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Awkward rut
- Thread starter iMacZealot
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So...she likes to be sexual with people she doesn't know, then later that night abuse them verbally over the phone? And she goes out with someone for literally just a few days, then dumps them after school?
Holy cripes! You've got a giant ball of confusing on your hands! Because there is a good chance that even if you ask her out, she'll be "grinding" with some kid at the next dance that is not you, and in a week or two, will dump you.
Personally, I've been getting to know this girl in college here for about a month now, and this last week I've seen her I believe literally every day. One nigh tI played ultimate frisbee with her and some of her friends, then talked with her for about three hours outside. The next night, we went on a walk around campus, and then talked for four more hours, we spent like six hours together that evening. The next night I don't know if we did anything...Thursday I walked with her for a while, and went to the library with her. Friday was a dance, and we didn't go together, but she convinced me to go, and she didn't have any other person to dance with, pretty much we spent the evening together and danced together (not grinding, actual dancing. Swing.
) Saturday I invited her over to watch a movie and for dinner...afterwards we chatted outside hr dorm for three or four hours. During which, she explained that she has dated two guys, and talks about how awesome they are, and how she is still good friends with them. I explain that I had a relationship with a girl that startedin 7th or 8th grade, but really we mostly talkedon the internet, andI was"inlovewith" the internet her, not the real her. We never went on a date, and really it was an extremely awkward relationshp, if you can call it that, and it's finally dead as best as I can tell, she doesn't really talk to me anymore. Then she tells me that she actually broke up with her last boyfriend the night before she came to college, and then tels me she is perfectly happy being single.
Great. This past week I thought she was dropping hints like there was no tomorrow that she might be interested in me.....so she says she is happy being single and she says that hopes she hasn't been leading me on, I kind of laugh and lie and say "no not at all." I wrote her an email later saying that I thought she said that maybe because she thought I was trying to be spending time with her just to ask her out, and that really I'm just trying to get to know her, because I want to knowsomeone pretty well before I ask them out. And that's the truth, except I'm really somewhat taken with this gal. She makes me happy, and is cute and beautiful and everything....she says I'm a cool guy but I really would like to know that she would consider going out with me. She says "I just have a rule that I won't lead a guy on further in a dating relationship because "they'll do" type thing. It is not fair to the guy at all because they deserve someone who is truly crazy about them. As for me, guys that I date have an X factor (as I refer to it) and until somebody comes along with that, I am perfectly happy being single." So, I suppose that I do not have the X factor, and I should give up hope with this girl. It's actually put me in a rather sour mood, and I couldn't fall asleep and when Idid, I had crazy odd dreams and woke up really early after sleeping for about four hours and couldn't go back to sleep. We went canoing together and ate dinner in the cafeteria, I mean, we are still friends, but now I realize that everything I thought was a hint is just her normal self, and that I'm nothing special, and that I have nothing to look forwards to, because apparently I don't have the X Factor. (she hasn't said that I don't but she's implied it.)
Sorry to somewhat hijack your thread...I'm rather soured on the female gender right this moment. I am so enamored by them at some points and it nevr goes my way.
Holy cripes! You've got a giant ball of confusing on your hands! Because there is a good chance that even if you ask her out, she'll be "grinding" with some kid at the next dance that is not you, and in a week or two, will dump you.
Personally, I've been getting to know this girl in college here for about a month now, and this last week I've seen her I believe literally every day. One nigh tI played ultimate frisbee with her and some of her friends, then talked with her for about three hours outside. The next night, we went on a walk around campus, and then talked for four more hours, we spent like six hours together that evening. The next night I don't know if we did anything...Thursday I walked with her for a while, and went to the library with her. Friday was a dance, and we didn't go together, but she convinced me to go, and she didn't have any other person to dance with, pretty much we spent the evening together and danced together (not grinding, actual dancing. Swing.
) Saturday I invited her over to watch a movie and for dinner...afterwards we chatted outside hr dorm for three or four hours. During which, she explained that she has dated two guys, and talks about how awesome they are, and how she is still good friends with them. I explain that I had a relationship with a girl that startedin 7th or 8th grade, but really we mostly talkedon the internet, andI was"inlovewith" the internet her, not the real her. We never went on a date, and really it was an extremely awkward relationshp, if you can call it that, and it's finally dead as best as I can tell, she doesn't really talk to me anymore. Then she tells me that she actually broke up with her last boyfriend the night before she came to college, and then tels me she is perfectly happy being single. Great. This past week I thought she was dropping hints like there was no tomorrow that she might be interested in me.....so she says she is happy being single and she says that hopes she hasn't been leading me on, I kind of laugh and lie and say "no not at all." I wrote her an email later saying that I thought she said that maybe because she thought I was trying to be spending time with her just to ask her out, and that really I'm just trying to get to know her, because I want to knowsomeone pretty well before I ask them out. And that's the truth, except I'm really somewhat taken with this gal. She makes me happy, and is cute and beautiful and everything....she says I'm a cool guy but I really would like to know that she would consider going out with me. She says "I just have a rule that I won't lead a guy on further in a dating relationship because "they'll do" type thing. It is not fair to the guy at all because they deserve someone who is truly crazy about them. As for me, guys that I date have an X factor (as I refer to it) and until somebody comes along with that, I am perfectly happy being single." So, I suppose that I do not have the X factor, and I should give up hope with this girl.
It's actually put me in a rather sour mood, and I couldn't fall asleep and when Idid, I had crazy odd dreams and woke up really early after sleeping for about four hours and couldn't go back to sleep. We went canoing together and ate dinner in the cafeteria, I mean, we are still friends, but now I realize that everything I thought was a hint is just her normal self, and that I'm nothing special, and that I have nothing to look forwards to, because apparently I don't have the X Factor. (she hasn't said that I don't but she's implied it.) Sorry to somewhat hijack your thread...I'm rather soured on the female gender right this moment. I am so enamored by them at some points and it nevr goes my way.
Yeah, I asked her out, and she said yes. It wasn't so bad after all.
As for the person above, it may sound that she has loose morals and all, but she's actually pretty cool. 'Tis why I've been going after her so long.
Life is good.
As for the person above, it may sound that she has loose morals and all, but she's actually pretty cool. 'Tis why I've been going after her so long.
Life is good.
Thank F*** For That.
Just think, if you'd have done it when you first started this thread, you could have been (how do you Americans say it) "At Third Base" by now.
Now just go and enjoy yourself with her.
Just think, if you'd have done it when you first started this thread, you could have been (how do you Americans say it) "At Third Base" by now.
Now just go and enjoy yourself with her.
Yeah, I asked her out, and she said yes. It wasn't so bad after all.
As for the person above, it may sound that she has loose morals and all, but she's actually pretty cool. 'Tis why I've been going after her so long.
Life is good.
congrats man.
Yeah, I asked her out, and she said yes. It wasn't so bad after all.
As for the person above, it may sound that she has loose morals and all, but she's actually pretty cool. 'Tis why I've been going after her so long.
Life is good.
Congratulations!
To iMacZealot. Don't worry I'm having the same kinda problems here but I'm a couple years older. Take it slow and let things play out on its own.
Congratulations on getting up the gusto to ask her out. I'm truly sorry it didn't work out better.
I hope that you, and others, can walk away with a valuable lesson from this. I remember in high school, the first time I ever got up the guts to tell a girl I liked her in a serious way. The girl was taken and I knew going into it that I had a 0% chance, but I told her anyways. Yes I got shot down, but she told me that she respected how I came out and told her in a classy way.
She said she respected me for it. No getting laughed at, no feeling mocked, just a positive sense of self-worth. Since then I've never hesitated to tell someone I was interested in them. I've gone from zero to phone number in 90 seconds. Sure I've faced rejection, but it's always preferable to not knowing and hoping for something that won't be.
If you're in the awkward friend zone, chances are it's your own fault for not making a move sooner. Remember that geek can be sexy. Just look at Hugh Grant. Keep it classy and the worst you'll walk away with might just be respect.
I hope that you, and others, can walk away with a valuable lesson from this. I remember in high school, the first time I ever got up the guts to tell a girl I liked her in a serious way. The girl was taken and I knew going into it that I had a 0% chance, but I told her anyways. Yes I got shot down, but she told me that she respected how I came out and told her in a classy way.
She said she respected me for it. No getting laughed at, no feeling mocked, just a positive sense of self-worth. Since then I've never hesitated to tell someone I was interested in them. I've gone from zero to phone number in 90 seconds. Sure I've faced rejection, but it's always preferable to not knowing and hoping for something that won't be.
If you're in the awkward friend zone, chances are it's your own fault for not making a move sooner. Remember that geek can be sexy. Just look at Hugh Grant. Keep it classy and the worst you'll walk away with might just be respect.
...and we're done. What a fantastic stint. This girl is insane.
So that makes it a week. Oh well at least now you know what it was like rather than spending all of your time wondering what it could be like. And at least you have prepared the waters with your parents so you won't come up against that hurdle again.
i'm in the friend zone at the moment
Im in the I like to flirt with you but that is it zone.
Edit: O and high five for asking her out ... and sorry it did not work out.
Or rather don't look at Hugh Grant as a role model. Ick!
He was the best "geeky" role model I could come up with.
Sorry, I don't have tee vee. Most of my pop culture references are a bit out of date :3
this thread reminds me of when ghall was trying to get that one girl to go out with him who was in the fashion show or something like that...
sorry it didnt work out, but from what you had seen from in the past month what did you really expect?
sucks how we think we can change women lol
sorry it didnt work out, but from what you had seen from in the past month what did you really expect?
sucks how we think we can change women lol
...that is so creepy that you remember that.
She ended up being a bitch anyway, so it wasn't worth it. And I'm glad it didn't work out, because I wouldn't be in the great relationship I'm in now!
@iMacZealot: The right girl will show up at some point. If I found someone who can love me for who I am, then anyone can.
The most important thing is be yourself, you don't want a girl who likes you because of something your not.