Now, the Bare-Phone Sneetches had phones smooth and sleek.
They carried them proudly, so slim and unique.
But the Case-Phoner Sneetches wore rubber and fluff,
With bumpers and covers and shatterproof stuff.
Now, that rubbery case wasn’t really so big.
It was just a small shield for their digital gig.
But, because they had cases, the Bare-Phoners bragged,
“We are chic! We are sleek!” while the Case-Phoners sagged.
When the Bare-Phoners texted or swiped on the street,
They’d ignore the poor Casers they happened to meet.
If they saw them snap photos or scroll through a feed,
They would snort, “What a clunky monstrosity! Plebe!”
Then one day, it seems, when the Casers were moping,
Just sitting around with their heavy phones, hoping,
A stranger drove up in a gadgety car!
“My friends,” said the man, “I know just who you are.
I am Sylvester McTechie McScreen, and I say,
I can take all your clunky old cases away!
“For a measly ten dollars, my Case-Snatching-Zap
Will pop off the silicone, plastic, and strap!”
So they paid him the money, they stepped through his door,
And they walked out with phones that were bulky no more!
They had smooth apple logos and glassy backplates,
And they cheered, “We are finally one of the greats!”
But the old Bare-Phone Sneetches were terribly mad.
“This is awful! This ruins the status we had!
If everyone's phone is all shiny and thin,
Then how do we know who is out and who's in?”
Mr. McScreen gave a sly little cough.
“If you want to be different, it’s time to show off!
Just step through my Case-Clapping-Chamber, and then,
You’ll have military-grade carbon fiber again!
It’s twenty a pop, but your screens will be safe!
”So the Bare-Phoners rushed to his gadgety place.
They emerged with huge covers of neon and black,
With pop-sockets stuck to the middle and back.
“We’re the elite!” cried the Case-Phoners now.
“Your phones are too fragile! They’ll shatter! Pow! Wow!
”So the new Bare-Phone Sneetches felt totally lost,
And they ran to McScreen, never minding the cost.
Then, of course, it was madness! A terrible race!
Through the pop-it-off, slap-it-on, phone-swapping space!
Cases on! Cases off! Rubber, leather, and clear!
They changed them and swapped them and dropped all their gear!
They ran through the clunkers and un-clunking zappers,
Exchanging their bumpers and glittering wrappers.
Until neither the Casers nor Bare-Phoners knew
Who was exactly which, or what was exactly who.
When every last penny was spent on the tech,
Sylvester McScreen drove away from the wreck.
He laughed as he counted his big stack of green,
“They never will learn! No, they won’t! Not a bean!”
But the Sneetches learned something quite useful that day.
The day they decided that gadgets were just okay.
They realized a phone is a phone, end of story,
Whether wrapped up in plastic or in its bare glory.
And they all texted happily, safe in the knowledge,
That worrying 'bout cases is best left in college.