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Dating "Rules"

redAPPLE said:
ok. 2 or 3 chances. check.

she ain't ueber-hot. i say she got sex-appeal. and i want to know more about this sex-appeal. and how far it would get me.

i won't fall in love. unless she cooks me my favorite dish without me telling her what it is.
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No offense bro, but you sound like a total n00b, lol. But then, we were all noobs at one point. Anywaaay, when she pulls the "oh im hanging out with someone else so can we do it someother time", she probably isn't and is most likely testing you to see how far you can go before you snap. Trust me, a girl did this to me twice and it was VERY obvious. Heh, when I asked her how that "trip" went on the first date she got all bottled up inside and quickly changed the subject because she didn't know how to respond. I had to pretty much guide her in a sense and make it sound like she had a good time. :p
 
CubaTBird said:
No offense bro, but you sound like a total n00b, lol. But then, we were all noobs at one point. Anywaaay, when she pulls the "oh im hanging out with someone else so can we do it someother time", she probably isn't and is most likely testing you to see how far you can go before you snap. Trust me, a girl did this to me twice and it was VERY obvious. Heh, when I asked her how that "trip" went on the first date she got all bottled up inside and quickly changed the subject because she didn't know how to respond. I had to pretty much guide her in a sense and make it sound like she had a good time. :p
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yes, i am a n00b. in a sense that this hasn't happened to me before. i have been on a lot of dates. some successful. and some not. but those dates where easy. we set a date. and we meet. if it worked out, we both had fun. if not? well...

i have never been tested like this before.

btw. got an update. just got a message, that she does have time tomorrow evening.
 
redAPPLE said:
yes, i am a n00b. in a sense that this hasn't happened to me before. i have been on a lot of dates. some successful. and some not. but those dates where easy. we set a date. and we meet. if it worked out, we both had fun. if not? well...

i have never been tested like this before.

btw. got an update. just got a message, that she does have time tomorrow evening.
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Well new experiences, eh? What can you do. ASKMEN.COM IS YOUR FRIEND:D lol.

So... She has time tomorrow evening... WHAT TIME, lol. Be like "so yeah tomorrow evening, how's about I meet up with you at such and such a place at such and such a time".. Or if you wanna pick her up thats cool too. But I prefer meeting up somewhere on a first date. Like at a mall or something. Then say like "yeah by that one store" then when you see her from a distance or afar, as you walk up to her you can be all "HEYYYY *insert her name here*" and she'll pretty much eat it up. Oh yeah then give her a big hug and a SLIGHT kiss on the cheek. The big one is for later on. DO NOT give a handshake.. Cmon', what is this a business deal? :p
 
FrankieTDouglas said:
After a few dates, a girl once told me, "I just want to be friends."

I said "Sorry, I already have plenty of friends" and stopped calling.

Does anyone agree that it's pointless to try to turn a "we're going on some dates and I really dig her" to "oh, we'll just hang out and be friends, and maybe I'll be fortunate enough to hear her stories about other guys."

No thanks.
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I think that the only appropriate response to this is to act relieved, and say that you're more interested in her best friend anyhow.

/Just joking! Sort of ;)


FrankieTDouglas said:
And yes, guys have their own unique quirk. The "I'll sleep with her but I don't want to date her" syndrome. We lead girls on until they finally give in, and then we're out. Though not until we're sure we've drained all of the sex without commitment from her.
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Ouch. Scathingly true.

I think this highlights a key difference between men and women. Both situations find someone realising they don't want to stick it out with the other. But the guys think "why not have sex before ending this?"
 
so here is a short update.

we went out yesterday evening. she drank white wine and i drank beer (of course). well she didn't really look me in the eye often, maybe it was the way we seated, i don't know, but hey.

a funny thing happened i forgot my cash and she paid for the beer and the drink she had.

i asked her if she wanted something to eat, she said no.

then i went to the next atm and got some cash and we then had some ice cream.

we talked about a few stuff while strolling. mostly about past relationships and what went wrong and stuff.

one bad thing though. her cell kept ringing like 10 times. she's a grrl so i guess that is normal. what were they talking about? plans on what to do the next day, shopping, swimming and stuff.

was that cheap enough? ;)
 
redAPPLE said:
so here is a short update.

we went out yesterday evening. she drank white wine and i drank beer (of course). well she didn't really look me in the eye often, maybe it was the way we seated, i don't know, but hey.

a funny thing happened i forgot my cash and she paid for the beer and the drink she had.

i asked her if she wanted something to eat, she said no.

then i went to the next atm and got some cash and we then had some ice cream.

we talked about a few stuff while strolling. mostly about past relationships and what went wrong and stuff.

one bad thing though. her cell kept ringing like 10 times. she's a grrl so i guess that is normal. what were they talking about? plans on what to do the next day, shopping, swimming and stuff.

was that cheap enough? ;)
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DUDE... Did you not study up on askmen.com? You don't talk about your past relationships with a woman your out on a date on...

http://www.askmen.com/dating/heidi_150/155b_dating_girl.html

As for her phone ringing... Did you play on it? Tease her about such things.
 
redAPPLE said:
so here is a short update.

we went out yesterday evening. she drank white wine and i drank beer (of course). well she didn't really look me in the eye often, maybe it was the way we seated, i don't know, but hey.

a funny thing happened i forgot my cash and she paid for the beer and the drink she had.

i asked her if she wanted something to eat, she said no.

then i went to the next atm and got some cash and we then had some ice cream.

we talked about a few stuff while strolling. mostly about past relationships and what went wrong and stuff.

one bad thing though. her cell kept ringing like 10 times. she's a grrl so i guess that is normal. what were they talking about? plans on what to do the next day, shopping, swimming and stuff.

was that cheap enough? ;)
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Dude, the post above is right. Talking about past relationships = big no no. Especially talking about the wrongs of past relationships. If she asks, always stay positive, always tell her how wonderful your past girlfriends are, and how cordially you broke up - "our lives went on different paths" or some such BS. Now, she'll basically wonder if she dates you, then you two break up, and you go to another girl, will you share all the sordid details about this girl?

I'm not saying never to share past relationships with a girl. If/when you two become an actual relationship - ie gf/bf, then you can tell her all you want. But first few dates? Bad idea.

I think you're officially in her Friend Zone now.

PS. I would not like it if the girl keeps blabbering on the damn phone during our date either. It's not just "grrls". It's plain unrespectful to you. From what you wrote, I personally would nix her on the spot. Don't feel guilty because she paid for your beer. It's just, what, $4? Anybody (anyone that's half-way cool, that is) would've paid.
 
Yeah dude, Id be hard pressed to think your not in the friends zone anymore. I think the most you could do is give it some time. Say a week or two, and then boom call her up and invite her out for that night you called her or as soon as she is available and then bust out some serious moves. The NUMBER ONE move you can do when your out on a first date is HOLD HER HAND. Did you do that? If you do that, it tells her you like her more than just as a friend. If she balks, your screwed and your back in the "friends" zone. If she lets you, awesome. Nevertheless, don't think its smooth sailing because a few dates later she could always tell you a "relationship" is not what she's looking "for". So if you kiss her, you gotta mean it. You only get one chance. That's just the way it is. Good luck.
 
I dunno, the whole rules on the "max" age you can date or the "youngest" you can date is pretty lame in my book. Now of course if your 18, and your dating like a 37 year old... The eff.. But keeping it within safe age range of five or so years ain't so bad.
 
CubaTBird said:
DUDE... Did you not study up on askmen.com? You don't talk about your past relationships with a woman your out on a date on...

http://www.askmen.com/dating/heidi_150/155b_dating_girl.html

As for her phone ringing... Did you play on it? Tease her about such things.
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well, she started talking about her past relationships. i didn't want to. she talked and talked and talked. uh, she is a gurl.

i can't recall playing on it. i believe she apologized 20 times.
 
Raven VII said:
Dude, the post above is right. Talking about past relationships = big no no. Especially talking about the wrongs of past relationships. If she asks, always stay positive, always tell her how wonderful your past girlfriends are, and how cordially you broke up - "our lives went on different paths" or some such BS. Now, she'll basically wonder if she dates you, then you two break up, and you go to another girl, will you share all the sordid details about this girl?

I'm not saying never to share past relationships with a girl. If/when you two become an actual relationship - ie gf/bf, then you can tell her all you want. But first few dates? Bad idea.

I think you're officially in her Friend Zone now.

PS. I would not like it if the girl keeps blabbering on the damn phone during our date either. It's not just "grrls". It's plain unrespectful to you. From what you wrote, I personally would nix her on the spot. Don't feel guilty because she paid for your beer. It's just, what, $4? Anybody (anyone that's half-way cool, that is) would've paid.
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d'oh!

i hate the friend zone when sharing it with grrls.

well, i somehow placed her on ice for a while. she said she would contact me when she gets back from her trip to greece.

lets see.
 
This "gurl" as you put it, seems to be an alpha female with her being so busy with a lot of extra curricular.
 
imacintel said:
heard this on the radio:


NEVER USE IT'S NOT YOU IT'S ME!
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....yeah I just used that exact line. I felt corny as hell using it - but I didn't care. I needed to get away. Fast.

Oh, and I too hate the 'friend's zone.'
 
Look if a girl wants to be your friend its for two reasons and thats it.

REASON NUMERO UNO..

She's got barely any guy friends and your a cool guy she could see herself hanging out with... BUT THATS IT... She will never see you in a physical way no matter how much you hope for.

REASON NUMBER DOS...

She wants you out of her life forever and her saying lets just be friends is her way of letting you go. If your like COOL YEAH LETS BE FRIENDS and try to call her when she has that mindset, she will politely ignore you..

daz it' my peeps'.. daz it... :eek:
 
CubaTBird said:
Look if a girl wants to be your friend its for two reasons and thats it.

REASON NUMERO UNO..

She's got barely any guy friends and your a cool guy she could see herself hanging out with... BUT THATS IT... She will never see you in a physical way no matter how much you hope for.

REASON NUMBER DOS...

She wants you out of her life forever and her saying lets just be friends is her way of letting you go. If your like COOL YEAH LETS BE FRIENDS and try to call her when she has that mindset, she will politely ignore you..

daz it' my peeps'.. daz it... :eek:
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Or reason number tres...

She is currently riding another horse and has not yet decided if she wants to change. But wants to keep you around just in case. ;)
 
Raven VII said:
Dude, the post above is right. Talking about past relationships = big no no. Especially talking about the wrongs of past relationships. If she asks, always stay positive, always tell her how wonderful your past girlfriends are, and how cordially you broke up - "our lives went on different paths" or some such BS. Now, she'll basically wonder if she dates you, then you two break up, and you go to another girl, will you share all the sordid details about this girl?

I'm not saying never to share past relationships with a girl. If/when you two become an actual relationship - ie gf/bf, then you can tell her all you want. But first few dates? Bad idea.

I think you're officially in her Friend Zone now.

PS. I would not like it if the girl keeps blabbering on the damn phone during our date either. It's not just "grrls". It's plain unrespectful to you. From what you wrote, I personally would nix her on the spot. Don't feel guilty because she paid for your beer. It's just, what, $4? Anybody (anyone that's half-way cool, that is) would've paid.
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I've been skimming through this thread and I just had to put in my 2 cents. I've spent my last 4 years in university figuring women out and although it was slow going at first, by 4th year, it seemed like women were jumping out of the woodwork to hook up, and two at the same time once :D .

ANYWAY, there's really aren't any big no nos in dating because you can react to every situation with charm. Mentioning past relationships kills things ONLY if you talk badly about your exs. When girls ask me about why my past relationships didn't work out, I always respond by saying this "It didn't work out because our paths weren't meant to cross forever. Let me tell you instead about the great things she did for me that I'd rather remember her by..." and list all the massages, the favors and great stuff my exes did. This tells the girls 2 very important things:

1) You aren't the type that's bitter and burns bridges, becoming one of those psycho exes
2) You have high standards and if she wants a chance with you, she's going to have to top your ex (=EVEN MORE massages. hehehe).

The same goes for acting nerdy or really needy. If you do it as if you're making fun of that personality, it only cements the woman's attraction for you because it shows that you're completely secure and that you're also playful. For example, if a girl starts talking about how her computer isn't working at home, instead of instantly volunteering to fix it, you can scrunch up your nose, hunch your shoulders, and say in a very nasal voice something like "I can rewrite your drivers and recompile your kernel as soon as I finish my weekly dungeons and dragons session and that star trek marathon" and then relax, smile and look at her like she's stupid :).

Anyway, as long as you're calm, playful and charming (easy to say, hard to learn), you can pretty much score on every date.

ooh. and one last thing: the cell phone thing is a definite indicator of disinterest. She's probably in touch with all her girlfriends and discussing with them how to get out of the date. If you get a girl attracted to you, she'll turn off her phone without asking because she wouldn't want any distractions interrupting your amazing personality.
 
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