Another girl advice thread... this is a fun one though.

fat jez said:
Honestly, you're planning this way too much. I mean, in your head you're thinking "after we hang out for day I can get a kiss out of her" and now you're thinking about how to raise the subject of a fling. Just see how it goes and be prepared that all that might come out of it is a new friend.

You can be sure right now she isn't posting on a forum in her native country saying "How can I get this American dude to screw me?" ;)
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Stranger things have happened. ;)
 
StephenCampbell said:
I'm turning 21 in a month, and graduating with a BA next spring.
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I'm turning 21 in 8 days and will be graduating with a BA next spring. woo-hoo!


Seriously though, where is this chick from? I'm curious.

I spent a few weeks in Italy this spring, but the Italian women I met didn't really strike me as attractive.

I will be studying for fall term in London so maybe I'll meet some cool UK girls. Maybe not haha:D
 
sou1 so1di3r said:
I'm turning 21 in 8 days and will be graduating with a BA next spring. woo-hoo!


Seriously though, where is this chick from? I'm curious.

I spent a few weeks in Italy this spring, but the Italian women I met didn't really strike me as attractive.

I will be studying for fall term in London so maybe I'll meet some cool UK girls. Maybe not haha:D
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You very well might, but they likely won't come knocking at your door after meeting you briefly, haha. That's usually the guys job. :p

I'm not telling where she's from. Sorry.
 
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I still maintain that you sound creepy. This sounds way too much like the beginning of a stalker movie on Lifetime.

Normalcy doesn't include detailing your obsessive thought process on a public forum with thousands of members. Pray that this girl doesn't find this thread and connect it with you. If I was her, I'd run the other direction. Swiftly.
 
Alaerian said:
Normalcy doesn't include detailing your obsessive thought process on a public forum with thousands of members.
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Unless it's a cry for attention?

He got the advise he came for, and now that his balls have finally dropped, let's hope this blog will finally stop.
 
Okay, sure, let's hope it stops. If people are going to start insulting me and ganging on me, I hope it stops too. I came on here for advice, and I got a lot of good advice, mixed with random insults and exclamations of disbelief. But if you're all tired of this thread, have a moderator lock it up.

I'm not creepy, and there's no reason for this girl to run from me. I don't know why people get such distorted impressions of people through online forums, but they do apparently.

And thanks very much to all of you who gave productive advice!
 
Mate, planning your intentions step by step on a forum IS creepy. We're not saying this to insult you, just to try and get you to see it from a different perspective. When the girls on here are telling you that what you are suggesting would freak them out, I'd listen. Regardless of where this girl you are talking to comes from, she'll run a mile if she finds out what's been said here. Hell, I'd run a mile and I'm a straight male!
 
fat jez said:
Mate, planning your intentions step by step on a forum IS creepy. We're not saying this to insult you, just to try and get you to see it from a different perspective. When the girls on here are telling you that what you are suggesting would freak them out, I'd listen. Regardless of where this girl you are talking to comes from, she'll run a mile if she finds out what's been said here. Hell, I'd run a mile and I'm a straight male!
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Okay, I understand. I was never actually planning my actions based entirely on this thread, which is why I was confused at those accusations.

In reality, nothing I'm doing is creepy. I knocked on her door, she was happy to see me, and we chatted for three hours. And today we're going to go hang out in the park. That's it. If anything I've said on here seems creepy, it's only within this discussion. Maybe I gave the impression of meticulously planning action by action based only on what is said in here, but that's not what's happening. I didn't even plan what I was going to say before I knocked on her door.

Now that I've spoken with her, and am seeing her again, all I was asking advice on at this point is if/when/how to approach the prospect of a summer relationship. If anybody has any more input on that, I'd love to hear it. Thanks!
 
StephenCampbell said:
Now that I've spoken with her, and am seeing her again, all I was asking advice on at this point is if/when/how to approach the prospect of a summer relationship. If anybody has any more input on that, I'd love to hear it. Thanks!
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Yes, don't approach it as a summer relationship, you'll pile too much pressure on yourself. Take it as it comes and don't set yourself goals or targets. If you enjoy spending time together and there's chemistry between you then things will happen without you worrying about them (or trying to contrive them).
 
fat jez said:
Yes, don't approach it as a summer relationship, you'll pile too much pressure on yourself. Take it as it comes and don't set yourself goals or targets. If you enjoy spending time together and there's chemistry between you then things will happen without you worrying about them (or trying to contrive them).
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Thank you. That's very helpful. :)
 
I'm a girl, and I still maintain that it doesn't sound creepy. He's just a guy who met a pretty girl and is asking for advice on how to get to know her better.

Btw, anyone who thinks hashing out all of this online is weird has CLEARLY not been to a forum where women talk about their relationships and every aspect of them in the most minute detail possible :)
 
Keep the thread updated on how the date/meeting goes today I'm quite curious to see how this all unfolds....
 
Well, it looks like this story is coming to an end.

First of all, she is really bad at english. We can't really have conversations. It kind of got old today, while we were hanging out. A lot of the conversation involved me teaching her english stuff, and trying to rephrase sentences over and over until she'd understand.

Secondly, she has a boyfriend back home. I asked her.

When we parted, she changed our next meetup from tomorrow evening to thursday evening. I think that'll probably be the last time we hang out.

But hey, this was never about any outcome with her. This was about breaking out of my fears of approaching people and talking to girls, which I did magnificently. I'm free now, and I can use that freedom to approach other girls, until I find something that works!

Thanks everybody!
 
Why is it coming to an end? Why not just hang out with her with some other friends. Bring her along to the mall/movies/events with other people, it'll be less awkward. She would probably really appreciate it since she doesn't know English much. Maybe she'll introduce you to her roommate and co-workers, you never know, you might meet some cool foreigners, keep networking.
 
SamIchi said:
Why is it coming to an end? Why not just hang out with her with some other friends. Bring her along to the mall/movies/events with other people, it'll be less awkward. She would probably really appreciate it since she doesn't know English much. Maybe she'll introduce you to her roommate and co-workers, you never know, you might meet some cool foreigners, keep networking.
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Yeah, I guess that could work. I mean, her having a boyfriend definitely wouldn't have been a deal killer for me on it's own, but combined with the fact that I can't really talk with her.. it's kind of meh. But yeah, I won't close my mind to the possibility. I'll see how it is on thursday.
 
iLikeToDrum said:
Don't you just love ulterior motives?
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"Oh she's so awesome that even if nothing happened I'd be so happy just having a summer buddy, and I can help her with her English"

She has a b/f.

"F that sh** I'm out. And her English sucks anyway"

Sorry OP that your easy summer lay didn't work out as planned. Better luck next time :D
 
awer25 said:
"Oh she's so awesome that even if nothing happened I'd be so happy just having a summer buddy, and I can help her with her English"

She has a b/f.

"F that sh** I'm out. And her English sucks anyway"

Sorry OP that your easy summer lay didn't work out as planned. Better luck next time :D
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Your interpretation isn't correct. That isn't how I feel.

I would have loved to have her as a friend if I could actually talk with her, and I probably will continue to hang out with her actually, if she wants, because she is a really fun person to be around. I haven't decided that I'm not seeing her anymore. I just got the feeling from her, the last time we hung out, that she doesn't have a big interest in seeing me much more, but I could be wrong.

edit: And I'm not trying to deny the fact that I am looking for a fling or relationship this summer. Obviously I am. I had something last summer that worked out great, and I'm hoping the same will happen this summer. And the whole thing with this foreign girl was mostly about having the courage to go up and knock on her door. It was a pure victory. I broke through my fears. I'm completely content with how things are turning out.
 
Yeah, it's possible. When I asked her if she had a boyfriend, there was something odd about the way she said "yes" and then the way she said "one year" when I asked how long she'd been with him. It seemed like it could have been pre-programmed. I doubt it though.

What does "While she's at the trough, anyways (sic)" mean?
 
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