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Asking a girl to Prom

Gelfin said:
Well, understand that "experience" consists of screwing up a LOT.



Rule of thumb is, ask questions and let the other person talk as much as you possibly can. The soul of being a brilliant conversationalist is remaining engaged while other people talk about themselves. Not just women, but everybody. Going on about yourself unbidden comes across egotistical and shallow. Giving other people permission to go on about themselves indicates you find them interesting. If you can have such a conversation without being bored to tears you've probably struck a good balance and should ask for a second date.

Back to Henry, I've got to agree with the consensus: you're about to gain some of that experience I mentioned up at the top there. Here's the thing you really need to get through your head: you're thinking of yourself as a "nice guy" here, but your actions are not very nice at all. You've lied to your friend to keep him from asking the girl out, and then you've lied to the girl by focusing on "just friends" when that's not what you mean. You're doing a lot of lying to protect your own feelings while at the same time steering people into behaving the way you want them to behave. That isn't nice. It's manipulative.

Listen, Henry, what you're going through right now never, ever gets any easier. We can't tell you anything that will make it so. In fact, in many ways it gets harder as you go on, because the people become more complicated. Try figuring out how and when to approach someone who has recently been through a divorce after several years of an unfulfilling marriage, where "I need more time" likely really means "I need more time." Now that is tricky.

The only thing you can change about the situation is yourself. Being confident in this situation is not about lack of nervousness or uncertainty. It's about acting with integrity despite being nervous and uncertain. Acting in an adult way here means owning up to your own feelings and needs without expecting that other people are obliged to indulge them. Be quick to take responsibility for what you want, but slow to get hurt when things don't turn out in your favor. Sad to say, you are doing exactly the opposite here. You're trying to figure out the right thing to say to game the system so things turn out the way you want them to with minimum risk to yourself. You'll have disappointing results until you figure out not to do that.
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I just wanted to be the 177th person to quote you.


Good advice for all of us, even the guys who think they know what they're doing.
 
Don't you hate it when you get pulled in my these threads and read all all six pages of the comments, and then find out that your left hanging?

I think the same thing happend on one of those ghall threads, but at least he came back and filled us in...

It's like our own MacRumors Soap Opera...
 
aross99 said:
Don't you hate it when you get pulled in my these threads and read all all six pages of the comments, and then find out that your left hanging?

I think the same thing happend on one of those ghall threads, but at least he came back and filled us in...

It's like our own MacRumors Soap Opera...
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Yeah, that's why I don't get too caught up in them.
 
I feel dumb because my post was like a week too late.

I hope he's moved on.

Going to prom with your best friends is 10x more fun than going with a date, btw. Unless your dad IS your best friend... then you're in for a real treat!

haha I've been to prom alone, with a best friend, with a 'thing', and this year I'm going with my boyfriend of 9 months.

I've been through it all!
 
No update :(

I was wondering where this thread went. I read through every reply, when I wasn't able to sleep one night. We need an ending.
 
Since there has been no ending provided, I'll do that for everyone. Just keep in mind this is my own ending to the story and I pray it's not what really happened.

Upon finding out about our good friend Henry asking the girl he was going to ask, Henry's friend clobbered him so severly it landed him a trip to the hospital. He has since been able to return to home, but the severity of the beating has kept him bed ridden with little hopes of being able to use his computer anytime soon.

Just tell us what happened Henry! We are all dying to know.
 
klymr said:
Since there has been no ending provided, I'll do that for everyone. Just keep in mind this is my own ending to the story and I pray it's not what really happened.

Upon finding out about our good friend Henry asking the girl he was going to ask, Henry's friend clobbered him so severly it landed him a trip to the hospital. He has since been able to return to home, but the severity of the beating has kept him bed ridden with little hopes of being able to use his computer anytime soon.

Just tell us what happened Henry! We are all dying to know.
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That must've been a brutal beating to not be able to type.
 
Hello everyone! Sorry for not responding for awhile. I have been caught up with drama, school, band, work, and now spring break. The girl I asked to prom just told me today (2 weeks later) that she would enjoy to go to prom with me. I'm so excited, and just wanted to let everyone who replyed to my thread THANKS!

Thank you everyone. I LOVE you all! haha

-Henry
 
HenryTheGood said:
Hello everyone! Sorry for not responding for awhile. I have been caught up with drama, school, band, work, and now spring break. The girl I asked to prom just told me today (2 weeks later) that she would enjoy to go to prom with me. I'm so excited, and just wanted to let everyone who replyed to my thread THANKS!

Thank you everyone. I LOVE you all! haha

-Henry
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Congratz!

be safe ;]
 
Good for you man!

BTW, did she clarify any aspects of what she's expecting from the relationship when she said yes? Meaning, did she say something like "I'd enjoy going to the prom with you as friends," or " I'd enjoy going to the prom with you, I think it's gonna be magical," or anything like that?
 
motulist said:
Good for you man!

BTW, did she clarify any aspects of what she's expecting from the relationship when she said yes? Meaning, did she say something like "I'd enjoy going to the prom with you as friends," or " I'd enjoy going to the prom with you, I think it's gonna be magical," or anything like that?
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:D Magical, :D I don't think a teenager would ever say that. Mayb back in the 50's
 
well good for you henry!
hope you have good time at your prom

my prom is on the 26th of April..
my plans..

stay home!
watch Armegeddon over and over again
then watch Star Trek
and lurk the forums!

perfect tripation!
 
Congrats. If she asks you a question say you'll get back to her in 2 weeks on that...
:D



O, and re-read what Gelfin typed, seriously.


Have fun.
 
Gelfin said:
The soul of being a brilliant conversationalist is remaining engaged while other people talk about themselves. Not just women, but everybody. Going on about yourself unbidden comes across egotistical and shallow. Giving other people permission to go on about themselves indicates you find them interesting.
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In other words - give other people the chance to come across egoistical and shallow? :p
 
c-Row said:
In other words - give other people the chance to come across egoistical and shallow? :p
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Sure, if you like looking for faults, think of it as giving them enough rope. That's really not the point I was going for, though. Probably not such a good way to approach the situation. The point is for you to be aware of making the other person the focus of your attention instead of making yourself the focus of your attention.

If you must, think about it this way: If the other person is egotistical and shallow and you spend the entire conversation talking about yourself, how will you ever know it?

Henry, good for you. I'm really glad the girl said yes, and I'm sure you'll have a great time. Hope you were able to smooth things out with your buddy.
 
Aw Henry, this is like a Mills and Boon novel.....not that I've ever read one, I've just heard about them from sad weird people. Any way, I needed

406931_0.jpg


after reading that she said yes.

Hope all goes well ;)
 
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