Ah, yes Seinfeld... it's funny because it's true. Yet people seem to take it seriously and give credence to something that should simply be laughed at. I think I used to get the green bubbles myself because I didn't have a data plan, so messages went out as text unless I was near wifi. Maybe I'm remembering wrong because it never really struck me as important.Some people discriminate against green bubble people, newsflash, everything discussed on this website is a first world problem or zero as you put it, remember the Seinfeld episode, Elaine and that area code, same thing happens with the green bubbles.
At some point, people should realize that if someone really takes issue with the colour of your bubble, they have the problem, not you. Seems kind of like a metaphor for life and behaviour in general.