I ask them what their religious affiliation is and then they hang out. Just ask if they've heard the "good news" about Scientology or something like that. They don't want to talk to fanatics.
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Funny stuff to say to phone salespeople.
- Thread starter PowerFullMac
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Haha, I just got a call just then. He was trying to sell me a Nokia something-something with a 3 megapixel camera and all those fancy things (he even said polyphonic ringtones). I said to him that I hate Nokia's. He asked which phone I would like, a samsung, an LG and I replied "Nah mate, I've got an iPhone. I am extremely happy with that." He just hung up. Hahahaha, I don't think he believed me because I live in Australia.
I've never gotten a call at my house but I was babysitting once and got a telemarketer call but I just said that they weren't home.
On the other hand, my brother is irresponsible and uses my home phone number when he applies for credit. So I ended up getting alot of calls from debt collectors and they wouldn't stop calling so I told them he didn't live there and the next time they called I started to speak a different language and they tried talking to me in french so I just kept saying the same thing over and over and they eventually hung up and never called back.
On the other hand, my brother is irresponsible and uses my home phone number when he applies for credit. So I ended up getting alot of calls from debt collectors and they wouldn't stop calling so I told them he didn't live there and the next time they called I started to speak a different language and they tried talking to me in french so I just kept saying the same thing over and over and they eventually hung up and never called back.
A friend of mine tried to set up Paypal about 5 or so years back, and since we were at my house we used my phonenumber. It didn't work but a couple of years later we started getting phonecalls from money related companies. They always ask for him by name and it's the only time he's ever used my phone number. I had no idea Paypal would give up info like that to debt collectors.
Pipex also did a similar thing to us. My dad got a new debit card and forgot to transfer the broadband payment to it. So rather than send a letter or ring us up to fix this problem they shut off our internet and forwarded our details onto a debt collection agency, despite my dad never having bad debt! We dropped Pipex and moved to BT who also upped us to 4x the speed Pipex said we could get.
Damn companies!
I live in UK armed forces family quarters and anytime somone asks to speak to the home owners say " sure just phone 118 118 and ask for her majesty the queen" then hang up
Start with a "This phone call may be recorded for quality assurance purposes." Then, ask the rep if they accept the $3.95 a minute charge. Talk to them to your hearts desire and send a bill their way. Record it if you have to...and profit.
IIRC, the DNC regulations have (unfortunately) exemptions for:
- Non Profits
- Companies with which you have a "Pre Existing Relationship"
(a "Survey" to check on the quality of delivery of a magazine subscription ... and of course, an offer to renew ... is a common one I get) - Political Advertisements
The key to any telemarketer is to take control of the dialog.
In general, when one of these call, I let the caller know that I know that they may have a LEGAL waiver, but not an ETHICAL one.
I'll sometimes ask who exactly they are representing (which Charity, etc) and who they are (usually not the same).
For Charties:
If its someone that I have never given money to, I tell them that I never donate over the phone "No Matter How Worthy The Cause" (a key phrase), but I'd be happy to look at something that they mail me.
Since these are often illegal boiler rooms, we don't ever get anything in the mail. I then tell them to put me on their 'Do Not Call'. In general, I tend to do this last, because in some instances I've had callers hang up as soon as I say it, and don't get
For a Charity that I have donated to, I tell them that I find telephone solicitations so offensive that their decision of calling me has jeopardized them being a beneficiary: they're on the edge of losing all donations from me forever.
I make it clear that they are to never call back and if they ever do, I'm boycotting them off. It seems that the "B Word" seems to really get their attention. I then tell them to put me on their 'Do Not Call'.
For "Surveys",
If its for Neilson, I just DNC and get it over with.
The ones that I pay more attention to are the ones that are "subscription quality control", which is a euphanism for a magazine calling to get you to renew, and they're abusing their "existing relationship" exemption.
I'll tell them flat out that we have no "existing relationship" via the telephone medium because because I've explicitly chosen to never provide to them my telephone number. I then tell them that I know that the real reason that they're calling is to try to get me to renew, and that (same message as above): I find their solicitation to be so offensive that their decision of calling me has jeopardized them being a beneficiary of my business. Yup, pretty much the same message as above, namely: "You screwed up, and now you'll pay through lost business".
I then give them two instrutions: I tell them to notify the magazine company that whoever thought it was a good idea to call me should be fired, because his decision is prompting me to consider cancelling my business (because I find it so offensive) and then I tell them to put me on their "Do Not Call".
If the person on the phone has been rude, or of its more than the first call from a particular entity, I have a boilerplate letter that I drafted up a few years ago: I'll look up the magazine's email address and fire off an email to put them on notice. I'm confident that an actual LETTER (even if via email) raises some hair in the magazine office. I've also at times put a copy of this letter online, and included the URL in the nastygram email, which serves as a reminder that their offensive action is now public record and capable of being retrieved by Google search.
For Political calls,
Locally, these are almost always tape recordings, so no live human to interact with. And because its the Politicians that make up the laws, there's no way that they will ever not make themselves exempt. I usually just hang up, then wait ~15 seconds and check to make sure that the call disconnected (which is required by law).
I am tempted sometimes to listen to the entire message to find out who is calling, then go find the phone number of that candiate's HQ and place a call to a live human being, asking about their recording, how can I get on their DNC, etc, etc. In general, I know that it won't do any good, since Politicians also typically set up a new corporation for every election, so the next time that the same group calls, they're technically a different legal entity and are thus not bound by the DNC restrictions placed on the first. It would probably take quite a bit of time and a couple of good lawyers to make a dent in these guys' practices...it would probably be more effective to send them a notice somehow that simply says "You called me and your opposition did not, so I'm voting for the other guy because he respects my privacy".
-hh
comcast likes to call me a lot for some reason. i have no need for cable, as i don't watch tv, and i might as well sell my television. but in any event, once they say their from comcast (or dish etc) i just say i don't have a tv, and they get all confused.
If I'm in a good mood, it's something like:
Oh thank GOD its you! Were being invaded by zombie Segway rider gangs from the planet Zimbo! Pleeeeeease sell me your product! I need it now! Do you have access to Einstein Express? I need it delivered in my hand RIGHT NOW! <pause> Oh no! They got Timmy! <click>
But if I'm not, I give a low farty raspberry and hang up.
Oh thank GOD its you! Were being invaded by zombie Segway rider gangs from the planet Zimbo! Pleeeeeease sell me your product! I need it now! Do you have access to Einstein Express? I need it delivered in my hand RIGHT NOW! <pause> Oh no! They got Timmy! <click>
But if I'm not, I give a low farty raspberry and hang up.
Generally I just tell them I'm not interested and hang up the phone as quickly as possible. They're really not worth me investing my time into.
More than anything, I hate picking up a call only to find that they couldn't even bother to sic a live person on me. That's just insulting, dude. If it's a recorded pitch, I might sit the handset on the table and let it go on for a while. Eventually I'll hear the disconnected signal and hang up. Probably doesn't matter to them in the least, but it's another few minutes where I'm not getting beseiged by other telemarketers.
More than anything, I hate picking up a call only to find that they couldn't even bother to sic a live person on me. That's just insulting, dude. If it's a recorded pitch, I might sit the handset on the table and let it go on for a while. Eventually I'll hear the disconnected signal and hang up. Probably doesn't matter to them in the least, but it's another few minutes where I'm not getting beseiged by other telemarketers.
Having worked as a telemarketer last year, it has to be the worst job I've ever done.
It's utterly depressing ringing people when you know they don't want to talk to you, and you feel like you deserve the abuse because you're on their side really.
Doesn't help when you're told you're not meeting targets - for goodness sake if people don't want to talk, then they don't want to talk.
I just normally tell them I'm not interested and hang up. If they're persistent and won't leave me be, then the fun starts. I normally speak Welsh to them and give them hell.
It's utterly depressing ringing people when you know they don't want to talk to you, and you feel like you deserve the abuse because you're on their side really.
Doesn't help when you're told you're not meeting targets - for goodness sake if people don't want to talk, then they don't want to talk.
I just normally tell them I'm not interested and hang up. If they're persistent and won't leave me be, then the fun starts. I normally speak Welsh to them and give them hell.
Telemarketer
Most are in a hurry to give their pitch and make a sell. I like to make conversation, keep them on the phone, asking all sorts of questions.
Most are in a hurry to give their pitch and make a sell. I like to make conversation, keep them on the phone, asking all sorts of questions.
I was planning on buying an iPhone but wanted my old mobile number. Rang up Virgin Mobile and asked for a PAC code. Obviously they wouldn't want a customer leaving them so they tried flogging me all kinds of phones and deals.
They said "What phone would you like then?"
"iPhone"
He gave up.
I was planning on buying an iPhone but wanted my old mobile number. Rang up Virgin Mobile and asked for a PAC code. Obviously they wouldn't want a customer leaving them so they tried flogging me all kinds of phones and deals.
They said "What phone would you like then?"
"iPhone"
He gave up.
Ha!
I like your signature, too! Made my day! Its dogg though, with 2 gs, dont ask me why
i always feel kinda bad being a jerk as i know that people are just trying to make a living, but at the same time it is an annoyance.
i don't purposely be a jerk unless they're interrupting me when i'm trying to say no.
Actually sit there, listen to them act like you really enjoy it ... spin it out for 30 hour.
Offer to order a whole bunch.
Then say you don't have a credit card, and could you send the entire order out and bill you later.
When they ask you for your address, say you don't have one -- that you are living in your car.
But you can wait for delivery on the corner of third and main on Friday, and you'll be the guy in the faded green Pinto.
Offer to order a whole bunch.
Then say you don't have a credit card, and could you send the entire order out and bill you later.
When they ask you for your address, say you don't have one -- that you are living in your car.
But you can wait for delivery on the corner of third and main on Friday, and you'll be the guy in the faded green Pinto.
my dad says that "this is the butler, the master is out, can i take a message?"
that does the trick
that does the trick
While these are fun stories to read, I figure the best (least stressful to the poor minimum wage kid on the other end) is to just say "no thanks" and hang up. They take advantage of the fact that they know people are polite -- ever notice how they launch into their script, which is a bunch of long run-on sentences with no way for you to get a word in edgewise? They know you feel bad interrupting them. And then once they finally give you a chance in their script ("so, Mr. Jones, I just need to confirm your address so we can get started"), when you say no, they've got even more scripted material ready (and it too takes about 3 minutes for them to read).
So get over it. Learn to interrupt and say no. It took me a while, but I can do it now. I just interrupt, and politely say "No thanks, I'm not interested. I'm hanging up now, have a great day, bye!" and I'm done.
So get over it. Learn to interrupt and say no. It took me a while, but I can do it now. I just interrupt, and politely say "No thanks, I'm not interested. I'm hanging up now, have a great day, bye!" and I'm done.
