Sidebar Sidebar
Become a MacRumors Supporter for $50/year with no ads, ability to filter front page stories, and private forums.

Im becoming British...

Kingsly

Kingsly

macrumors 68040
Original poster
Aug 9, 2005
3,389
14
Either in front of a computer or behind a camera.
Okay, I was thinking about it earlier and it dawned on me... Im becoming British (or at least my twisted stereotype of a Brit) Reasons? Here:
1) I use the words "Quite," "Perhaps," and, "Rather" a lot.
2) I like Tony Blair.
3) It's the Underground, not "Subway"
4) I am a wording nazi.
5) I am a grammar nazi. (albeit, not a very good one)
6) I am extremely polite.
7) Bangers and chips, oh yeah!!!!
8) I LOVE the Beatles, Coldplay.
9) Uhh... remind me to delete #9

Could somebody please help me?

Edit* Bold type is due to innumerable people that inevitably wont have a sense of humour. Some of my best friends are British. Heck, I am (ancestrally) British.
 
Start practicing these phrases:

"I don't liiiiiiiiike iiit..."
"Phwoar, not half hot innit?"
"Two pints of lager and a packet of crisps please."

Also, if you are turning British, you'll save your money better if you hide it under the soap.

You might want to start spelling your words properly:

MacRumours
Harbour
Humour
Neighbour
Encyclopædia
Aeroplane
Centre
Theatre
Cheque
etc...
 
mad jew said:
Do you have bad teeth?

How often do you shower?

If so, I think you're probably beyond help. :(
Click to expand...
Thankfully I'm not there yet.
I am still distinctly American in that I:
1) Spell shoppe as "shop"
B) Prefer actual coffee over that instant stuff.
III) 1.9 showers per day.
H) What's up with painting targets on your fighter planes?
5) I prefer orange and red over pastel blue and grey.
6) I would rather get the most stuff done in the least amount of time using the most amount of technology instead of breaking for tea.
K) A "pike" is a large fish.
VII) Its "Aloominum," not "Alluuminiiuum," okay?!!

Also, while I like Cadbury, I prefer Milka.
 
Kingsly said:
Thankfully I'm not there yet.
I am still distinctly American in that I:
1) Spell shoppe as "shop"
B) Prefer actual coffee over that instant stuff.
III) 1.9 showers per day.
H) What's up with painting targets on your fighter planes?
5) I prefer orange and red over pastel blue and grey.
6) I would rather get the most stuff done in the least amount of time using the most amount of technology instead of breaking for tea.
K) A "pike" is a large fish.
VII) Its "Aloominum," not "Alluuminiiuum," okay?!!

Also, while I like Cadbury, I prefer Milka.
Click to expand...

It is shop.
That crap you guys call "coffee" is, well, crap. Drink espresso. From a café, not a chain store.

And it is Aluminium, if you think it's aluminum you probably think it's "nucular" too.
 
Kingsly said:
Thankfully I'm not there yet.
I am still distinctly American in that I:
1) Spell shoppe as "shop"
B) Prefer actual coffee over that instant stuff.
III) 1.9 showers per day.
H) What's up with painting targets on your fighter planes?
5) I prefer orange and red over pastel blue and grey.
6) I would rather get the most stuff done in the least amount of time using the most amount of technology instead of breaking for tea.
K) A "pike" is a large fish.
VII) Its "Aloominum," not "Alluuminiiuum," okay?!!
Click to expand...

Haha I like your list numbering system. :D
 
Chundles said:
It is shop.
Click to expand...
Dang, one American trait to scratch off my list.

That crap you guys call "coffee" is, well, crap. Drink espresso. From a café, not a chain store.
Click to expand...
I brew my own from whole beans. When I am abroad on a holiday (there I go again) I sit at a café and read for hours. Never starbucks and NEVER insta-whatever. I still don't understand how EVERY café in Rome has its own version of a café latte. Sometimes I'll get milk with a dab of coffee and sometimes I'll get an expresso with a dab of milk. Other times i'll get soem kind of caramel delight with a biscotti. I don't even get the same drink from the same café on a day to day basis!!

And it is Aluminium, if you think it's aluminum you probably think it's "nucular" too.
Click to expand...
Who in thier right mind world pronounce Nuclear as Nucular?
Thats just stooopid. There is no "u" after "c!"

On that note, I am going to bed. There is a police helicopter circling outside that keeps training its spotlight in the vicinity of my neighborhood and its freaking me out. (I swear, since leaving LA for the 'burbs I have seen wayy more crime)
 
Kingsly said:
Who in thier right mind world pronounce Nuclear as Nucular?
Thats just stooopid. There is no "u" after "c!"
Click to expand...

Your president seems to think so....:D
 
Kingsly said:
Yep. Though, on that note, my history professor (whom I regard to be one of the most intelligent people I know) also pronounces it that way.
Click to expand...

It's funny how people do that. I had some really smart teachers in High School, one of whom pronounced "specific" as "pacific." Another said "miminum" instead of "minimum." Used to make me want to smack them upside the head sometimes.
 
OH, how great. A take the piss out of the Brits thread :rolleyes:

Its funny because I think I am turning American.

1) I am Getting fatter by the day
2) I eat McDonalds for breakfast
3) I drink from 6 litre Coke bottles
4) I eat McDonalds For Lunch
6) I am fatter than when i started this reply
19) I Can't count
8) My nickname is slackjaw
9) I f*ck my sister regularly
10) I eat McDonalds for the meal i invented between breakfast and brunch
11) My definition of cheese is that shrink wrapped stuff
12) I have been to school longer than anyone else in the world but i am STILL under-educated.
13) I am becoming jealous of the british special forces and the SAS
14) I have looked but can't find bin laden anywhere
15) I've started moaning about EVERYTHING that has NOTHING to do with me or my country, like the brits.
16) I THINK I know what real coffee is, so I'm off to get one from starbucks.

But it's ok, I'm pretty sure i am not because

1) I still know what fruit is
2) I can still speak properly
3) I am no longer jealous that English is called English not American
4) My trousers are not held up by elastic
5) My country gave half the world back to its people, its not trying to capture it from them
6) I still cringe at eating a 'dog'
7) I don't crave jelly dogs, chilli dogs, chilli cheese dogs, jerky, donuts
8) I don't masturbate to my national anthem
9) I don't think carry a gun to school and massacre my school friends
10) I am not self righteous and I don't like movies that re-write history to make my country look good.




95% of americans are, of course, nothing like that. Taking the piss out of a whole nation is wrong.
 
mad jew said:
Do you have bad teeth?

How often do you shower?

If so, I think you're probably beyond help. :(
Click to expand...


I thought he said he was becoming British not the descendent of a British convict...:rolleyes:
 
BakedBeans said:
OH, how great. A take the piss out of the Brits thread :rolleyes:

Its funny because I think I am turning American.

1) I am Getting fatter by the day
2) I eat McDonalds for breakfast
3) I drink from 6 litre Coke bottles
4) I eat McDonalds For Lunch
6) I am fatter than when i started this reply
19) I Can't count
8) My nickname is slackjaw
9) I f*ck my sister regularly
10) I eat McDonalds for the meal i invented between breakfast and brunch
11) My definition of cheese is that shrink wrapped stuff
12) I have been to school longer than anyone else in the world but i am STILL under-educated.
13) I am becoming jealous of the british special forces and the SAS
14) I have looked but can't find bin laden anywhere
15) I've started moaning about EVERYTHING that has NOTHING to do with me or my country, like the brits.
16) I THINK I know what real coffee is, so I'm off to get one from starbucks.

But it's ok, I'm pretty sure i am not because

1) I still know what fruit is
2) I can still speak properly
3) I am no longer jealous that English is called English not American
4) My trousers are not held up by elastic
5) My country gave half the world back to its people, its not trying to capture it from them
6) I still cringe at eating a 'dog'
7) I don't crave jelly dogs, chilli dogs, chilli cheese dogs, jerky, donuts
8) I don't masturbate to my national anthem
9) I don't think carry a gun to school and massacre my school friends
10) I am not self righteous and I don't like movies that re-write history to make my country look good.




95% of americans are, of course, nothing like that. Taking the piss out of a whole nation is wrong.
Click to expand...


HAHAHA!!!

Gold Bakedbeans, pure gold.
I hope you didn't take offense to we Aussies picking on you - it's a national pastime down here and you guys have had your share of comebacks *cough*Ashes*cough*Rugby World Cup*cough* etc.

PS, I'm no convict. I'm the descendant of German kaisers so we won't mention that...
 
Ever since I joined this forum I've started to spell things more British-like as in colour and whatnot. Now spelling it the American way just seems funny. Not to mention that you can tell how drunk I am by how thick my fake British accent gets. :rolleyes:
 
BakedBeans said:
Its funny because I think I am turning American.
~snip~
Click to expand...
You forgot: I have to wear kevlar body armour to play rugby.




Taking the piss out of a whole nation is wrong.
Click to expand...
But oh so fun.
Actually, some of my best friends are British and my step-grandmother is the epitome of english aristocracy.

bartelby said:
I thought he said he was becoming British not the descendent of a British convict...:rolleyes:
Click to expand...
LOL!!! I do find it funny that while sitting on their soggy little island the English were sending their convicts to a tropical paradise as punishment.
 
BakedBeans said:
OH, how great. A take the piss out of the Brits thread :rolleyes:

Its funny because I think I am turning American.

1) I am Getting fatter by the day
2) I eat McDonalds for breakfast
3) I drink from 6 litre Coke bottles
4) I eat McDonalds For Lunch
6) I am fatter than when i started this reply
19) I Can't count
8) My nickname is slackjaw
9) I f*ck my sister regularly
10) I eat McDonalds for the meal i invented between breakfast and brunch
11) My definition of cheese is that shrink wrapped stuff
12) I have been to school longer than anyone else in the world but i am STILL under-educated.
13) I am becoming jealous of the british special forces and the SAS
14) I have looked but can't find bin laden anywhere
15) I've started moaning about EVERYTHING that has NOTHING to do with me or my country, like the brits.
16) I THINK I know what real coffee is, so I'm off to get one from starbucks.

But it's ok, I'm pretty sure i am not because

1) I still know what fruit is
2) I can still speak properly
3) I am no longer jealous that English is called English not American
4) My trousers are not held up by elastic
5) My country gave half the world back to its people, its not trying to capture it from them
6) I still cringe at eating a 'dog'
7) I don't crave jelly dogs, chilli dogs, chilli cheese dogs, jerky, donuts
8) I don't masturbate to my national anthem
9) I don't think carry a gun to school and massacre my school friends
10) I am not self righteous and I don't like movies that re-write history to make my country look good.




95% of americans are, of course, nothing like that. Taking the piss out of a whole nation is wrong.
Click to expand...

hahah so true is so many ways hah:D
 
Welcome to our shores! Just a couple of pointers...

Kingsly said:
1) I use the words "Quite," "Perhaps," and, "Rather" a lot.
Click to expand...
See, you should have said "rather a lot" or "quite a lot" here. Even better, you could have started the sentence with "I perhaps..." – that's one mark deducted straight away.

Kingsly said:
2) I like Tony Blair.
Click to expand...
Actually, a lot of us don't actually like the grinning buffoon that much.

Kingsly said:
3) It's the Underground, not "Subway"
Click to expand...
The Tube, surely?

Kingsly said:
6) I am extremely polite.
Click to expand...
Actually, we're all rather rude. It's much more fun.

Kingsly said:
8) I LOVE the Beatles, Coldplay.
Click to expand...
No, no, no. Coldplay are rubbish. Why do you think we sent them away to 'break America'?

You're not doing very well with that list. We might let you into the country, but only if you agree to be Welsh. ;)
 
BakedBeans said:
OH, how great. A take the piss out of the Brits thread :rolleyes:

Its funny because I think I am turning American.

<snip the funny>

95% of americans are, of course, nothing like that. Taking the piss out of a whole nation is wrong.
Click to expand...
Yes, it's more likely around 90%
I'm just kidding, you know. Good to make a funny sometimes.
 
Kingsly said:
VII) Its "Aloominum," not "Alluuminiiuum," okay?!!
Click to expand...

Both have been the official name - I remember looking it up in one of our other Brit/US threads. I seem to recall that the official international name is the Aluminium one at the moment - or was then.

I had to smack myself severely a year or so ago when I realised that I used the word 'gotten' in an email! :eek:
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Register on MacRumors! This sidebar will go away, and you'll see fewer ads.
Top Bottom
Back