I'm StephenCampbell's Wife

[MrsCampbell]

Hello MacRumors community,

Several of you were giving advice to my husband on his thread about a "difficult family situation." I found that post today and read it entirely.

Suffice it to say, the things I read there and the feelings that my husband finally revealed to me today have helped me make the decision to become the "FormerMrsCampbell."

I don't want to badmouth Mr Campbell or make any drama, but I wanted to thank those of you who gave your thoughts on that post and helped me to make this necessary decision. My daughter and I thank you from the bottom of our hearts.

 

[A.Goldberg]

Oh gawd. I'm not sure what to make of this... certainly an interesting twist in an already dramatic situation.

I'm glad you made the decision you feel is most appropriate for yourself and the wellbeing of your daughter.

Wishing you the best!

-A.Goldberg

P.S. I'm so very curious how you found his posts.

 

[T'hain Esh Kelch]

Why not just post in the original thread?

 

[MrsCampbell]

Hi Mr. Goldberg! My husband told me around the time that he started this post (around April I believe) that he was starting an online discussion. He told me soon after that it was on this website. I gave him his privacy, but eventually I grew tired of the secrecy (constantly talking to friends and people online about our issues, deleting all history on everything, guarding his phone) and his reluctance to be open and honest with me about his feelings. I was a snoop today and I'm not proud of that, but it's helped me learn more about his thought process and opinions, which is very helpful.
[doublepost=1467091879][/doublepost]

Why not just post in the original thread?

It has been locked. Even if it wasn't, I wouldn't want to take over his thread.

 

[Snoopy4]

Whoa. This went badly, from a point of view. Good luck to you. Nothing like your laundry being chucked out on an internet forum.

 

[bigjnyc]

Wait is this over the issue with his mother? This is certainly none of my business and I know there has to be more to it, but you are getting a divorce over an issue with an in-law? Especially when you have a 7 month old? seems a little extreme no?

 

[mobilehaathi]

Best of luck to you and your daughter.

 

[rdowns]

Best of luck to you. From my knowledge of the situation and his posting history, you're making the right decision. I urge you to seek counseling.

 

[samiwas]

Wait is this over the issue with his mother? This is certainly none of my business and I know there has to be more to it, but you are getting a divorce over an issue with an in-law? Especially when you have a 7 month old? seems a little extreme no?

It does seem a little extreme to get a divorce over issues with an in-law, but like you said, there is probably a lot more to it.

Depending on the issues with the mother-in-law, they could be extreme enough to need to get away. Now, I don't know what that means as far as the safety of them afterwards, with the MIL possibly going crazy over it, but it might be a necessary step. But, there must be more issues with the husband as well, or they wouldn't be heading towards a divorce over his mom.

 

[keysofanxiety]

Crumbs, the original thread was difficult enough to read. There's something uncomfortable about so much personal stuff being dished. Though if there's one thing I took out of it, it's that @Scepticalscribe would make a fair therapist.

EDIT: I just got to the last page of the original thread. That was ... I'm pretty speechless.

StephenCampbell's wife, I wish you and your daughter all the best for the future.

 

[BenTrovato]

If there's one thing to take away, it's that your better off not going to the internet for advice - and offering advice on the internet is just as bad. Let people and situations be.

 

[S.B.G]

Mod note:

If these folks wish to discuss their personal lives here, that's their business to do so. As long as the thread stays within the framework of the rules and people don't get nasty, it can remain open.

 

[samiwas]

If there's one thing to take away, it's that your better off not going to the internet for advice - and offering advice on the internet is just as bad. Let people and situations be.

Some people don't have many people they can personally go to for advice that involves their spouse/girlfriend/etc. because all of their friends are mutual. After 14.5 years together, almost all of my friends are my wife's friends, and vice versa. You also get people who are biased towards one or the other having been their original friend, and give spectacularly bad advice. This has happened to us before and led to some big altercations.

Turning to the internet might not be the best idea, but at least you'll get somewhat impartial opinions from people who may have many varied experiences to pull from.

As far as "just let people and situations be", do you mean that no one should ever give advice to people who are looking for it?

 

[5105973]

Hello MacRumors community,

Several of you were giving advice to my husband on his thread about a "difficult family situation." I found that post today and read it entirely.

Suffice it to say, the things I read there and the feelings that my husband finally revealed to me today have helped me make the decision to become the "FormerMrsCampbell."

I don't want to badmouth Mr Campbell or make any drama, but I wanted to thank those of you who gave your thoughts on that post and helped me to make this necessary decision. My daughter and I thank you from the bottom of our hearts.

Best wishes to you, your daughter and to "Stephen". I hope he's continuing his therapy.

 

[yaxomoxay]

Hello MacRumors community,

Several of you were giving advice to my husband on his thread about a "difficult family situation." I found that post today and read it entirely.

Suffice it to say, the things I read there and the feelings that my husband finally revealed to me today have helped me make the decision to become the "FormerMrsCampbell."

I don't want to badmouth Mr Campbell or make any drama, but I wanted to thank those of you who gave your thoughts on that post and helped me to make this necessary decision. My daughter and I thank you from the bottom of our hearts.

MrsCampbell thank you for your honesty. It seems to me that you had a very tough day, it seems that your husband revealed stuff to you just today, and you found the original thread today.
Of course I wish you all the luck, but if you allow me, I'd like to suggest to take some time before making the decision of dividing your family, especially on a situation because of in-laws.

 

[keysofanxiety]

Of course I wish you all the luck, but if you allow me, I'd like to suggest to take some time before making the decision of dividing your family, especially on a situation because of in-laws.

I would recommend reading the last page of the thread; there were a few more things that transpired, unrelated to the original subject matter, which I suspect may have contributed to this.

 

[yaxomoxay]

I would recommend reading the last page of the thread; there were a few more things that transpired, unrelated to the original subject matter, which I suspect may have contributed to this.

Certainly important, but I think that MrsCampbell should just take a couple of days to process all that she has taken in the past 24hours. Just as a "safety" precaution to prevent knee jerk reactions. The outcome will most likely be the same, but at least she will never regret to have thought it carefully.

 

[juanm]

IIRC I reported some of his posts for racism as well. You dodged a bullet, OP.

 

[Scepticalscribe]

Hello MacRumors community,

Several of you were giving advice to my husband on his thread about a "difficult family situation." I found that post today and read it entirely.

Suffice it to say, the things I read there and the feelings that my husband finally revealed to me today have helped me make the decision to become the "FormerMrsCampbell."

I don't want to badmouth Mr Campbell or make any drama, but I wanted to thank those of you who gave your thoughts on that post and helped me to make this necessary decision. My daughter and I thank you from the bottom of our hearts.

The very best of luck to both yourself and your daughter.

For what it is worth - and I don't say this lightly - I think you are making the right decision.

Why not just post in the original thread?

It has been locked.

Wait is this over the issue with his mother? This is certainly none of my business and I know there has to be more to it, but you are getting a divorce over an issue with an in-law? Especially when you have a 7 month old? seems a little extreme no?

Read the thread.

Best of luck to you and your daughter.

Amen to that.

Best of luck to you. From my knowledge of the situation and his posting history, you're making the right decision. I urge you to seek counseling.

Agreed.

It does seem a little extreme to get a divorce over issues with an in-law, but like you said, there is probably a lot more to it.

Depending on the issues with the mother-in-law, they could be extreme enough to need to get away. Now, I don't know what that means as far as the safety of them afterwards, with the MIL possibly going crazy over it, but it might be a necessary step. But, there must be more issues with the husband as well, or they wouldn't be heading towards a divorce over his mom.

Read the thread.

Crumbs, the original thread was difficult enough to read. There's something uncomfortable about so much personal stuff being dished. Though if there's one thing I took out of it, it's that @Scepticalscribe would make a fair therapist.

EDIT: I just got to the last page of the original thread. That was ... I'm pretty speechless.

StephenCampbell's wife, I wish you and your daughter all the best for the future.

Thank you for your kind words, but, no, to my mind that honour must be divided equally between @GrumpyMom, @mscriv, and @A.Goldberg who all wrote terrific posts, full of humane, sensible and thoughtful advice.

Best wishes to you, your daughter and to "Stephen". I hope he's continuing his therapy.

A profound amen to that.

Certainly important, but I think that MrsCampbell should just take a couple of days to process all that she has taken in the past 24hours. Just as a "safety" precaution to prevent knee jerk reactions. The outcome will most likely be the same, but at least she will never regret to have thought it carefully.

Seriously, read the thread. It is horribly instructive and has the compulsive viewing quality of a car crash.

IIRC I reported some of his posts for racism as well. You dodged a bullet, OP.

I will admit that I was sorely tempted to do so.

 

[Khalanad75]

From his actions and thoughts in that thread I had said that he was looking towards a divorce.

I wish all the best to you and your daughter and I hope he gets all the therapy he needs.

I would suggest you may want to talk with someone as well, because just from his side of the views that he posted, you have been through a lot and sometimes just talking with a therapist can help you let things off your chest that people have a tendency to hold in.

 

[yaxomoxay]

Seriously, read the thread. It is horribly instructive and has the compulsive viewing quality of a car crash.

I've read the thread, and it was in reply of something I posted that the discussion on his racism came out.
However, I still encourage his MrsCampbell to wait, if nothing else to prevent a future regret ("what if I had waited a little bit longer"). I am not saying to wait years, or even to talk to him. Just take a couple of days off to "cool down" (bad choice of words, I admit) and see the situation from a less emotional point of view.

 

[Scepticalscribe]

I've read the thread, and it was in reply of something I posted that the discussion on his racism came out.
However, I still encourage his MrsCampbell to wait, if nothing else to prevent a future regret ("what if I had waited a little bit longer"). I am not saying to wait years, or even to talk to him. Just take a couple of days off to "cool down" (bad choice of words, I admit) and see the situation from a less emotional point of view.

To be honest, I very much doubt that this is a sudden decision made 'in the heat of the moment', and nor do I think it was driven by 'emotion', but by resignation and recognition that this could not be salvaged and that to attempt to do so would be a colossal waste of time and emotional energy.

Rather, it has been coming - and gathering pace - slowly, for months. My sense is that encountering the thread may simply have confirmed and crystallised matters in @MrsCampbell's mind.

Anyone who was contributing to - or, simply reading - the thread could see that this outcome was - if not inevitable - then, the most likely consequence of what was happening.

 

[yaxomoxay]

To be honest, I very much doubt that this is a sudden decision made 'in the heat of the moment', and nor do I think it was driven by 'emotion', but by resignation and recognition that this could not be salvaged and that to attempt to do so would be a colossal waste of time and emotional energy.

Rather, it has been coming - and gathering pace - slowly, for months. My sense is that encountering the thread may simply have confirmed and crystallised matters in @MrsCampbell's mind.

Anyone who was reading the thread could see that this outcome was - if not inevitable - then, the most likely consequence.

In all truth I agree with that, I guess I just carry some useless hope.

 

[deany]

I hope that you and Mrcampbell can work things out.

The most important person in all this, as you know, is your daughter.

Two recent quotes that I think of-

Jo would want our children to be "bathed in love" - Brendan Cox's moving tribute to his late wife.

"Love can heal" Peter Gabriel song June 2016

Praying for you all.
x

 

[BenTrovato]

Some people don't have many people they can personally go to for advice that involves their spouse/girlfriend/etc. because all of their friends are mutual. After 14.5 years together, almost all of my friends are my wife's friends, and vice versa. You also get people who are biased towards one or the other having been their original friend, and give spectacularly bad advice. This has happened to us before and led to some big altercations.

Turning to the internet might not be the best idea, but at least you'll get somewhat impartial opinions from people who may have many varied experiences to pull from.

As far as "just let people and situations be", do you mean that no one should ever give advice to people who are looking for it?

You make a good point. I think as you know, the forums are filled with some really fantastic people and some not so great ones. When you reach out here, you're going to get both - and when you're in a tough spot, it's hard to sift through all that. The internet often comes with unintended consequences. That's all I'm saying.