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Fathers Reaction To Facebook Post

andrewlgm said:
Am I the only one here on the side of the kid?

Am I the only who would've gone to my child and said: "hey, I'm sorry you feel this way, I will not go into the house you've just cleaned with my dirty, muddy shoes - and I'll give you an allowance for all the chores you do, so you can save some money - or maybe ask the cleaning lady to help you out when you need time off"

I for one believe this girl. Why? Because at 14 I was babysitting 2 sisters, cooking and cleaning my house after high school so my parents could work and pay off the bills. And I'm a guy. Did I complain? Yes.

Did my father pull out a gun and shoot off something as personal and important as my laptop? No. The show of violence is in my view unacceptable.

Having said that - I live in NYC with some of the most disrespectful, rude and arrogant children I have ever met. They don't speak, or ask, they curse you for any reason. I'm afraid of taking the train with some of these kids, and pretty much try to stay clear of public transportation after 3 PM. In my view this is due to lack of parenting, and a few other factors - poverty, gangs, drugs, teenage behavior, bullying, etc. So in the extreme versions of too much parenting and too little.

I guess I'll take this guy.
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For gawd's sake did you listen to the video or just base your comments on what you think happened? The dad clearly outlined the "chores" and they were nothing like what the girl wrote (big surprise there).

And you want her to get PAID to wash her own clothes and make her own bed? Aside from those two things she doesn't have much else to do there.

Everything I have heard come to light makes it appear this teen had issues when living with her mom and was sent to dad to help straighten her out. The initial attempts failed so he resorted to this out of utter exasperation. Not rage, not crazed with anger: exasperation. He didn't just instantly run outside and do this on a whim. And the mom apparently agreed since one of the rounds was from her.



Michael
 
iJohnHenry said:
Mom, or Step-Mom?? Big difference.

He said, she said, except we have not heard her side yet.
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He clearly referred to mom as "mom" and stepmom as "stepmom." Considering his stepson was not around for most of the teen's life I think it is safe to assume she is not referred to as "mom."

I think by now would have heard from mom had he made any of this up or it was not true.



Michael
 
Firestar said:
But you don't know who's right (or if either of them are).
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I know just as much as anyone else--actually I would say more so based on some of the comments here.

It doesn't take much to compare the never-expected-to-get-challenged temper tantrum of a teen to the thought out and public response of dad and conclude that he is going to be more believable than her.





Michael
 
Is he being a hypocrite? Because in a way he did what his daughter did. But this time, with 20+ million views.

She's only lived with him 6 months. She's apparently been grounded for 3 months before this. Could there be other types of hard feelings going on there? Like with the step mom?

She's a kid. She'll make mistakes and she won't fully grasp how the world works. Does this warrant punishment or understanding? Not exactly an easy answer there. But if you choose punishment, you still have to ask yourself, how much punishment? Is this punishment too harsh? Keep in mind he 1. Shot her laptop. 2. Is making her pay for software and possibly other things (and of course a new laptop) 3. Is grounding her for what sounds like a LONG period of time. 4. Humiliated her in a huge way. 20+ million views on YouTube alone.

He complains that she swears, but he swears too. Where's he drawing the line here? Is swearing okay or isn't it?

Again, the whole idea about her being young... Some people's perspectives on things are just off. This may not be the way to "fix" things. This might just make her fear having something else of hers shot. Does it fix the root of the problem?

You might say 15 isn't young... But you'd be surprised. Times change. Levels of maturity can change. There's a good chance people of that age were more mature in your day, but things don't always stay the same. It would be arrogant to think they always do.

Punishment like this doesn't get to the root of the problem. Strike fear, maybe.
 
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Yumunum said:
She's a kid. She'll make mistakes and she won't fully grasp how the world works. Does this warrant punishment or understanding? Not exactly an easy answer there. But if you choose punishment, you still have to ask yourself, how much punishment? Is this punishment too harsh? Keep in mind he 1. Shot her laptop. 2. Is making her pay for software and possibly other things (and of course a new laptop) 3. Is grounding her for what sounds like a LONG period of time. 4. Humiliated her in a huge way. 20+ million views on YouTube alone.
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Exactly, the Dad himself seems to have the maturity of a 14 year old. I'd say both punishment and understanding was due here. Understanding that they have only lived together a short while and there will be tension, but punishment as the way she voiced her grievances was inappropriate.

This guy has a chance to get to know his daughter better, and pulling stupid stunts like this isn't going to help.
 
While I myself would love to shoot the **** out of a crappy computer, I don't believe this is the best way to deal with the issues in the family.

When I was a student support person, it was standard practice to get the parents in. Their behaviour told us mountains of info we could use to help the teenager. If the parent was angry or uncaring, we would ease the teen into extra curricular activities so we could try sort things out further and get them into a supportive environment than their home. It sounds like she didn't feel happy/safe in her own home.

When I did stupid **** like this, my parents would take away the car. Much more effective when you live in the Country. To be fair, I still find chores harder than my job.
 
Once again...

It's a tired format (one that has been done much funnier and much more concisely) and he's getting exactly what he wants from it - publicity.

:rolleyes:

You'd think some of you were new to the internet.
 
maril1111 said:
i am ignoring him because so far he has said completely weird things in 2 posts.

In the NZ girl thread he asks if the guy has done it yet.

And than this.

He is the 1st person this year who is going on my ignore list. Congrats to him!
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Too serious, the internet must be taken.
 
He owns the laptop and is well within his rights to do whatever with it. I think it may conjure a better understanding of what little she actually owns or produces in the world. You grow up a lot faster when you only have yourself to rely on.
 
There are people out there who would kill (hopefully not) for a laptop. I wouldn't have destroyed it, I'd have donated it to a worthy cause. At least do something positive with the whole thing.
 
"Dang internet ruined these lazy kids I tell ya.. goin to shoot up her laptop with my .45 and cuss a lot, post it in youtube, maybe she'll understand that!" Lol what a retard.:D
 
skunk said:
He probably shouldn't hold his breath. His technique is crap.
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You're judging him based on your culture, and preconceived notions and not knowing the other side of the story. We do only see one side and also what may be acceptable in one part of the country or world may not be in another.

My point is that there are lot of criticisms about how he's handling the situation, some of the criticism I think is valid and some I would disagree.

I also think a lot of criticisms come from non-parents and until someone becomes a parent people have no idea how hard it is. Personally, I was guilty of this before becoming a father, now I see the difficulties.

I don't own a gun, and I don't think shooting something is the greatest thing, but I can see what he's trying to do and that is change his daughter for the better. I'm also from part of the country where gun ownership is not a huge thing, where as people from the south and west do own guns and its a totally different culture.
 
maflynn said:
You're judging him based on your culture, and preconceived notions and not knowing the other side of the story. We do only see one side and also what may be acceptable in one part of the country or world may not be in another.

My point is that there are lot of criticisms about how he's handling the situation, some of the criticism I think is valid and some I would disagree.

I also think a lot of criticisms come from non-parents and until someone becomes a parent people have no idea how hard it is. Personally, I was guilty of this before becoming a father, now I see the difficulties.

I don't own a gun, and I don't think shooting something is the greatest thing, but I can see what he's trying to do and that is change his daughter for the better. I'm also from part of the country where gun ownership is not a huge thing, where as people from the south and west do own guns and its a totally different culture.
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I'm a parent and I see plenty to criticize with what he's done.

It seems like he has decided to reduce himself to her level - fight immaturity with immaturity. I can only imagine how hard it is to raise a teenager (mine are only 4) - but from some of the information we've been given - she hasn't lived with him for that long. And if she does have the behavioral issues he's described, wouldn't acting like an adult have a greater impact on her? Instead, he's chosen to act like a vindictive kid - and videotape his actions and share it with the world.

Maybe he's done the right thing - and she'll clean up her act and all will be right with the family. I just don't see how that's possible when he has chosen to humiliate her and embarrass himself. Frankly, it's something I would expect out of the child, not the parent.
 
Something keeps telling me that God would have done likewise if one of His "children" had misbehaved. According to Scripture, He would even let it out on sons and daughters to the third and fourth generation. There you have a really strict and vindictive Father. I feel sorry for Jesus.
 
andrewlgm said:
Am I the only one here on the side of the kid?

Am I the only who would've gone to my child and said: "hey, I'm sorry you feel this way, I will not go into the house you've just cleaned with my dirty, muddy shoes - and I'll give you an allowance for all the chores you do, so you can save some money - or maybe ask the cleaning lady to help you out when you need time off"

I for one believe this girl. Why? Because at 14 I was babysitting 2 sisters, cooking and cleaning my house after high school so my parents could work and pay off the bills. And I'm a guy. Did I complain? Yes.

Did my father pull out a gun and shoot off something as personal and important as my laptop? No. The show of violence is in my view unacceptable.

Having said that - I live in NYC with some of the most disrespectful, rude and arrogant children I have ever met. They don't speak, or ask, they curse you for any reason. I'm afraid of taking the train with some of these kids, and pretty much try to stay clear of public transportation after 3 PM. In my view this is due to lack of parenting, and a few other factors - poverty, gangs, drugs, teenage behavior, bullying, etc. So in the extreme versions of too much parenting and too little.

I guess I'll take this guy.
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Exactly. Who in their right mind thinks that the right way to react to a rude Facebook post - by a member of your own family no less - is to pull out a gun and start shooting their possessions? The guy needs some anger management classes if you ask me, utterly pathetic.
 
Moyank24 said:
I'm a parent and I see plenty to criticize with what he's done.

It seems like he has decided to reduce himself to her level - fight immaturity with immaturity. I can only imagine how hard it is to raise a teenager (mine are only 4) - but from some of the information we've been given - she hasn't lived with him for that long. And if she does have the behavioral issues he's described, wouldn't acting like an adult have a greater impact on her? Instead, he's chosen to act like a vindictive kid - and videotape his actions and share it with the world.

Maybe he's done the right thing - and she'll clean up her act and all will be right with the family. I just don't see how that's possible when he has chosen to humiliate her and embarrass himself. Frankly, it's something I would expect out of the child, not the parent.
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Exactly. Well said.

That was not good parenting.

Oh, I'm a parent, so I guess my opinion counts.
 
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