Gwyneth Paltrow to Serve as Mentor in Apple's 'Planet of the Apps' Reality Series

[testcard]

It's weird that Gwyneth Paltrow will be the embodiment of femininity to an entire audience that has never seen a girl before....

Girl?

 

[2457282]

I do not subscribe to Apple music (probably never will), so this is all moot for me. Having said that, I don't really care anything about why she may not be the best choice. But, if it were me as the struggling App developer, I would love to have her in the room giving me a back rub or just standing there for me to stare at. Obviously this would not help with the App, but it would fulfill a nerd/geek fantasy or three.

 

[Gasu E.]

I hate Gwyneth paltrow.

I'll bet it's not mutual.

 

[Old Muley]

A complete nutter...

http://thinkprogress.org/culture/20...ng-about-everything-this-scientist-thinks-so/

 

[tedson]

Yet one more reason not to subscribe to Apple Music.

 

[doelcm82]

I hate Gwyneth paltrow.

No matter who they chose (known or unknown), it would rub someone the wrong way. I'm glad it's you this time, and not me. Nothing against you; I'm just glad they didn't choose someone I hate.

 

[kwikdeth]

they are the best hardware running one of the best OSes.

Enjoy your 1.4ghz mini w 5400rpm hard drive.
Or MacBook with single usb port
Or Mac pro with 3 year old, two generations removed tech.
Or laptops that have gone ... How long now without updates?

Maybe Gweneth can cook up some herbal tea and have a chat with Tim about what exactly he's trying to prove here.

 

[Lesser Evets]

She's awful in all ways. I want Steve Buscemi in character as Mr. Pink doing app mentoring. It would be fast, honest, and memorable.

 

[Solomani]

uh..oh. i smell..... COMMENTS!

At least you don't smell Gwynneth.

But I could be wrong.

 

[dominiongamma]

This confirms it. Apple has jumped the shark.

They jumped back in 2014.

 

[Nunyabinez]

It's Apple's money after you've spent it.

But go ahead and vote with your wallet for whatever reasons you want.

I'll continue to buy Macs for strictly technical reasons: they are the best hardware running one of the best OSes.

That might have been true at one point, but I don't think so. And it is absolutely not true now.

I think Mac OS is the best OS by far, but having been an Apple defender for years, unless they have some really cool stuff they've been holding back to release this fall, I'm moving to PCs and Windows 10.

I'm not willing to pay extra for looks and Apple's competitors have caught up in build quality and surpassed them in value now (i.e. same quality, lower price).

 

[navaira]

Goopple.

Just when I think they're getting their sheet together they team up with the most irritating person in the universe.

On the plus side, the apps will all be organic, gluten-free, sugar free, non-fat and baked in her wood burning carb-free pizza oven. Starting at $999 (apps, not the oven, you can't afford the oven, peasant).

 

[dan110]

Apple, Why? Just Why?

You're breaking my heart!

 

[HiRez]

This just gets weirder and weirder. I'm not sure the Apple folks know what they're doing in this case. Who is the audience for this thing anyway? Developers aren't going to like it because if they dive into the technical issues everyone else will fall asleep. And it's hard to see "regular" people finding much compelling in the development process. I have a feeling it's going to be more like Shark Tank where it's all about superficially trying to sell an idea, and catch a ride on the trend of the week, to cash in on a VC deal instead of actually developing apps.

I don't particularly care about Gwenyth Paltrow, I just feel like the whole concept of the show is flawed. "Think Different" is a nice slogan, but I feel like Apple could use some more traditional show-runner talent if they're going to go down this road. Netflix and Amazon are knocking it out of the park with original content, Apple is off to a very shaky start (let's not forget about the Apple Dr. Dre show "Vital Signs" which also seems a strange concept and maybe an attempt to appease the good Doctor with something interesting to do at Apple more than a good organic idea).

 

[routine_analyst]

I'm pretty sure they knew that's what people would think of when they named it.

But do they really know what I think of when I think of that name?

 

[Solomani]

They jumped back in 2014.

They jumped back in 2007.

 

[usarioclave]

This confirms it. Apple has jumped the shark.

There is no shark.

 

[Marzzz]

Nice! Galadriel!

Uh, that was Cate Blanchett...

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

Gwyneth Paltrow? Condescending, egotistical, disconnected from the mainstream, annoying, plain, overrated, rode parental connections to easy and lucrative roles. Alleged best-selling cookbook author and life guru who doesn't cook and drifted away from compelling and real former husband, Chris Martin, on her own river of narcissism. A great gal...

 

[ActionableMango]

Nice! Galadriel!

Please tell me you're joking.

 

[Elmo1938]

I hate Gwyneth paltrow.

a good reason not to watch the show

 

[developer13245]

Attempting to capture the reality of this business will go nowhere. App development does NOT to lend itself to interesting reality TV. But, it seems Apple will "shoe horn" whatever they can into something that will really just be advertisement for iOS. It will just amount to spin, when in reality, the mobile apps business is tanking, and developers are running from it like rats from the sinking ship that it is.

Apple lost the "apps mojo" when they removed discoverability features from the App store. This killed small developers.

The chance to get noticed via a simple "sort by release date" app store feature killed the underlying business proposition for small developers.
[doublepost=1470344107][/doublepost].. although it would be funny to watch a dev team scramble around with their hair on fire when their app gets rejected for some BS reason. Yes Apple makes rejection mistakes - for example: Try submitting a v1.0 paid app with purchase receipt validation - whatever 'sandbox' app review uses to test does not hand out receipts and does not properly implement the "store kit" user notifications that bring up the store UI to obtain a receipt. So this will fail and cause an ambiguous rejection.

But I bet all the apps in this show will be "astro turfed" around Apple's $hity review process - so no, the show will not depict the actual reality of developing apps.

 

[Xpress]

Goopy is joining in on this thing? Doomed! She is a joke. I'm even more repulsed by this now. What is Apple thinking?

 

[entropys]

No apps that I'm aware of, but she has launched her own product line(s?) before. I think that's the mentor angle they're aiming at. Self starting a business.

I don't think so. The lesson would be "employ people that can leverage you fame for a business".i think she would have been chosen to coach them on being media friendly and working well for the camera. The four step lesson will be:

1. Be attractive
2. Be a child of media royalty
3. Say the correct things only
4. Be attractive.

 

[nope7308]

She's awful in all ways. I want Steve Buscemi in character as Mr. Pink doing app mentoring. It would be fast, honest, and memorable.

This is something I can support.

Eddy Cue, take note.

 

[Works4Me]

I might as well face facts. The company I liked a decade ago, even five years ago, is gone. This is the new Apple. Rich ... and apparently stupid. I used to be a Tim Cook supporter. Not any more. He is not as obnoxious, but he's becoming more and more Balmer-esque in terms of missteps he's making (at least what I perceive to be missteps).