Im becoming British...

Discussion in 'Community Discussion' started by Kingsly, Mar 19, 2006.

  1. Kingsly macrumors 68040


    Okay, I was thinking about it earlier and it dawned on me... Im becoming British (or at least my twisted stereotype of a Brit) Reasons? Here:
    1) I use the words "Quite," "Perhaps," and, "Rather" a lot.
    2) I like Tony Blair.
    3) It's the Underground, not "Subway"
    4) I am a wording nazi.
    5) I am a grammar nazi. (albeit, not a very good one)
    6) I am extremely polite.
    7) Bangers and chips, oh yeah!!!!
    8) I LOVE the Beatles, Coldplay.
    9) Uhh... remind me to delete #9

    Could somebody please help me?

    Edit* Bold type is due to innumerable people that inevitably wont have a sense of humour. Some of my best friends are British. Heck, I am (ancestrally) British.
  2. mad jew Moderator emeritus

    mad jew

    Apr 3, 2004
    Adelaide, Australia
    Do you have bad teeth?

    How often do you shower?

    If so, I think you're probably beyond help. :(
  3. Chundles macrumors G4


    Jul 4, 2005
    Start practicing these phrases:

    "I don't liiiiiiiiike iiit..."
    "Phwoar, not half hot innit?"
    "Two pints of lager and a packet of crisps please."

    Also, if you are turning British, you'll save your money better if you hide it under the soap.

    You might want to start spelling your words properly:

  4. Kingsly thread starter macrumors 68040


    Thankfully I'm not there yet.
    I am still distinctly American in that I:
    1) Spell shoppe as "shop"
    B) Prefer actual coffee over that instant stuff.
    III) 1.9 showers per day.
    H) What's up with painting targets on your fighter planes?
    5) I prefer orange and red over pastel blue and grey.
    6) I would rather get the most stuff done in the least amount of time using the most amount of technology instead of breaking for tea.
    K) A "pike" is a large fish.
    VII) Its "Aloominum," not "Alluuminiiuum," okay?!!

    Also, while I like Cadbury, I prefer Milka.
  5. cycocelica macrumors 68000


    Apr 28, 2005
    Redmond, WA
    I suggest going to the "Others perception of America" thread and start doing all the stereotypes the people list in there :rolleyes:
  6. Chundles macrumors G4


    Jul 4, 2005
    It is shop.
    That crap you guys call "coffee" is, well, crap. Drink espresso. From a café, not a chain store.

    And it is Aluminium, if you think it's aluminum you probably think it's "nucular" too.
  7. tag macrumors 6502a


    Apr 29, 2005
    Haha I like your list numbering system. :D
  8. Kingsly thread starter macrumors 68040


    Dang, one American trait to scratch off my list.

    I brew my own from whole beans. When I am abroad on a holiday (there I go again) I sit at a café and read for hours. Never starbucks and NEVER insta-whatever. I still don't understand how EVERY café in Rome has its own version of a café latte. Sometimes I'll get milk with a dab of coffee and sometimes I'll get an expresso with a dab of milk. Other times i'll get soem kind of caramel delight with a biscotti. I don't even get the same drink from the same café on a day to day basis!!

    Who in thier right mind world pronounce Nuclear as Nucular?
    Thats just stooopid. There is no "u" after "c!"

    On that note, I am going to bed. There is a police helicopter circling outside that keeps training its spotlight in the vicinity of my neighborhood and its freaking me out. (I swear, since leaving LA for the 'burbs I have seen wayy more crime)
  9. Chundles macrumors G4


    Jul 4, 2005
    Your president seems to think so....:D
  10. Kingsly thread starter macrumors 68040


    Yep. Though, on that note, my history professor (whom I regard to be one of the most intelligent people I know) also pronounces it that way.
    And I say Aloominum.
  11. Chundles macrumors G4


    Jul 4, 2005
    It's funny how people do that. I had some really smart teachers in High School, one of whom pronounced "specific" as "pacific." Another said "miminum" instead of "minimum." Used to make me want to smack them upside the head sometimes.
  12. BakedBeans macrumors 68040


    May 6, 2004
    What's Your Favorite Posish
    OH, how great. A take the piss out of the Brits thread :rolleyes:

    Its funny because I think I am turning American.

    1) I am Getting fatter by the day
    2) I eat McDonalds for breakfast
    3) I drink from 6 litre Coke bottles
    4) I eat McDonalds For Lunch
    6) I am fatter than when i started this reply
    19) I Can't count
    8) My nickname is slackjaw
    9) I f*ck my sister regularly
    10) I eat McDonalds for the meal i invented between breakfast and brunch
    11) My definition of cheese is that shrink wrapped stuff
    12) I have been to school longer than anyone else in the world but i am STILL under-educated.
    13) I am becoming jealous of the british special forces and the SAS
    14) I have looked but can't find bin laden anywhere
    15) I've started moaning about EVERYTHING that has NOTHING to do with me or my country, like the brits.
    16) I THINK I know what real coffee is, so I'm off to get one from starbucks.

    But it's ok, I'm pretty sure i am not because

    1) I still know what fruit is
    2) I can still speak properly
    3) I am no longer jealous that English is called English not American
    4) My trousers are not held up by elastic
    5) My country gave half the world back to its people, its not trying to capture it from them
    6) I still cringe at eating a 'dog'
    7) I don't crave jelly dogs, chilli dogs, chilli cheese dogs, jerky, donuts
    8) I don't masturbate to my national anthem
    9) I don't think carry a gun to school and massacre my school friends
    10) I am not self righteous and I don't like movies that re-write history to make my country look good.

    95% of americans are, of course, nothing like that. Taking the piss out of a whole nation is wrong.
  13. bartelby macrumors Core


    Jun 16, 2004

    I thought he said he was becoming British not the descendent of a British convict...:rolleyes:
  14. BakedBeans macrumors 68040


    May 6, 2004
    What's Your Favorite Posish
  15. Chundles macrumors G4


    Jul 4, 2005


    Gold Bakedbeans, pure gold.
    I hope you didn't take offense to we Aussies picking on you - it's a national pastime down here and you guys have had your share of comebacks *cough*Ashes*cough*Rugby World Cup*cough* etc.

    PS, I'm no convict. I'm the descendant of German kaisers so we won't mention that...
  16. vniow macrumors G4

    Jul 18, 2002
    I accidentally my whole location.
    Ever since I joined this forum I've started to spell things more British-like as in colour and whatnot. Now spelling it the American way just seems funny. Not to mention that you can tell how drunk I am by how thick my fake British accent gets. :rolleyes:
  17. Kingsly thread starter macrumors 68040


    You forgot: I have to wear kevlar body armour to play rugby.

    But oh so fun.
    Actually, some of my best friends are British and my step-grandmother is the epitome of english aristocracy.

    LOL!!! I do find it funny that while sitting on their soggy little island the English were sending their convicts to a tropical paradise as punishment.
  18. idea_hamster macrumors 65816


    Jul 11, 2003
    NYC, or thereabouts
    HA! That was just ... shall we say ... brilliant!
  19. Kingsly thread starter macrumors 68040


    I wasn't joking when I made this thread. I never used to do the things I listed.
  20. mf2k macrumors member


    Sep 8, 2005
    San Francisco
    hahah so true is so many ways hah:D
  21. Chundles macrumors G4


    Jul 4, 2005
    How's the veal?
  22. Jaffa Cake macrumors Core

    Jaffa Cake

    Aug 1, 2004
    The City of Culture, Englandshire
    Welcome to our shores! Just a couple of pointers...

    See, you should have said "rather a lot" or "quite a lot" here. Even better, you could have started the sentence with "I perhaps..." – that's one mark deducted straight away.

    Actually, a lot of us don't actually like the grinning buffoon that much.

    The Tube, surely?

    Actually, we're all rather rude. It's much more fun.

    No, no, no. Coldplay are rubbish. Why do you think we sent them away to 'break America'?

    You're not doing very well with that list. We might let you into the country, but only if you agree to be Welsh. ;)
  23. After G macrumors 68000

    After G

    Aug 27, 2003
    Yes, it's more likely around 90%
    I'm just kidding, you know. Good to make a funny sometimes.
  24. Applespider macrumors G4


    Jan 20, 2004
    looking through rose-tinted spectacles...
    Both have been the official name - I remember looking it up in one of our other Brit/US threads. I seem to recall that the official international name is the Aluminium one at the moment - or was then.

    I had to smack myself severely a year or so ago when I realised that I used the word 'gotten' in an email! :eek:

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