Call me unsympathetic but this pity party is pathetic. "The refund is out of pocket", is actually a massive lie. A refund is simply returning funds you collected, I do not care that you spent the money. Personally I call it a big scam taking advantage of the "hate on reddit policy" and "kindness of people". Do not fall for it folks, actively tell this developer to go F himself for even asking. Give your money to a real charity, you owe this stranger nothing. He entered into a business and knew the risks getting in! He also likely enjoyed some very nice reward while the going was good, pathetic is my polite word, don't reward stupid.