I wrapped my lips around a pistol...
Who among us is not only overjoyed today... but overwhelmed?
My shiny new PowerBook peeks out from under a Brenthaven bag flap... Its clean rounded aluminum corners barely a couple months old. 🙂
I sit here, at my workstation, staring at millions of pixels. They come together to form letters.. words... and my mouth is agape 😱 ; dry as the saharan dunes.
Apple Computers (AAPL) has just released a plethora of updates to its portable line. My heart skips a beat. 😱 A tidal wave of emotions wash over me, I'm struggling to stay afloat, and not succomb to the powerful current. I'm overjoyed, confused, sad, angry, all at the same time. Numbers are bombarding my brain.. how much did I spend? How much are they now? What more do I get? 😕
I'm at apple.com/store... I've just priced out a fully loaded PowerBook 15" 1.5ghz... My cursor hovers over the "checkout" button. A single drop of sweats beads on my forehead. One more glimpse at my soon-to-be-replaced PowerBook... I can't. It's too hard. What am I thinking? Have I gone mad?
I want to cry, and yet, I can't muster a single tear. It's as though the Apple Gods are toying with me, taunting me with their upgraded SuperDrives, and doubled video card memory. I own a 15" PowerBook G4 1.25, I bought all the upgrades, 5400rpm hard drive, spare battery, gig of ram... the list goes on. I even bought one of those pricey Brenthaven bags.. nothing's too good for my PowerBook! Or so I thought. 🙁
I think I need counselling, someone to help me cope with this. Coupled with the eMac speed-bumps, I feel as though my sweet little, innocent, PowerBook has been gang-raped by the proverbial villain that is Apple. And yet, how can I stay mad at you, Steve? Apple has changed my life, I would rather burn in the depths of hell than use a PC again.
In these difficult times, all I can do is take comfort in what I have. Long walks on the beach with my mac... going out for frosty chocolate milkshakes... carefully wiping the small stains from my backlit keyboard... a stolen glance from time to time... I love checking out my mac, it has a great backside... The key is not to let your mac know that you doubted, for even a second, that it could accomplish everything you want from a computer, and always will. 😉
If you are a fellow mac user and your brand new, or not so brand-new, computer has just been dealt a blow from Apple, take comfort in these words:
Find your INNER mac. You know which one I mean, it's been around far longer than any computer you've ever owned. It has the largest display you could ever wish for, the latest processor, unlimited ram, video rendering to die for. Most importantly... It can't be replaced and forgotten by Apple, it will never break, never fail to power that new app or game, never display funny shapes or colors, and the pixels never die. And when you find yourself doubting your mac, don't steal from your childrens' college fund just yet. Find a mirror and say to yourself:
I. AM. MAC. 😎