Either that or try to get a new job which isn't easy nowadays. Besides, that shiny new infatuation will wear off pretty quick anyways. 🙂
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Either that or try to get a new job which isn't easy nowadays. Besides, that shiny new infatuation will wear off pretty quick anyways. 🙂
laurenr
macrumors 6502a
If he asks her out on a date, and is rejected, this would hardly cause a mature individual to quit a job surely? If every man who was turned down on a date in the work place had to quit because of it.........I cannot even imagine.😱
The infatuation is hardly "shiny new" seeing as it has occupied so much emotional energy for almost an entire year.
Just sayin'...........😛
Seen it happen numerous times. Especially when someone is really wanting it to happen. I have even seen it turn into a sexual harassment case.
It is from not having what he wants. Once he gets it that will wear off and what is left will define the relationship. Dr Phil, just sayin.... 😛
laurenr
macrumors 6502a
Oh you are just to funny!😀 But I am optimistic you see, and always look for the positive possibilities, especially when they could be life-altering. My Husband and I are the perfect example of just such a scenario. He often tells me how he "crushed" on my from afar for more than a year before we actually ever spoke (I was blissfully ignorant🙄).......and here we are happily married for more years than I can count......just think what we could have missed out on.😱
He ended up moving away, came to the USA actually, far, far away from where we met.(I was born and raised in South Africa). Now, just think of him disappearing forever, and us never having got together.....🙁
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Trust me, I understand what you are saying and if this wasn't a work related crush I would be all for asking the person out. If it is meant to be then it will happen but I hate to say that right now it is easier to find a girlfriend then a job. I am a very optimistic person but there are boundaries that you simply don't cross, especially at work. If he likes his job he should consider simply finding someone else.
I have been down this road and so wish that I would have just ignored the gut saying "you need her" and moved on. I was young and stupid as well as in a job that I couldn't quit (US Army) so my break up lasted over a year until I was moved to a new unit. I learned the hard way and would hate to see someone go through this as it really messed up both of us. As for my current wife of 16 years, well, that was the meant to be one just like yours. 😉
KnightWRX
macrumors Pentium
Friend zone, it's already too late. If you haven't already made a move by now, she probably thinks you're gay or completely uninterested and she's moved on.
Really, how hard is it to go to a lunch ? Everyone needs to have lunch during a workday, you're working with her on project, you could've made the "Hey, let's grab a bite to discuss XX, what day are you free this week ?" move anytime you wanted and then proceed to ignore "discuss XX" and just talk to her and strike up a personal relationship during that lunch.
About company diping, we're not all under 20s. I know I can dip the pen in company ink and keep it straight afterwards if it doesn't work out, I've done. In fact, my current workplace is a complete soap opera where practically everyone has dated co-workers and they are all still happily working together. A lot of them even have kids together and now both see other people from work again. Seriously, work and personal life are separate.
Heck, one of the guy with the bigger balls here asked out the HR lady after an interview. He got the "I'm engaged" response but he also got the job.
Really, how hard is it to go to a lunch ? Everyone needs to have lunch during a workday, you're working with her on project, you could've made the "Hey, let's grab a bite to discuss XX, what day are you free this week ?" move anytime you wanted and then proceed to ignore "discuss XX" and just talk to her and strike up a personal relationship during that lunch.
About company diping, we're not all under 20s. I know I can dip the pen in company ink and keep it straight afterwards if it doesn't work out, I've done. In fact, my current workplace is a complete soap opera where practically everyone has dated co-workers and they are all still happily working together. A lot of them even have kids together and now both see other people from work again. Seriously, work and personal life are separate.
Heck, one of the guy with the bigger balls here asked out the HR lady after an interview. He got the "I'm engaged" response but he also got the job.
vincenz
macrumors 601
😀😀😀
Why has everyone been ignoring the pictures with her and "a boy?" I'm willing to bet she already has a bf and she's just one of those girls who doesn't disclose that sort of information in everyday conversation.
OP, ask her if she has any siblings the next time you talk.
MotleyGrrl
macrumors 6502
Don't get your hopes up. She's been with this guy the whole time. It's not going to be as easy as you think it will be for her to end it with him. And even if she does, I doubt she'll be ready to move right on ASAP.
laurenr
macrumors 6502a
Great! Just make sure you are NOT the rebound guy if they break up. That never goes anywhere!
Perhaps being there for her, as someone who really listens, would be a really constructive (and endearing to her) start?
KnightWRX
macrumors Pentium
It's either rebound guy or friend zone as it stands. Doesn't sound like the OP really has a chance unless... he gets away from her right now. Wait for the rebound guy to strike out and come back then into her life.
That's your one way ticket to the friend zone. The harmless "goto guy" who "listens".
ChristianVirtual
macrumors 601
Wow, that sounds "flexible". Lucky that you have such environment. If the involved people don't take it too serious then it's ok.
ChristianVirtual
macrumors 601
JoeG4
macrumors 68040
I've seen some good relationships come from friendships and have almost had that happen myself lol. There was a reason we ended up not taking it all the way and it had nothing to do with how much we knew each other.
The awkward part is when the relationship doesn't work out.
laurenr
macrumors 6502a
Actually, that is how the relationship first started with my Hubby. I had just broken up with my boyfriend, and he was the one who was there for me to listen to all my rantings. (He told me he had a huge crush on me while I was still with the guy.)The friendship that formed from this evolved into something amazing. To this day, he is still my absolute best friend.
anjinha
macrumors 604
CalBoy
macrumors 604
this thread is like watching a train right before it's going to crash. you stare intensely while envisioning the impending bang at the same time. the bang here being the ops return with his crushed heart after she rejects him. I almost wasnt going to help op cause i'm positive viewing the crash would be entertaining, but i'm just too nice.
here's my advice for when you ask her out
quit thinking this woman is perfect/special, she isn't. period.
don't express any feelings you have for her when you ask her out, it will just creep her out. ex, don't say you like her, crush on her, think shes amazing, etc, etc.
take it like a man if she rejects you. dont get sad, angry, etc
when you ask her out, say you're going to an event like a farmers market, fun gathering, etc. and if she would be interested in going with you. if nothing is happening in your town than ask her out to a picnic, lunch, etc. do something casual and quiet, so it will be easy to conversate.
ask her out as soon as possible!!! wtf are you thinking wanting to wait 3 more months!!
listen, i'm not doctor, but i can definitely diagnose you will a strong case of onenitus. if you don't learn to deal with this syndrome, you're never going to get her or any girl worth a damn.
more info on oneitus
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=oneitis&defid=1771642
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Grow some balls and ask her out
You've already got no because you haven't asked her yet... but Yes you can still get.
Worst case scenario hold your head high and move on - it gets easier every time.
You've already got no because you haven't asked her yet... but Yes you can still get.
Worst case scenario hold your head high and move on - it gets easier every time.