Just a brief update: I went to the store this morning, unable to cancel but went ahead and bought a full price phone under some fancy pants procedure that the fantastic store staff was willing to do for me, so that I will end up paying the normal upgrade price. Anyway...
I got home, out of curiosity I checked my status and it wasn't backordered. At 930p cdt I got tracking email, it's delivering tomorrow. LOL, I feel kinda stupid for going to the store now....but as far as I knew it was going to be a month. All the reps told me to expect a month wait. I placed my order for a white 64gb on att's site, on the 7th at 10am cdt, no status changes until today.
I'm still aggravated, but only because I wasted my time because att couldn't tell me anything about when to expect the package. I wouldn't have freaked about an extra day or two...a month is another story.
So, my preorder is going back tomorrow.