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Girlfriend cheated on me
- Thread starter TheDance511
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This WHOLE Experience & decision process & ultimate decision should be your next hit song
This WHOLE Experience & decision process & ultimate decision should be your next hit song
He's in a ROCK band, not <spit>country</spit>.
Hey, he's got a great start for the sterotypical country song though. All he needs is to insert a couple lines about his dog being run over and his truck getting smashed, and then add a mournfull chorus and he's good to go.
I'm not sure about the details of what happened since I didn't have a omni-view of your life. Even if I did, I'm not sure if I'd be in any position to judge anyone. I was never cheated on, but almost cheated once and I consider myself to be a moral and upstanding guy. While in some cases its pathological cheating, they may still be manifestations of mental illness, like borderline personality disorder. At they very minimum, they show that she's a very insecure person.
You can blame her all you want, its not going to change what happened. I think the best thing to do is to find some closure and move on. Stealing her **** as rightous retribution is certainly not going to help that. Just severe your ties and move on with your life, you're the better, morally upstanding person. Remember that!
You can blame her all you want, its not going to change what happened. I think the best thing to do is to find some closure and move on. Stealing her **** as rightous retribution is certainly not going to help that. Just severe your ties and move on with your life, you're the better, morally upstanding person. Remember that!
I can't believe how harsh some people here are
You only know one side of the story. And it's full of ambiguities, which even the OP acknowledges.
All these revenge fantasies is so much juvenile BS. I hope you don't treat people that way in real life and are only acting out on the net.
Find out what really happened first. And always treat your gf/bf with respect. If you loved them once, how can you call them names now? It speaks very poorly of you. When I hear people talking horrible stuff about their ex's I always think "yeah, well, YOU picked her/him - if they're so bad, that doesn't speak well of your ability to judge character, why should I trust you judgment of them this time either?".
Be good to people. Even if they wronged you, you'll lose more if you treat them badly. You can always say: "She did me wrong, but I always treated her like a gentleman". That counts for what kind of human being you are.
There's a difference between being a gentlemen and being walked all over. Bitching about people is always a waste of time, but people do change. At the end of the day we're humans not robots, and have feelings.
There's a difference between standing your ground and being a jerk. I understand that if you're 16 and getting your heart broken for the first time, the impulse to bad mouth the other person to make yourself feel better is tantalizing. But most of the posters here are not that young and should realize that fact. The bad mouthing, the theft/ destructive of material posession... their all hyper-masculine over compensation for the fact that you felt something for her/ maybe still feel something for her and she betrayed that feeling. You're hurt and you're trying to get over it through vindicative anger. But that won't let you get in touch with yourself and may in fact help permanently turn you in to a jerk. And... God know, the world doesn't need any more jerky guys. Take the high road and be a gentleman to her, if nothing else, it should mean some thing to you.
I didn't realize this until 20 and I'm only 22.
Maybe you need to chill. Try not to use some poor girl as a rebound. Being rebound sucks.
Well.... She lives on the same street as i do so everytime i leave i see her house...and let me tell you its not easy...i always see that guys car at her house and then i saw him once at best buy of all places...and he approached me and he said that he is sorry for what has happened and that it had to happen because he knows that hthey will find true love... andi go okay..well i hope you enjoy her...shes rly great... and i walked away.... i found closure somewhat btu it jsut aches all the time and i know you guys dont even have to say anyhting about this so i just appreciate this so very much and thank you... i just would like to say that ...im just getting my band together and trying to geto ver it mayeb at leastn ot make it hurt so much...but i am making strides so ya... i never thought this thread would go 5 pages though ..hahaha...
I'm glad you were calm and collected when he approached you.
That really is such a horrid situation to be in.
As far as aching all the time? I have a sinking feeling that you might be feeling that way for a bit longer. It's been about a month since my ex and I broke up, and I still get waves of panic at times.
I'm glad you were calm and collected when he approached you.
That really is such a horrid situation to be in.
As far as aching all the time? I have a sinking feeling that you might be feeling that way for a bit longer. It's been about a month since my ex and I broke up, and I still get waves of panic at times.
It's interesting that you should bring that up. I've noticed that when i was 16-20, the few girls i dated all wanted to play around and I was immature enough to think i was in love and wanted to be with them forever. Then as I approached 23 I realized that its me that's unsure now and the girls, much smarter and prettier than the ones i dated in highschool, are really about commitments. Breakups nowadays are always really bad for the girl. I'm not sure why that is, but it certainly some thing worthy of academic research.
i know you probably don't want to hear this now, but i would have pointed her out to everyone through the mike "and to the whore, i mean - - - - kissing that schmuck in the middle, IT'S OVER!"
Well that's what I would have done!
As for the whole rebound thing... well I was only 15 at the time but I was in a really good relationship. Nothing wrong with it, cept she had an internet "boyfriend" in Brazil too who she was certain she would meet one day. She was really beautiful, absolutely perfect. Then we both agreed it would be best for me to find someone else. I did! Her best mate. eep. we really got on quite well too. but one night, after a concert too (these keep cropping up huh!) the old girlfriend said "if you weren't seeing X I'd go out with you". Not to be confused with Dr. X. Anwyays. I dumped her the following day to which threw me into a situation where neither girl wanted to go out with me! ah well.
Next year I get into college, find a girl and spend the next 5 years in a funny relationship.
As far as aching all the time? I have a sinking feeling that you might be feeling that way for a bit longer. It's been about a month since my ex and I broke up, and I still get waves of panic at times.
A week doesn't go by that see's me and my girlfriend almost break up. I'm prone to panic attacks and I can always feel them rising. Hell I'm feeling one now, it's 4:36am and I can't sleep.
Funny too. I don't normally get upset when we argue. it's just like I know it will be okay or something.
as my history teacher once said, most people are good inside but when they do bad things they have to justify it in their mind somehow otherwise the fact that they're doing something terrible eats them inside and drives them crazy.
what she did was wrong, obviously, she may have said you were a bad boyfriend, maybe this was partially true, but if she had felt you were doing something that wasn't right, she should have told you or broken up with you a long time ago.
Not wanting to hurt your feelings is a bad excuse for not breaking up with you, because finding out after a year of her cheating on you hurts more than any break up.
Only if the girl thinks it's something bigger.
As far as aching all the time? I have a sinking feeling that you might be feeling that way for a bit longer. It's been about a month since my ex and I broke up, and I still get waves of panic at times.
When my gf of 4+ years and I broke up I felt sickening waves of sadness and panic for a few months before it started to get better. But it does get better.
A lot of you are mentioning panic. I can understand the sadness part; I felt miserable and sad and lonely and devastated at each of my break-ups, too. But panic? What for? Did you think the ex would come and attack you with an axe or something? I don't get it.
what if there are women at the gym?
Well, go somewhere where you won't be tempted to hook up with women. Make new friends? Sure, why not. Get a rebound girl? You'd screw it all up. You'd use the girl and you'll feel like crap. Lay off dating women for a while
i wrote a song about it...with several **** u's in it...every one has feelings even low grungey jobless rockers like me...
these feelings come and go, its part of youth. "Don't worry abou loosing this fish, there are plenty more bigger, better, tastier fish in the pond." Someone once told me that when I was younger and very heart broken. It's true. Everything heals with time.i wrote a song about it...with several **** u's in it...every one has feelings even low grungey jobless rockers like me...
Heh...I learned i have to control myself at least...im geting better and taking your advice to heart..but its just this feeling like i have this disgusting silk on me...im glad im so young though...and time goes on...im sure ill be okay
Heh...I learned i have to control myself at least...im geting better and taking your advice to heart..but its just this feeling like i have this disgusting silk on me...im glad im so young though...and time goes on...im sure ill be okay
I'm not sure if you play any sports or run, I find that vigrous cardio on a daily basis helps endorphine production in the brain and keeps the depression at bay.
Honestly man if a girl cheats on you it is because she has found something in somebody else that she cant find in you. Most likely she has gotten bored with you a simple tip I can give is that falling into the I Love You lets hug, kiss and talk about our day routine is what kills relationships.
Women like to be kept on their toes you need to surprise them every once in a while. I don't mean by her flowers I mean do something crazy an unexpected.
Life is very boring when you fall into a routine and so are relationships. In my opinion humans are not built for monogamy but out social structure is based on it and most people just follow. If you do choose to follow the socially acceptable path of monogamy don't let it become monotonous.
Let me tell you some things I do with girls that differentiate me from any other men in their lives.
Sometimes instead of doing the cliched movie and dinner I will take her to crash a wedding. I tell her to dress nice and I just show up to a strangers wedding. I walk in eat their food and make it a fun night, it instils a sense of danger and risk taking something women love.
This is a stupid one but when its raining instead of sending under cover I grab her hand and run into the rain.
I mean yeh it sounds stupid but it sets you apart and it keeps her thinking.
Other things like don't tell her all your secrets. Women love mystery and suspense never tell her everything about you even if you have been with her for 10 years. Keep thing hidden and make sure she knows they are hidden.
You might say i am an idiot but at the end of the day if there is one thing I am an expert on in this world it is women.
Women like to be kept on their toes you need to surprise them every once in a while. I don't mean by her flowers I mean do something crazy an unexpected.
Life is very boring when you fall into a routine and so are relationships. In my opinion humans are not built for monogamy but out social structure is based on it and most people just follow. If you do choose to follow the socially acceptable path of monogamy don't let it become monotonous.
Let me tell you some things I do with girls that differentiate me from any other men in their lives.
Sometimes instead of doing the cliched movie and dinner I will take her to crash a wedding. I tell her to dress nice and I just show up to a strangers wedding. I walk in eat their food and make it a fun night, it instils a sense of danger and risk taking something women love.
This is a stupid one but when its raining instead of sending under cover I grab her hand and run into the rain.
I mean yeh it sounds stupid but it sets you apart and it keeps her thinking.
Other things like don't tell her all your secrets. Women love mystery and suspense never tell her everything about you even if you have been with her for 10 years. Keep thing hidden and make sure she knows they are hidden.
You might say i am an idiot but at the end of the day if there is one thing I am an expert on in this world it is women.