Advice about a girl

Discussion in 'Community Discussion' started by Hold, Jun 6, 2011.

  1. Hold, Jun 6, 2011
    Last edited: Jun 25, 2011
  2. -aggie- macrumors P6

    -aggie-

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    #2
    Simple. You say you’re interested, ask her out, and if she says she has a boyfriend, politely excuse yourself and go on from there. Why would she avoid someone that likes her, just because she’s attached?

    To be young again….
     
  3. Hold, Jun 6, 2011
    Last edited: Jun 25, 2011

    Hold thread starter macrumors regular

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  4. r1ch4rd macrumors 6502a

    r1ch4rd

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    #4
    If you ask her out and she says she has a boyfriend, things may be a little awkward for a day or two, but it will get back to normal.

    Dating someone you work with? That's a tricky one. I've done it and I am certainly glad we don't work closely together (we aren't together any more). I don't regret it though.
     
  5. -aggie- macrumors P6

    -aggie-

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    #5
    And if you do nothing, you can never know. Life is about risks. Have fun.
     
  6. Liquorpuki macrumors 68020

    Liquorpuki

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    #6
    Ask them anyway. Who cares if they tell her. They'd probably be doing you a favor if they did.

    Otherwise tell her you got feelings for her (without being wierd). If she likes you, you're good. If she doesn't, you can move on with your life
     
  7. Hold, Jun 6, 2011
    Last edited: Jun 25, 2011

    Hold thread starter macrumors regular

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  8. Gasu E., Jun 6, 2011
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 7, 2011

    Gasu E. macrumors 601

    Gasu E.

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    #8
    If you work with her, tell her you are going out for lunch or a drink after work and ask if she would like to join you. It's not a "date." At lunch/drink, talk about politics, art, movies, i.e., your "interests", but sprinkle with enough personal stuff to give her an opening to add some personal stuff of her own. Chances are she will read the scene and give you enough information to go from there. At the end, you can say "this was fun, why don't we do it again"; if she wants to pick up on it she will give you a more or less concrete suggestion as to what to do next.

    Oh sorry, didn't see that part. If you are going to "wait a few months" you should not even try to find out whether she likes you right now. Just chill until you are ready to acgt. You cannot make any kind of first move now and then follow up a few months later!!!! Talk about awkward!!! You cannot reserve girls for later like library books.
     
  9. velocityg4 macrumors 68040

    velocityg4

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    #9
    Just ask her out. It really is no big deal, although it may seem so to you at the moment. If you don't ask her out you will always regret it.

    If you do ask her out and she says no or that she is attached you can move on and stop obsessing. Just casually ask her to dinner. Don't get all weird and emotional about it as that can scare her off.

    If she makes some non-committal answer about being busy the night you ask her. Press for a committed answer answer by asking when.

    Instead of playing a weak hand like saying "Would you like to go out to dinner on so and so." Go for a stronger approach such as "I would like to take you to dinner. When will you be available?". Then the ball is placed squarely in her court to say yes or no. Rather than try to delay or avoid the issue.

    If she says she has a boyfriend and you still want to pursue ask her if she intends to marry him otherwise she should continue to date others until both sides are engaged for marriage.
     
  10. Mousse macrumors 68000

    Mousse

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    #10
    Go for broke, bub. A little workplace awkwardness is preferable to a regret or angst.

    For of all sad words of tongue or pen,
    The saddest are these: "It might have been!"
    (from Maud Muller, by John Whittier)

    Even if things do work out, one of you will have to quit. Working with someone you're dating will be awkward anyways.
     
  11. Liquorpuki macrumors 68020

    Liquorpuki

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    #11
    I bet she'll have a new boyfriend by then
     
  12. heehee macrumors 68020

    heehee

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    #12
    Just ask her out. Don't over analyze things. If you analyze every little thing, you'll miss out on a lot of things.

    Ask her out to dinner, if she's interested, she'll say yes. No need to guess.
     
  13. OutThere macrumors 603

    OutThere

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    #13
    You spend a few hours a day with her...so make some smalltalk! I always chat with my coworkers, you learn about the people you're talking to as well as other people in the office, and it makes the day feel shorter. Don't wait.
     
  14. Apple OC macrumors 68040

    Apple OC

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    #14
    ask her to hit the Bar for a drink after work ... if she says yes you will know if you should continue to the next stage.

    Be friends first and do not let her know about your feelings yet ... if things are meant to be she will send you a signal
     
  15. iJohnHenry macrumors P6

    iJohnHenry

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    #15
    I think she already has, but your way is safer.
     
  16. Annerz macrumors regular

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    #16
    If you're scared that it'll be awkward don't ask if she has a boyfriend, or ask her out but you should tell her how you feel.
     
  17. lewis82 macrumors 68000

    lewis82

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    #17
    This. I had this happen too many times :(
     
  18. Abstract macrumors Penryn

    Abstract

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    #18
    IF you don't ask her, then seeing her everyday will only make it awkward for you, your head, your heart, and your pants. :p


    If she says no, then don't worry too much about it. Like others have said, things will settle down.


    You said yesterday, a "friend of her friend" asked if you had a girlfriend. If it was her own friend that asked, I would have assumed that her friend already knew that you had a crush on her, and the girl you like probably knows as well. If she hasn't given you any clues, then you may be out of luck. Lucky for you, it was only a friend of a friend who asked, and so perhaps this was just a random event. That, or the girl who asked you has a friend who likes you. ;)
     
  19. ejb190 macrumors 65816

    ejb190

    #19
    Threads like this make me glad I didn't have to figure out if she liked me or not. I married the lady who stalked me for four years!
     
  20. Hold, Jun 7, 2011
    Last edited: Jun 25, 2011

    Hold thread starter macrumors regular

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  21. wpotere Guest

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    #21
    I'll buck the system here and say move on. There is one rule that I used to live by and that is to not date a co-worker. I can't tell you how many times that I have seen people leave a job because it got awkward after things didn't work out. My advice, deal with your infatuation move on.
     
  22. Hold, Jun 7, 2011
    Last edited: Jun 25, 2011

    Hold thread starter macrumors regular

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  23. Heilage macrumors 68030

    Heilage

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    #23
    I'll give you the same advice my dad gave me. Don't dip your pen in company ink.
     
  24. wpotere Guest

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    #24
    Then I would strike up a friendship and wait.
     
  25. Hold, Jun 7, 2011
    Last edited: Jun 25, 2011

    Hold thread starter macrumors regular

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