Place four fingers on your iPad. No no, not your thumb you idiot. Just your fingers. Now... move them upward!
"Oh wow the multitasking bar!!!!!!"
Settle down. Ok next put your hand on your iPad again. ... Just your fingers now, like you did last time. Now you swipe them left.
"Oh cool I'm in another app now!!!!!!"
Here, have a chocolate. Now get ready again! Put your four fingers on the iPad again, and pinch them together!
"Like this??"
No stop pinching your fingers with your other hand... just... ok spread out your fingers. Yes, that's it. Now bring them alllllll together!
"Oh wow the home screen!"
You win!