I better get my popcorn and soda out for this thread... And for the show tonight.
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Jim: "Tim, does your company seem to be going downhill?"
Tim: "Well you see, Jim, we strive to make the best products for our consumers--- even if that means incremental update after incremental update while our competitors are taking risks and making better products than us now. We love how the iPad comes in new colors, how our 'new' iPhones using hardware that's been in storage for four years are excelling in the market, and we love displaying incredibly powerful Macs that run on the weakest hardware possible to save money while selling it for $1,599.00 USD," while scratching his head. "We, at Apple, are doing very well."
Jim: "Why do you think your company is doing well?"
Tim: "Well, Jim, our products have been losing some major market share since I've become CEO, but I like to blame that on market saturation, rather than the fact that I'm not a visionary and I'm pretty much a worthless CEO that isn't capable of driving a tech company, and only good at pinching pennies while we nickel and dime our customers. The fact that we still make billions every quarter means we're doing just fine. Who cares about innovation when you can just ride off of someone else's inventions from six to ten years ago?"
Jim: "Then why has the stocked dropped so much over the last two weeks?"
Tim: "I think the investors are too quick to jump to conclusions about the future here at Apple. We have plenty of exciting products to come [hinting at more incremental color and screen size updates]."