iScoop
Using the classified beta version of Google TimeWarp, I was able to travel two hours into the near future and observe the Apple Superbowl ad on a futuristic high-definition Plasma-screen TV (prepare to be blown away by the technology of the near future!). These are my notes:
... look into this "Levitra" stuff. I mean, not for myself, of course. But, uh, for benefit of the elderly gentelmen at the park who may one day ask me for advice in this delicate matter.
OK, here comes the next ad...
A BLACK SCREEN and an ominous, sustained chord. Now the screen FADES UP to reveal the faces of four young and/or young-hearted lads in black turtleneck shirts, superimposed against a solid black background. They look calmly into the camera, their faces in half shadow.
As the light continues to FADE UP and the chord continues, we instantly recognize these loveable moptops! Down in the lower right quadrant -- why, that's a youthful Ringo Starr! And directly above him, it's a boyish Paul McCartney!
And there, on the far left, wearing the relaxed, confident expression of a man who knows he is on the verge of forever transforming the world of pop music, and becoming "bigger than Jesus," it's... Stephen P. Jobs. And directly to his right, looking at once more shy *and* more spiritual than his mates, it's... Stephen P. Jobs, again. True, both Stephen P. Jobses (the smart one and the spiritual one) -- are looking somewhat underrepresented in the moptop department, but the mod black turtlenecks work wonders when it comes to youth cred!
The long chord has finally played itself out, and now a very familiar guitar riff suddenly SWELLS, followed by an equally familiar VOCAL TRACK: "It was twenty years ago today, Sgt. Pepper taught the band to play..."
CUT TO: Stephen P. Jobs (the smart one), still in his throat-waddle obscuring turtleneck, fiddling with GarageBand on a sleek iMac. He effortlessly mixes a catchy new tamborine loop into the beloved "Sgt. Pepper" track, nodding his head only slightly out of rhythm to the beat.
A TITLE appears at the top of the screen: "Meet the Beatles... Again." CUT TO the other Stephen P. Jobs (the spiritual one) wearing iPod earphones while rocking on air guitar. CUT BACK TO the new Fab Four on their famous and now updated "Meet the Beatles" album cover (with both Stephen P. Jobses doing the "White-Guy Overbite.")
Another TITLE appears: "On February 1, 2004, Stephen P. Jobs will finally get to ROCK. And you'll see why the long-awaited Beatles Reunion won't be like a Beatles Reunion. "
Stephen P. Jobs (the one wearing the Lennon specs) stops doing "The Robot" long enough to announce, "Thank you on behalf of the group and I hope we pass the audition."
On to the next commercial, a spot to promote Eli Lili's new drug for sexual dysfunction, Cialis, which, according the announcer, is preferred by two out of four New Beatles.