First Date

[floriflee]

I'm a little curious why it is so difficult to respect another person's decision not to have sex until marriage.

If that's what they are doing, let them do it and leave them be, Obviously, you think differently on the matter of morals, so, whilst remaining polite as possible, you may not be the best canditate for advice as far as they are concerned.

I think a lot of people tend to be a bit skeptical that it can be done. So many people give in to their urges even though they may be opposed to pre-marital sex. I've seen that happen with some friends. However, it can be done because I know plenty of people who have successfully abstained until marriage. It's a matter of willpower and working on not getting yourself into precarious situations (no matter how much you want it). Limits definitely have to be set and stuck with. It's like everything else that requires discipline. You have to remain focused on sticking to your goals and staying within your limits. Easy to say, harder to do, but it definitely can be done.

 

[OutThere]

I think a lot of people tend to be a bit skeptical that it can be done. So many people give in to their urges even though they may be opposed to pre-marital sex. I've seen that happen with some friends. However, it can be done because I know plenty of people who have successfully abstained until marriage. It's a matter of willpower and working on not getting yourself into precarious situations (no matter how much you want it). Limits definitely have to be set and stuck with.

I can respect the decision to abstain until marriage, I just question why someone would put so much effort into denying themselves something so natural and pleasurable....why not focus on something that is legitimately bad for you, like smoking, eating junk food or watching too much TV?

 

[Josh]

I can respect the decision to abstain until marriage, I just question why someone would put so much effort into denying themselves something so natural and pleasurable....why not focus on something that is legitimately bad for you, like smoking, eating junk food or watching too much TV?

Morals...religion...self-respect....safety....the list goes on and on.

 

[CubaTBird]

so here we are on our very first date *PIST PIST* is it cool if i hold your hand *PIST PIST* *boom boom* lets go lala lets make it last forever and ever and.............

lol blink 182 comes to mind whenever i view this thread

 

[MarkCollette]

I'm a little curious why it is so difficult to respect another person's decision not to have sex until marriage.

If that's what they are doing, let them do it and leave them be, Obviously, you think differently on the matter of morals, so, whilst remaining polite as possible, you may not be the best canditate for advice as far as they are concerned.

Umm, I don't think that I disrespected anything. I wasn't disagreeing with the guy's decision to abstain at all. All I was trying to explain was that right now his will is strong, but it might not be later. So, if he starts really struggling with it later, then I hope he would be responsible enough to create a safety net. I'm not asking to to adopt my morals, I'm asking him what his fallback plan is, given his morals.

I plan on not crashing my car. But, still, in case I do, I have road side assistance, a cell phone, and candles and a lighter wrapped in saran wrap in my glove box.

And I know the argument that if you have the condoms then maybe you'll think it's alright to break your vow. But, really, believe me, having road side assistance doesn't make me flirt with crashing my car.

 

[asherman13]

But, really, believe me, having road side assistance doesn't make me flirt with crashing my car.

Exactly. I've heard that "music makes you lose control" (), so being prepared can't really hurt. I do, however, understand that you don't want to have it fall out of your wallet or whatever when you pay for dinner or a movie, as that could drastically hurt your relationship.

I advise that you get an emergency kit for your car, if you don't already have one. Use a small backpack if you can, and keep stuff like flares, a lighter, some triangular bandages, a basic First Aid kit, and maybe some Tylenol or whatever. Tuck a few condoms into the kit as well, because truthfully they have lots of uses. You could, for example, open one condom and put a box (or tube, whatever) of matches in it and then tie it off. The other condoms are for if you need to waterproof other stuff or if that condom breaks or whatever. Wikipedia says that condoms can be used to carry water, waterproof small objects, cover rifle muzzles, and other useful stuff. By keeping a couple non-opened condoms in the kit, you both retain the ability to waterproof stuff and well, use a condom for their original use, just in case you do have a lapse in judgement.

 

[Lau]

That means that if a condom ever falls out of your wallet in an embarrassing situation, you can truthfully say "It's for waterproofing a small object!" Fantastic!

 

[Josh]

That means that if a condom ever falls out of your wallet in an embarrasing situation, you can truthfully say "It's for waterproofing a small object!" Fantastic!

Perhaps you might want to leave that part out...

 

[MarkCollette]

By keeping a couple non-opened condoms in the kit, you both retain the ability to waterproof stuff and well, use a condom for their original use, just in case you do have a lapse in judgement.

I'm not sure how much temperature degrades a condom though. Up here in Canada I wouldn't want to leave my good CDs in my car, let alone condoms.

Plus, the condoms I use are so big, I don't think they'd fit in my car anyway

 

[Josh]

I'm not sure how much temperature degrades a condom though. Up here in Canada I wouldn't want to leave my good CDs in my car, let alone condoms.

Plus, the condoms I use are so big, I don't think they'd fit in my car anyway

I can't say for certain, as I can't recall where I got the info, but I guess very prolonged warm temps are a no-go for condoms. Supposedly, this is the reason why it is not advised to keep them in your wallet, since they can expire sooner and be more prone to a bust.

Me, I just keep them on a paper-towel like roll, a fold out sheet in my trench coat, or under my keyboard at work...

 

[floriflee]

I'm not sure how much temperature degrades a condom though. Up here in Canada I wouldn't want to leave my good CDs in my car, let alone condoms.

Plus, the condoms I use are so big, I don't think they'd fit in my car anyway

I thought Canada was just the land of snow, wind, and tundras...

 

[nbs2]

I was thinking about this whole sex thing the other day (when on a crowded train, there are things you don't talk about on your cell phone...)I hope she doesn't have crabs...

Anyway, I was wondering this - people that view sex as simply a pleasurable thing, and that the desire shouldn't be denied and so on and so forth, then what is the big deal with one night stands? I have heard enough women complain about how "I slept with him, and now he doesn't return my calls." Or "I slept with her and now he is way too clingy." Or "I'm so ashamed I slept with him." Men have a lot of the same complaints. If sex is just a pleasure thing, then why do people treat it as something that drive a relationship to another level? I'll be honest - physical pleasure isn't why I hold my wife's hand. For me it is an emotional/mental thing. I view sex in the same light.

 

[revenuee]

I was thinking about this whole sex thing the other day (when on a crowded train, there are things you don't talk about on your cell phone...)I hope she doesn't have crabs...

Anyway, I was wondering this - if we do view sex as simply a pleasurable thing, and that the desire shouldn't be denied and so on and so forth, then what is the big deal with one night stands? I have heard enough women complain about how "I slept with him, and now he doesn't return my calls." Or "I slept with her and now he is way too clingy." Or "I'm so ashamed I slept with him." Men have a lot of the same complaints. If sex is just a pleasure thing, then why do people treat it as something that drive a relationship to another level? I'll be honest - physical pleasure isn't why I hold my wife's hand. For me it is an emotional/mental thing. I view sex in the same light.

i'm quoting this because it think you raise so interesting points, my comments are in no way directed at you specifically

i like sex, i like one night stands, i'm not ashamed of anything i've done.

there are a lot of taboo's about sex in the west --- you look at taoism or hinduism and sex for pleasure is encouraged, as orgasm leads to states of mental awareness ... the problem with the west is that we are a goal driven society and the end result is more important, getting off in this case.

This is the problem that most people experience in a one night stand is that each person is there for themselves. Compound that with male premature ejaculation and the fact that most women have never experienced a vaginal orgasm while some have never experienced and orgasm at all, you have a society of people with HUGE hang ups about sex.

if you are not into the spirituality of it that's cool ... but i recommend that every guy look into male multiple orgasms as well as learn about the female anatomy and how erogenous zones work, how the G-spot works, and any other information they can get. Talk to your female friends about what turns on them on, how they like to be touched.

there is nothing wrong with asking for help, you and the women in your life will be much happier for it.

 

[MarkCollette]

Me, I just keep them on a paper-towel like roll, a fold out sheet in my trench coat, or under my keyboard at work...

That's very industrious. I used to just wear mine as a hat, but it was so loose, it'd fall off. And I was worried that the lube would create an ecological disaster.

Later, when I became a crime fighting super hero, I'd put a bowling ball in it, and swing it around, to clobber enemies. If I swung it at traffic lights just right, I can swing from street to street, like Spiderman.

When I was in University, some kids would fill condoms with water, and drop them on people. I was going to do it, but the town's water supply ran out when it was half full. I think they used it in Mt Rushmore, when one of the guys got a sex change, and needed implants.

 

[MarkCollette]

I thought Canada was just the land of snow, wind, and tundras...

Well, it is. It's just that we make our beaches, forests, lakes, plains, cities, and roads out of snow wind and tundras. Hell, I myself am really just a tundra, with a keyboard.

 

[floriflee]

Well, it is. It's just that we make our beaches, forests, lakes, plains, cities, and roads out of snow wind and tundras. Hell, I myself am really just a tundra, with a keyboard.

Oh, really? Well, I guess a country that size really CAN have it all then. [/joking]