Sorry for this terrible event, cr2sh.
I hope you guys can move beyond it very fast and the memories fade quickly.
I hope you guys can move beyond it very fast and the memories fade quickly.
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A guy killed himself in my back yard tonight...
- Thread starter cr2sh
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As has been said before, don't feel any guilt over this and don't let it bother you too much. Your lives will go on and you don't want to waste a second of them over this guy, he almost certainly didn't do this to spite you or anybody else.
I know what you mean. When I was in my late teens one winter I was out with some friends and came across a large group of kids and teenagers fooling around in the snow about 11pm one night.
Some were just hanging out others throwing snowballs and some were grabbing the bumpers of the slow moving cars and 'skiing' behind them.
The gritting lorries were out and the kids were grabbing on to get towed. The same lorry went round a few times and on at least one pass stopped and told the kids not to and chased them off.
On a later pass a couple of these teenagers went under the lorry's wheels, one had both legs crushed and the other had the wheels go over his head.
I was only a few feet away on the side walk and heard a pop. It was like stamping on a tube of toothpaste.
In the snow and cold air it left this surreal scene of a corpse with the top of its head missing, leaving a void I could stare into with steam streaming out of it. A spray of red blood on the snow with a lump of brain matter and scalp about six foot from the body.
Gruesome but cool. Dont get me wrong I was sorry for the guy and his family etc. but I feel no guilt in finding the situation fascinating, although cool might be the wrong choice of word.
Anyway peoples reactions were mostly lots of weeping and moving away etc. while one of my friends turned to us as we looked at the body and just said He wont be needing those trainers now will he? It broke the mood and the four of us just laughed, which probably looked a little callous as the emergency services arrived to clean up.
I honestly thought the worst part was that while they were cleaning up the aftermath the gritting lorry came up for another pass not knowing hed just killed a kid. He was in no way to blame but was probably effect the worst emotionally.
Edit:I should point out there was a running joke that my friend only had one pair of shoes and was out in the snow in his black leather dress shoes but we never took the trainers.....wrong size! I'm kidding.
eva01 said:
I know what you mean. When I was in my late teens one winter I was out with some friends and came across a large group of kids and teenagers fooling around in the snow about 11pm one night.
Some were just hanging out others throwing snowballs and some were grabbing the bumpers of the slow moving cars and 'skiing' behind them.
The gritting lorries were out and the kids were grabbing on to get towed. The same lorry went round a few times and on at least one pass stopped and told the kids not to and chased them off.
On a later pass a couple of these teenagers went under the lorry's wheels, one had both legs crushed and the other had the wheels go over his head.
I was only a few feet away on the side walk and heard a pop. It was like stamping on a tube of toothpaste.
In the snow and cold air it left this surreal scene of a corpse with the top of its head missing, leaving a void I could stare into with steam streaming out of it. A spray of red blood on the snow with a lump of brain matter and scalp about six foot from the body.
Gruesome but cool. Dont get me wrong I was sorry for the guy and his family etc. but I feel no guilt in finding the situation fascinating, although cool might be the wrong choice of word.
Anyway peoples reactions were mostly lots of weeping and moving away etc. while one of my friends turned to us as we looked at the body and just said He wont be needing those trainers now will he? It broke the mood and the four of us just laughed, which probably looked a little callous as the emergency services arrived to clean up.
I honestly thought the worst part was that while they were cleaning up the aftermath the gritting lorry came up for another pass not knowing hed just killed a kid. He was in no way to blame but was probably effect the worst emotionally.
Edit:I should point out there was a running joke that my friend only had one pair of shoes and was out in the snow in his black leather dress shoes but we never took the trainers.....wrong size! I'm kidding.
Each to their own i guess but like i said, i prefer to interact with teh living. My time spent with the dead is usually just long enough to determine that they are dead and that's it, job done. Dissection never bothered me but i see no attraction in doing it for a living.
That is messed up - I can only imagine what it may have been like, as I've never experienced anything like that.
Hopefully you won't let this sour your new purchase - it was a coincidence that has no bearing on you or your home. While you won't be able to forget, you can at least put it into perspective and move on. This poor guy was going to go one way or another.
And you did the right thing in protecting your girlfriend and calling 911. Even if the guy had been alive, which is doubtful considering he wasn't moving or anything, "saving" him could have put both of you in danger.
I hate to sound like "Dear Abby" or something, but you may want to consider talking to a counselor of some sort. While this wasn't a direct loss for you, it could still have considerable impact. Just a thought.
Hopefully you won't let this sour your new purchase - it was a coincidence that has no bearing on you or your home. While you won't be able to forget, you can at least put it into perspective and move on. This poor guy was going to go one way or another.
And you did the right thing in protecting your girlfriend and calling 911. Even if the guy had been alive, which is doubtful considering he wasn't moving or anything, "saving" him could have put both of you in danger.
I hate to sound like "Dear Abby" or something, but you may want to consider talking to a counselor of some sort. While this wasn't a direct loss for you, it could still have considerable impact. Just a thought.
I can't fault cr2sh for not going to check on the guy. If I pulled up to my house at close-to-midnight and saw a stranger crouched down in my backyard, I think it's safe to say that I'd be frozen to my seat too. Adrenaline city.jimN said:
Sorry to hear about this, cr2sh. I hope that you and your girlfriend can put this behind you and enjoy the new place.
That is shocking!
You'll never going to forget that event. At one point in life, it might change your life. Say if for some reason you wanted to kill your self (your wife/GF left you, you got fired, bunches of bills, no money, etc), you could just remember vividly the guy hanging in your back yard.
Scary stuff. I almost bought this house a long time ago. I didn't and later I found out that one of the previous owners of it had hung himself or someone in the basement. I'm glad I didn't move there.
You'll never going to forget that event. At one point in life, it might change your life. Say if for some reason you wanted to kill your self (your wife/GF left you, you got fired, bunches of bills, no money, etc), you could just remember vividly the guy hanging in your back yard.
Scary stuff. I almost bought this house a long time ago. I didn't and later I found out that one of the previous owners of it had hung himself or someone in the basement. I'm glad I didn't move there.
Not sure if this law applies to your state or not, but my bf's mom (a realtor) says that you have to legally declare any death that occured on a property when trying to sell it, if the incident occured w/in the last 5 (?) years...gwuMACaddict said:
cr2sh, I'm sorry this happened to you and your gf. I agree w/ other posters... you are in no way at fault and you did the right thing to avoid that man and to turn back to check on your gf and call 911 from a safer distance.
Lacero said:
Actually, you are in no position to make that comment. How each person reacts to a tragic and stressful situation is personal to them.
I have seen hundreds of dead bodies over the years at work. Sure, if I want I can recall them... but none of them have, nor will, "stayed with me".
What has happened to the original poster is sad, but there are a couple of very significant points to make:
1) It was not in any way his fault. When a person reaches the point of suicide, they ARE going to do it, the only points in question are the logistics. Someone mentioned above, but suicide victims usually aren't overly concerned about others at that very tragic point in their lives (though some are). They usually are so despondent that they simply find a location and opportunity to commit suicide and do it.
This guy may have simply wandered around, found a dark yard, with no lights on in the house, found a piece of rope, etc and did the final deed.
It was not personal, and most likely had NOTHING to do with the original poster. Just a bad coincidence that it occurred in his yard.
2) You did NOTHING wrong. If you came home in the dark, found someone in your backyard, and knew your girlfriend was coming home behind you then you did the correct thing... protected your family and called the police.
To the original poster:
Time is an amazing thing.... it does heal. Don't let this be something scary that traumatizes and scares you and your girlfriend. Just realize the sadness of another human being committing suicide. The fact that it was in your yard was not in your control, and it doesn't mean that something like this will ever happen again.
Don't be afraid. Grieve the loss of life, and move forward being thankful for what you have in life.
Cheers,
James
Absolutely aweful. I'm sorry to hear about this traumatic experience that's happened to you. As others have said, try to move on and realize you couldn't have stopped this guy, he most likely would have done it elsewhere if you did.
I hope you can sleep, and start having "normal" days again so, both you and your girlfriend.
I hope you can sleep, and start having "normal" days again so, both you and your girlfriend.
Apparently the guy has a criminal drug related history.. and he's a relative of my neighbors.... he stopped by looking for money and they wouldn't give it to him.
My yard was there to help him prove a point.
We fell alseep around 7 this morning.. and just got back up.
To the poster that commented I should have checked on him.... it was midnight. I was there alone.. and some freak is knealing in my backyard. I had no way to protect myelf.. and I wasn't going any closer to see what he was doing.
Wow.. very creepy. The wikipedia link to the owl thing floored both of us. Just shocking....
My yard was there to help him prove a point.
We fell alseep around 7 this morning.. and just got back up.
To the poster that commented I should have checked on him.... it was midnight. I was there alone.. and some freak is knealing in my backyard. I had no way to protect myelf.. and I wasn't going any closer to see what he was doing.
Wow.. very creepy. The wikipedia link to the owl thing floored both of us. Just shocking....
Sorry to hear that the both of you had to go through that traumatic event like that.
And as for how you handled the situation (staying back and calling the police) is perfectly reasonable and smart thing to do. That was the right thing for you to do IMO.
I went through that same feeling of adrenaline rush of seeing someone who you don't know on your own property lying on the front steps.
I hope that as time passes the both of you can recover from that event and move on.
And as for how you handled the situation (staying back and calling the police) is perfectly reasonable and smart thing to do. That was the right thing for you to do IMO.
I went through that same feeling of adrenaline rush of seeing someone who you don't know on your own property lying on the front steps.
I hope that as time passes the both of you can recover from that event and move on.
Ditto - I have been in that very dark place several times in life. Trust me, when you're committed to killing yourself, no-one can stop you and you don't care about anyone.Applespider said:
Take care of yourself and your girlfriend - it's a bitch to watch someone die from something like AIDS or cancer, but even more so when they're physically healthy and taking their own life. Maybe you and she should talk to someone, a therapist or friend, to try and process the experience together so you're both not left with unresolved trauma.
Owl was a coincidence - had it been a crow, I might think differently. Although birds in general are thought to have been the bearers of souls to the afterlife in several cultures, so then again, maybe it wasn't a coincidence.
Very sorry, take some time out for yourselves...
Not trying to be tasteless and unsympathetic, so please excuse my callousness:
--How come there is not even a small byline somewhere in your local paper or some mention of it online? As someone who was a firefighter/paramedic for years before going into graphic design and marketing there is always at least a small entry in the obits or the crimelogs that most newspapers run. A link or blurb would help verify this story.
--The story just seems a little too pat and detailed, phrases like "everything in my body was screaming" is a little bit too polished, I have taken many, many reports at accident and emergency scenes, many where crimes have been committed and this whole story just doesn't ring true. I know I will probably be widely condemned for insensitivity but the whole part about the owl while leaving the apartment just seems made up.
--Also the part where the policeman "almost laughingly" tells him he is dead, really rings false, I have worked closely with law enforcement at accident scenes many, many times and have never, ever seen them act so unprofessionally or take such a casual attitude about a suicide or someone elses death at an accident scene.
--"Flagged down a cruiser"? Was 911 called, was EMS enroute? Or are you saying you ran out into a street nearby and a cop happened to be driving by and you flagged him down?
--No offense intended, just some parts of this story seem created. I am doomed to forever be a skeptic and a cynic.
--How come there is not even a small byline somewhere in your local paper or some mention of it online? As someone who was a firefighter/paramedic for years before going into graphic design and marketing there is always at least a small entry in the obits or the crimelogs that most newspapers run. A link or blurb would help verify this story.
--The story just seems a little too pat and detailed, phrases like "everything in my body was screaming" is a little bit too polished, I have taken many, many reports at accident and emergency scenes, many where crimes have been committed and this whole story just doesn't ring true. I know I will probably be widely condemned for insensitivity but the whole part about the owl while leaving the apartment just seems made up.
--Also the part where the policeman "almost laughingly" tells him he is dead, really rings false, I have worked closely with law enforcement at accident scenes many, many times and have never, ever seen them act so unprofessionally or take such a casual attitude about a suicide or someone elses death at an accident scene.
--"Flagged down a cruiser"? Was 911 called, was EMS enroute? Or are you saying you ran out into a street nearby and a cop happened to be driving by and you flagged him down?
--No offense intended, just some parts of this story seem created. I am doomed to forever be a skeptic and a cynic.
highres said:
I know when i become a Dr i will be joking around like that since all my patients will be dead. Heck i even think i did with the Dr while i was doing the two autopsies, i think we were both joking around and being extremely casual about it.
For those with queezy don't read. highlight over to read
We were talking about how parts of the body were related to foods and how the persons brain cut like a loaf of bread. And we were talking about the red sox and patriots during it and everything else.
so i think you have no right to criticize the story
because i know paramedics that joke around like that all the time
damn that sucks dude seriously. Yea I would have been ao frozen i probably wouldnt be moving at all.
as for what highres said now mister, did you really think that they (as in police officers, paramedics and so on) were going to be so serious 24/7? I mean if they did that would be one sad life they have.
as for what highres said now mister, did you really think that they (as in police officers, paramedics and so on) were going to be so serious 24/7? I mean if they did that would be one sad life they have.
eva01 said:
--Working with cadavers in a lab environment and responding to the scene of a suicide and dealing with victims are completely different. Joking around at the scene would be totally inappropriate.
--"When" you become a doctor your attitude might change.
--Like I said I was a medic for many years and there might have been some joking around back at the sub station, but never "on-scene" with victims around, that is just plain unprofessional. Also since most medics work 4 days on and 3 off there is no need to be "serious" 24 hrs a day.
--I wasn't "criticisizing" the post, merely voicing my opinion which I stated truthfully. When someone posts something on an internet blog or forum it seems quite natural that not everyone might believe the post and would possibly have questions or be skeptical. Many untruthful statements are posted on the internet and MR's all the time.
highres said:
If this were somewhere in a large city I would imagine a policeman might not be completely in schock to see someone lying dead on the ground.