conditioning --- but in the end instinct wins.

why do great girls date jerks? cause they have strong traits and strong qualities that are desirable to be passed on.

while i'm not sure about instinct i would say "true" here as well.. humans have some instincts but they are far from being strong and varying from person to person ...

guys get asked out all the time ... tonight i went out with a girl for coffee that asked me out.

this happens, happens to me, happens to my friends.

"all the time" is perhaps the exaggeration of the week ... if true then online single things (how is that called in english ? the german term "börse" would be translated to "stock market" ) wouldn't be overfilled with men


i agree with the rest as well
personally i'm 22 and still have no ***** idea what i want in a girl ... and with asking girls out felt like throwing a 1000 sided dice so far (with 999 no and 1 yes) i stopped caring if i have a relationship or not
i'm happy that the valley of desperation was rather short for me

so now i'm off i have a lot things planned for today and i already wasted enough time reading this thread

 

[Abstract]

That attitude is a bit harsh.

I'm sorry you like to judge a book by its cover rather than the contents.

Very shadow indeed.

I don't think adroit is shallow at all when she says that. Being confident is a part of the contents.

Girls and boys are different. All this talk about "equality"........that "equality" is talking about your rights. Men and women are different. Accept the fact that this is true, and you'll be better off. People who complain about why girls don't do certain things even when things are supposed to be equal are wasting their time arguing about it. There's nothing to understand. It's just natural for girls to (generally) go after guys who have the balls and work up the courage to ask them out and possibly handle rejection. Men who wait for women to work up the courage to ask THEM out are not playing the odds at all.

Don't listen to people who say things like "Girls should ask guys out" for advice. They're the ones who end up single at 45.

 

[Les Kern]

Ah, so you are having second thoughts.

Our experiences define who we are. The path that you take defines where you end up. If you go back and take a different fork in the road, then you would have ended up differently.

Don't second guess yourself. We all do it occasionally. But don't.

But it's human nature... with a caviat.
I'm also in my late 20's (so late they begin with a damn FIVE) and it's been my experience that if one thinks about the past and how things "could have been different", means that the PRESENT is where this person is unhappy. Book it.
It's not even a matter of degrees. What I'm saying is that the casual thought about "whatever happened to Mary" is okay, but anything that attempts to re-write a possible history is not only futile but unhealthy. I totally agree that we are made up as a sum of our experiences.
I'd change nothing.

 

[whooleytoo]

I keep meeting girls I knew from school, college etc. when I was in my teens and early 20’s and get talking about the past etc. only to have them come out with stuff like “Oh I really fancied you back then”.

It pisses me off ‘cause I know how unhappy I was at that age with being single, although when I say this everyone who knew me says I was, am and always have been outwardly very happy.

Great story! You could be me! (Except.. it's not a "lot" of girls, just a few... and it's not me that's married, it's the girl who's telling me she used to fancy me...)

Great advice at the end though.

 

[whooleytoo]

I don't think adroit is shallow at all when she says that. Being confident is a part of the contents.

True, but suggesting someone who isn't confident isn't worth dating is superficial. Not superficial in terms of physical appearance, but in terms of judging a person by a superficial observation of their personality. You cannot know a person based solely on whether they are talkative or shy in that particular situation.

 

[revenuee]

well i think that's true for most men



well then you can consider yourself lucky ... from the people i know there was always some element involved into tricking the girl into finding the guy 'more' interesting in the beginning ... some more, some less

i have a friend that talks about tricks all the time. I just don't see the point. If you want to seem more interesting, then there is an easy way of doing it ... LIVE A MORE INTERESTING LIFE. Go out and DO the things that you see a person that you think is interesting do.

now i know why i'm not succesfull .. i don't like dancing
i agree though even when i'm not so sure about the last one (how do you radiate warmth ? )

warmth in your personality ... are you rigid? relaxed? are you happy? do you smile? -- these are all warm qualities ... and things women pick up on.

while i'm not sure about instinct i would say "true" here as well.. humans have some instincts but they are far from being strong and varying from person to person ...

People ignore instinct, they feel like they are ABOVE nature. why?

"all the time" is perhaps the exaggeration of the week ... if true then online single things (how is that called in english ? the german term "börse" would be translated to "stock market" ) wouldn't be overfilled with men

it happens all the time if you are someone people want to be around. If your fun people, not just women, will want to hang out with you.

i agree with the rest as well
personally i'm 22 and still have no ***** idea what i want in a girl ... and with asking girls out felt like throwing a 1000 sided dice so far (with 999 no and 1 yes) i stopped caring if i have a relationship or not
i'm happy that the valley of desperation was rather short for me

so now i'm off i have a lot things planned for today and i already wasted enough time reading this thread

It's important what you want and what you don't want, then you can pick those things, and if someone doesn't have them, you just disqualify them.

In my experience i've found that only 1 / 10 girls are girls that i can pursue anything long term. It's okay to be picky, you don't want to settle.

 

[floriflee]

Girls and boys are different. All this talk about "equality"........that "equality" is talking about your rights. Men and women are different. Accept the fact that this is true, and you'll be better off. People who complain about why girls don't do certain things even when things are supposed to be equal are wasting their time arguing about it.

I think all this talk of equality between men and women could be summed up with the Hebrew term "ezer kenegdo." In a sense, equal, but different. A good description of the term is found here, and I think it sums up a lot.

 

[aloofman]

In my experience i've found that only 1 / 10 girls are girls that i can pursue anything long term. It's okay to be picky, you don't want to settle.

Now this I can agree on. So many people want something or someone to blame when a relationship doesn't work or two people don't click on the first date. "What did I do wrong?" or whatever. You don't do anything wrong. Most of the time people just aren't compatible.

The worst is one people decide they haven't been on a date in a long time and settle instead. Dating for the sake of dating is just about the dumbest thing in the world.

 

[revenuee]

Dating for the sake of dating is just about the dumbest thing in the world.

well, i'm a serial dater --- i go out with lots of girls, regularly with no intent of pursuing a relationship, i just like people ... if we click GREAT, if we don't i just made a new friend.

 

[aloofman]

well, i'm a serial dater --- i go out with lots of girls, regularly with no intent of pursuing a relationship, i just like people ... if we click GREAT, if we don't i just made a new friend.

I like making new friends, but honestly, I barely meet enough date-worthy women as it is. In order to date significantly more, I'd have to lower my standards. And each time I've done that was a waste of time. That's what I mean by "dating for the sake of dating."

 

[pianodude123]

17years old and all the hot girls fancy me. So why am I mad?

Because I’m in my late 20’s(very late 20’s, so late they begin with a 3) and I’m married with kids.

I keep meeting girls I knew from school, college etc. when I was in my teens and early 20’s and get talking about the past etc. only to have them come out with stuff like “Oh I really fancied you back then”.

It pisses me off ‘cause I know how unhappy I was at that age with being single, although when I say this everyone who knew me says I was, am and always have been outwardly very happy.

In the last couple of years I’ve spoken with, or my friends have and relayed the stories to me, at least 7 old friends who wanted to be more than just friends.

Yesterday it was a girl, who I fancied back then too, who went out with my friend so she could spend time with me. Of course I never made the move she was waiting for because she was with my friend. After a few weeks she dumped him but I still didn't make any move 'cause that would've hurt my friend at the time.

Why didn’t they tell me/ask me out then? And even more annoying why did some of the ones I asked out then turn me down?

Apparently it would seem my friends got all the action ‘cause they drank while I didn’t and that meant that they could blame any embarrassing encounters on the booze the next day when things didn’t work out.

[/rant]

The point of this thread is to advise our younger members who are desperately trying to start relationships that, if you like someone TELL THEM. What’s the worst that could happen?

You might want to consider drinking within reason too, the hot chicks love it!

...grass is always greener...

 

[revenuee]

I like making new friends, but honestly, I barely meet enough date-worthy women as it is. In order to date significantly more, I'd have to lower my standards. And each time I've done that was a waste of time. That's what I mean by "dating for the sake of dating."

I also date a lot because most girls don't like that i'm really busy IF i'm in a relationship it ends because i'm "TOO BUSY"

there are lots of datable women around ... you just have to open your eyes ... or start going out to places were they are ... UNLESS you live in the middle of no where ... i meet women everywhere ... class, bus, parking lots, grocery stores, banks, on the street ... whatever