the solution to the issue is easy. Apple offers you nothing. They were very open about the fact that ilife wasn't going to be available until the end of the month so if you bought a computer before that time, you get ilife '08 for free and if you want '09 you buy it. Just like everyone else. Or you wait 3 more weeks to get your new software for free.
This whole free update deal is a favor to you, just like the discount if you upgraded your whole itunes library to the DRMfree files. They don't have to do it. They know that folks will buy the program and the files if they want it. Or steal both if they are that type of person, regardless of what they do.
so since folks aren't happy about getting a discount, Apple should just drop them. Go for making more money over being nice.