A guy killed himself in my back yard tonight...

cr2sh

macrumors 68030
Original poster
May 28, 2002
2,554
3
downtown
My girlfriend and I purchased a house about 2 months ago, closing July 3rd. We've been doing extensive remodeling on it but began moving in just this weekend. We've spent exactly two nights in the house so far...

Tonight we were over at the old apartment getting the very last of our things. It turned out to be a lot more than we expected, so we were over at the apt. until about 11:40.

As we were walking out... a huge owl swooped down, landed in a tree just 30 feet from us and sat there. I commented how freaking weird it was... we kissed and parted, she was going to drop off the keys and I was going to get a soda on the way back to the house.

When I got back to the house I turned left into the alley and down to the backdrive... as I pulled in I saw a man, looked to be kneeling in my back yard... next to where the swing used to be.. and rope, still was.

I froze. It crossed my mind. Is this a suicide. The figured looked to be kneeling.. I put the car in reverse and started backing up... I honked my horn, put on my brights and sat... thinking he'd get up and run away. He didn't.

I backed up more... not having my cell phone. Wondering if my girlfriend had beat me home, found this and left... I sat there.. not knowing what to do... too affraid to get out of the car.

Lights came from the north alley.. and I got out and walked towards them... it was Kelly. From where she parked she couldn't see anything... I said:

"There's something wrong. There's someone in our back yard... I think, he's hanging there."

She said she'd never seen this look on my face before... everything in my body was screaming. I had no way to defend us.... I had no idea what was going on... it looked like a halloween dummy.

"Call 911." I said.

Five minutes later I ran down the alley to the street and flagged down a cruiser.. he beamed his light on me and I sprinted back up the alley. He followed and when we reached the yard he got out and asked "Where is he?" I pointed and he exited his car, drew his gun.. and walked forward.

He came back and asked "Do you know him?" I skipped the answer and asked "Is he dead?" he knodded, almost laughingly and said "Yeh... he's dead."

I won't get into the details of who he was... or why he was there, but I'd never met him or seen him or knew him... and tonight, he hung himself in my backyard.

I've never heard Kelly scream like that before. She was screaming and crying and asking what was going on and why... I have never seen anything this ****ed up in my life. We are shocked. We're at her parents tonight... canceled my travel plans for the rest of the week and settling in for the strangest night I hope to ever live.... this was very, very bad.

The news pulled up out front, won't make it though.. nor the paper... the firemen cut the rope from the tree. The cinder block he jumped from I picked up myself.. and carried back tothe rubbish pile.

The questions are.. what would have happened if we'd been there? Would it have still happened.. would he have done something to us. Was the owl a symbol... and why do this to someone you've never met. Or yourself.

Ugh... its so ****ing messed up.
 

Lacero

macrumors 604
Jan 20, 2005
6,639
2
That's a pretty freaky, surreal experience. :eek: The whole owl thing is a bit scary.
 
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DeSnousa

macrumors 68000
Jan 20, 2005
1,616
0
Brisbane, Australia
Im sorry to hear that. That is freaky as, sorry you had to deal with it. Don't worry even if you were there it would of not stopped him from... well you know. Your not to put yourself to blame. Just take care of yourself and your girlfriend. :)
 
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Omen88

macrumors regular
Jan 8, 2002
177
0
Flanders (Belgium)
That's really low to go doing something like that at other people's house. I don't think you could have prevented it, he probably would have done it somewhere else then.

My sympathies for you. That's really messed up.
 
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mad jew

Moderator emeritus
Apr 3, 2004
32,191
5
Adelaide, Australia
You've gotta be messed up to kill yourself. You've gotta be really messed up to do it so selfishly in some poor person's backyard.


cr2sh said:
The questions are.. what would have happened if we'd been there? Would it have still happened.. would he have done something to us

I don't think you can worry about this too much. Certainly don't start blaming yourself. Someone this messed up was going to kill themselves eventually, irrespective of if you'd have managed to talk them out of it for that night. I'm just sorry it happened to be in your backyard.
 
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Abstract

macrumors Penryn
Dec 27, 2002
24,415
124
Location Location Location
Lacero said:
That's a pretty freaky, surreal experience. :eek: The whole owl thing is a bit scary.
The owl? I think you should read the rest of the story. It gets scarier. ;)


Somehow, I don't think it was a coincidence that he picked your backyard. Was he a previous owner? A potential buyer who wanted the house really (really really) badly?

If he were to hang himself, why your backyard? Some important info is missing from the story.
 
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Applespider

macrumors G4
cr2sh said:
The questions are.. what would have happened if we'd been there? Would it have still happened.. would he have done something to us. Was the owl a symbol... and why do this to someone you've never met. Or yourself.
How horrible for you and your girlfriend!

He probably wouldn't have done it in your backyard if you'd still been living there; the lights and possible discovery would likely have put him off - not from suicide but from that particular spot. If you'd come across him just before he did it, he'd have been unlikely to do anything to you. His mind was most likely focused on one thing - his desire to kill himself, no-one else. He saw the rope, the tree and the cinderblock and he had the method he needed.

When people are disturbed enough to kill themselves, they are not thinking about anyone else. Their troubles and problems fill their mind so much that they honestly believe they can't go on. I'm immensely grateful that I've never felt bad enough that I can even imagine that state of mind. They want to achieve death - the impact on those who find them doesn't even cross their mind from what failed suicide victims say.

The owl was a coincidence.
 
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swy32x

macrumors regular
Mar 20, 2005
170
0
Wow, dude, I am so sorry for you :(

That's shocking, and it's horrible that you and your girlfriend had to experience that - my thoughts go out to you.
 
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Lacero

macrumors 604
Jan 20, 2005
6,639
2
Applespider said:
The owl was a coincidence.
From Wikipedia: "In Japanese culture, the bird is a symbol of death and seeing one is considered a bad omen. The same is true in Italian and Romanian culture, where the mournful call of an owl predicts the death of somebody living in the neighbourhood."


Wikipedia on Owls
 
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Applespider

macrumors G4
Lacero said:
From Wikipedia: "In Japanese culture, the bird is a symbol of death and seeing one is considered a bad omen. The same is true in Italian and Romanian culture, where the mournful call of an owl predicts the death of somebody living in the neighbourhood."
I know. My grandmother (Italian) would have seen it as an omen along with many other things. However, not being particularly superstitious, I think it was a coincidence unless he's never ever seen an owl anywhere in his neighbourhood in the past.
 
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stubeeef

macrumors 68030
Aug 10, 2004
2,702
2
Surreal is the best description to me.

Just remember, it is not YOUR fault, you were trying to protect your wife AND help. I know you know this logically, but searching for a reason, becareful with your subconscience.

I am sorry this happened at your new home.
 
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4409723

Suspended
Jun 22, 2001
2,222
0
Creepy stuff. Must have been a real shock to discover the body yourself. The worst I've ever seen is the police pulling a body out of the Thames in front of my flat. Appeared to be another suicide.
 
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jimN

macrumors 6502a
Jun 23, 2005
934
10
London
Without wanting to sound a bit harsh - why didn't you check on the guy. He might not have been dead when you first saw him. If the fall is only small then it is asphyixation (which i must have spelt wrong) that kills a person, not a quick way of doing things. A commited suicider doesn't normally take the risk of being found maybe he was hoping someone would intervene.

I appreciate that the reality of these things is that it isn't always that easy to do the 'right' thing even when you would like to believe that you could.
 
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eva01

macrumors 601
Feb 22, 2005
4,715
0
Gah! Plymouth
I love the cops response of basically laughing and saying yes, would be something i would say as well ^^. Maybe thats just because i have done two autopsies and cut open dead bodies before. But i think its cool to see dead people, not that the kill themselves. I would have been very intriguied in seeing the dead person and examining what happened to him when he did it, and just seeing if he was in rigor mortice or anything of the sort.


*is going to be a pathologist*
 
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eva01

macrumors 601
Feb 22, 2005
4,715
0
Gah! Plymouth
mad jew said:
It's suicide. :confused:
I changed my post, and was in the middle of it when a patient came in so it took time to edit it :p i didn't mean the suicide was cool, i just mean the fact of being able to examine a dead person is cool.
 
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mad jew

Moderator emeritus
Apr 3, 2004
32,191
5
Adelaide, Australia
It's okay. I didn't think you were talking about the suicide part, that's why I used the confused smiley (not that it really smiles, but hey...). Thanks for clearing that up all the same. :)
 
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MacDawg

macrumors Core
Mar 20, 2004
19,824
4,503
"Between the Hedges"
Quite a story... if you are up to it later I think many of us would like to hear any other details you can give to clear up some of the questions.

Regardless, its a horrible experience for you, and one you will never get over. My heart goes out to you.

Woof, Woof - Dawg
 
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zelmo

macrumors 603
Jul 3, 2004
5,490
1
Mac since 7.5
Wow. What an horrific experience to start off life in your new home with. Shame the guy thought this was his only way out, and that he picked your yard for his final act of desperation. I hope you and your girlfriend recover from the experience and don't allow it to sour you on your new place. Like several others have said, you have no reason to feel guilty about this. Your first instinct was for your girlfriend's safety.
 
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MacDawg

macrumors Core
Mar 20, 2004
19,824
4,503
"Between the Hedges"
eva01 said:
*is going to be a pathologist*
Was going to do the same myself, but that was 30 years ago... wanted to be a criminal pathologist, much like what you see on CSI these days, although 30 years ago it was quite different.

Good luck with the career.

<Sorry, didn't mean to get off track here>

As far as the suicide is concerned, I hope there is closure on this issue for all involved. Quite a trauma to experience.
 
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eva01

macrumors 601
Feb 22, 2005
4,715
0
Gah! Plymouth
yeah especially not suicide. I had my best friend in HS actually hang himself during his first year in college.
 
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jimN

macrumors 6502a
Jun 23, 2005
934
10
London
eva01 said:
i didn't mean the suicide was cool, i just mean the fact of being able to examine a dead person is cool.
Not sure how one gets to feel that examining dead people is cool, i prefer to let sleeping dogs lie and i prefer my patients awake - they seem a bit more interestign that way.
 
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eva01

macrumors 601
Feb 22, 2005
4,715
0
Gah! Plymouth
jimN said:
Not sure how one gets to feel that examining dead people is cool, i prefer to let sleeping dogs lie and i prefer my patients awake - they seem a bit more interestign that way.
I volunteered in pathology lab for 4 years work in the lab, and am going to make my living on dissecting dead people and specimens.

I have to think its cool or i am going into the wrong profession :p
 
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