Well, you have seen mine.
And yes, I believe it to be true.
Moreover, I am of the view that his controlling, hurtful and horrible response to a thread started by his wife is very revealing of his true nature.
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I'm StephenCampbell's Wife
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Well, you have seen mine.
And yes, I believe it to be true.
Moreover, I am of the view that his controlling, hurtful and horrible response to a thread started by his wife is very revealing of his true nature.
Assuming this is all authentic, I think Mac Rumors members provided much excellent advice, in some aspects as good if not better than marriage councilors (depending on the councilor. I've been to counciling, still married but not attributed to the counciling
). The drawback here is that only one of the two (or even 3) people is offering input, so we only get half of the story. So there are limits to this format as we got one view pov until the spouse decided to end it and announce it in the forum. This may be a first and frankly amazing (if it's real).
Assuming this is all authentic, I think Mac Rumors members provided much excellent advice, in some aspects as good if not better than marriage councilors (depending on the councilor. I've been to counciling, still married but not attributed to the counciling
Well, I do think it is real - but yes, I will concede that it is quite extraordinary.
Read back his other threads and posts - going back over three years; a lot of earlier - and frankly, unsettling - background, and attitudes informing perspectives - can be found therein.
To be honest, as he had started the 'family difficulties' thread, advice was tendered to him, wth a view to tendering advice that might serve to help his situation.
Had the gracious, decent and dignified @MrsCampbell started a thread at that stage, seeking such advice, I would have advised her to head for the hills.
This outcome comes as no surprise, whatsoever.
Marriage is a huge challenge with pluses and minuses. It's a lot of work, complicated when people make poor decisions and frankly many of them are not up for the challenge in the first place.
With an unhappy marriage (a state subject to change), an interesting philosophical/psychological exercise is to ask, if you could live your life a second time would you make the same romantic choices? You'd have to weigh the positives, the children that result, or would you be able to abandon them in essence consign them to never being born, while hoping for a better outcome the second time around.
It's not only your marriage, but your entire life would be exposed to the unknown. At times, I've asked myself this question and I've never ask for a redo. Overall this life, this relationship, while rocky at times, is a solid positive.
Sometimes marriages don't work out. If you two can remain friends and be positive influences in your child(s) life, then all the power to you two. I have to say this is a strange thread, but I have no room to judge. I like disco. That's pretty strange. That's my pitiful attempt at lightening the mood.
godspeed.
godspeed.
Yes, the situation between Scampbell and Mrs. is certainly seems frustrating. Cycles of enlightened thought then regression back to the old ideas. I have no emotional attachment to this though, beyond empathy. I care enough to take the time to help, but at the end of the day there are too many factors out of my/our control including most notably Stephen's own decisions.
Personally, I think Stephen has been provided a tremendous amount of wisdom here from many forum members, perhaps too much to truly take in. I think there are factors in play here that won't resolve overnight and will be best resolved through regular professional assistance.
As many have pointed out, there are limits to what can be gleaned from an anonymous online discussion. For example, several people have decried me for being very insensitive for "hijacking" MrsCampbell's thread. The thing is that she told me I'm more than welcome to join the discussion and say whatever I want. If she hadn't told me that, I would have considered this to be Her space for dialog with this wonderful community, and would not have intervened.
No doubt my actions in relation to MrsCampbell have been selfish through most of the time I've known her. Refraining from breaking up with someone because YOU can't handle the discomfort or the pain you cause the other person, is selfish, and causes even more pain for them later. I should have been more honest with myself throughout the last few years, and consequently more honest with her.
The quote that MrsCampbell shared where I clarified to her that while I wouldn't optimally want a "stepford wife" that I was tempted by her offer of one, looks really strange, I know. Nobody should want that kind of relationship dynamic under Any circumstances, and I certainly have a self-centered, controlling side to which that offer appealed. But as I said before, I never, ever wanted her to be unhappy, I never wanted to use anyone for my satisfaction at the expense of their happiness. She was telling me "Nothing in the world makes me happier than the thought of doing Whatever makes you happy, for the rest of my life." She was very clearly saying that it wouldn't even feel like subservience to her, that it's what she really, truly wants to do. I felt incredibly flattered and decided to marry her since no one else had ever felt that way about me. If she had not given me that impression very clearly, I would not have expected her to be happy doing whatever makes me happy.
I'm continuing to see the one counselor who I said I didn't like but is turning out to be very helpful actually. And I'm transitioning from one psychotherapist to another within the next week, one who I think will be a better fit and specializes in helping people find their inner truth.
It makes me very sad to think of all the pain I've caused MrsCampbell. It really does. I wanted marriage and stability, she wanted me very badly, no one else had ever wanted me like that, I just let it all come together without thinking it through enough. I wanted to make her happy. I knew how happy she would be when I proposed to her. I wanted to give her that, I thought her overwhelming love for me would hold everything together and that maybe I'd feel the same way about her over time.
I'm going to be analyzing my feelings about her with my new psychotherapist starting next week, to see if I can figure out whether I truly never was really in love with her, or whether I just have marriage anxiety/relationship OCD.
No doubt my actions in relation to MrsCampbell have been selfish through most of the time I've known her. Refraining from breaking up with someone because YOU can't handle the discomfort or the pain you cause the other person, is selfish, and causes even more pain for them later. I should have been more honest with myself throughout the last few years, and consequently more honest with her.
The quote that MrsCampbell shared where I clarified to her that while I wouldn't optimally want a "stepford wife" that I was tempted by her offer of one, looks really strange, I know. Nobody should want that kind of relationship dynamic under Any circumstances, and I certainly have a self-centered, controlling side to which that offer appealed. But as I said before, I never, ever wanted her to be unhappy, I never wanted to use anyone for my satisfaction at the expense of their happiness. She was telling me "Nothing in the world makes me happier than the thought of doing Whatever makes you happy, for the rest of my life." She was very clearly saying that it wouldn't even feel like subservience to her, that it's what she really, truly wants to do. I felt incredibly flattered and decided to marry her since no one else had ever felt that way about me. If she had not given me that impression very clearly, I would not have expected her to be happy doing whatever makes me happy.
I'm continuing to see the one counselor who I said I didn't like but is turning out to be very helpful actually. And I'm transitioning from one psychotherapist to another within the next week, one who I think will be a better fit and specializes in helping people find their inner truth.
It makes me very sad to think of all the pain I've caused MrsCampbell. It really does. I wanted marriage and stability, she wanted me very badly, no one else had ever wanted me like that, I just let it all come together without thinking it through enough. I wanted to make her happy. I knew how happy she would be when I proposed to her. I wanted to give her that, I thought her overwhelming love for me would hold everything together and that maybe I'd feel the same way about her over time.
I'm going to be analyzing my feelings about her with my new psychotherapist starting next week, to see if I can figure out whether I truly never was really in love with her, or whether I just have marriage anxiety/relationship OCD.
The thing is, when you say something offensive or racist you come across as honest, whereas when you try to be polite and say "I'm sorry" (I think that was your intention), it reads as something that you say just because you know it's what you're expected to say.
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Since people keep mentioning the "racist" stuff, I'm going to have to put this out there. MrsCampbell and I had a near unanimous agreement on all things social and political, it was one of the things that made me feel like we're super compatible and like I could never find someone else who'd see things so much like I do. Our only quibble was that I kind of liked Bernie Sanders, and she thought he was part of the Jewish conspiracy to free all black people from prison.
A couple years ago we actually were going to attend the American Renaissance conference together, but it ended up not working out because of flight prices.
A couple years ago we actually were going to attend the American Renaissance conference together, but it ended up not working out because of flight prices.
Well, then Mrs. Campbell is in as much need of counselling as you are. People are not born racists. It's a conscious choice you have both made to subscribe to this inhumane, vindictive, and demonising concept of life. Frankly, it's no surprise to me that Mrs. Campbell shares your views as it's practically impossible to live with someone who has opted for such a hateful and destructive worldview and not share them.
I hope the both of you can wake up and - perhaps - someday you'll both be able to look back in shock, unable to comprehend how you were able to subscribe to such horrid and ugly lies and hate. And when that time comes, perhaps you'll be able to actually "see" humans of all ethnicities for what they truly are and free yourself from the vile brainwashing that you have allowed to be bestowed upon you. That's my wish to the both of you.
I assume your american rennaissance is not about the rights of native americans?
Hm.
Yes, but insisting that she amend a post she had written explaining why she had decided to quit the marriage strikes me as excessively controlling.
It was open to you to post under you own name to clarify what you meant.
And, I remain struck that your most insensitive and hurtful remarks describing how you felt about your marriage were reserved for your wife, here, online.
I cannot escape the conclusion that - the reappearance of those dreadful boundary issues again - you really have a problem with someone whose existence you believe should revolve around supporting you, actually expressing an independent - and autonomous opinion.
Yes.
Your posts make it quite clear that this side of your character exists.
But why indulge this side?
Oh, rubbish. Stuff and nonsense. Complete and utter tosh.
What planet are you living on?
You heard what you wanted to hear, and put a spin on it that accorded with what you wished to take from the relationship, and that is what you told yourself you wished to hear. And believe.
You know........one thing - even now, that is striking is how your happiness is the fulcrum around which everything revolves.
You have never once written about wishing to make her happy. Not once.
And this is not 'love' (even within the incredibly narrow constraints by which you bind, define and handcuff this word), but just wishing to put a smile on the face of someone you might - ever so slightly - care for, and putting some thought in advance as to how you might set about trying to achieve this result.
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Now: Ho, hum.
Really? You must 'put this out there'? And why, pray tell, must you 'put this out there' when you have never uttered as much as a single, solitary syllable in praise of your wife.
(Nothing on the lines of her evident kindness, courtesy, dignity, generosity of spirit, intelligence.....and, above all, nothing about what a wonderful mother she clearly is...)
I will tell you what I think:
It occurs to me that the only reason you have felt that you "are going to have to put this out there" (what an extraordinary sentence) is because many who have posted on the thread have shown sympathy, empathy, compassion and understanding for your wife, while clearly (and rightly) holding your somewhat retarded - er, traditional - and racist views quite correctly in complete contempt.
So, Master Stephen, in yet another gallant display of breathtaking generosity, decides to inform the thread that his wife holds similar views to him in the characteristically ungenerous hope that some of the scorn he has rightly been on the receiving end of, might just be directed her way.
I have long suspected that there is a 'self centred controlling' side (admitted by your good self) to your character; more recently, I had come to believe that the controlling side of your character which encourages dependency and resents displays of independence, is also parsimonious.
That is: Parsimonious with money, time, praise, support. But until now, I had not witnessed was I suspect may be a display of pure jealousy. Nothing else can explain quite the construction of the sentences in that paragraph but that you wish to reduce the stature of your wife in the eyes of those reading the thread.
Wow. That takes the biscuit.
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Not sure why you felt the need to post this? To somehow discredit her? Pull her under the bus with you? "You think I'm bad...but...but...she is too!!!!"
Don't you think your wife has suffered enough in your relationship?
Thank you. Bravo, and well said.
You have expressed more succinctly what I tried to say in my post.
I did not insist to my wife that she amend any of her posts. I merely expressed to her that the way she phrased what she did would give the wrong idea. I would have clarified it myself in this discussion regardless of what action she took after that.
I never meant to direct any negativity towards her. I intended to remove from the discussion my "racism," because that is something that my wife and I share, and is irrelevant.
I never meant to direct any negativity towards her. I intended to remove from the discussion my "racism," because that is something that my wife and I share, and is irrelevant.
The wrong idea according to you, not the wrong idea as expressed by her.
And again, I think that this has validity.
Your - that is you, @StephenCampbell - posts in your own thread showed incomprehension, boundary issues, and an inability to see the validity of another person's point of view, or even that the person even had the right to hold a point of view which different from your wishes or sated preferences or which inconvenienced you.
But to post - in her thread - posts which deliberately seek to, or set out to - hurt and humiliate - someone else, someone who was once close to you, with whom you had a child, well, I have to say, that this really takes the biscuit.
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But that's not what the post was set out to do. Everyone clearly had the impression that my "racism" would be among the reasons why she should not like me or not want to be with me, so all I sought to do was clarify that we are of one mind on those issues and that it therefore should not be a point that keeps being brought up in the manner that it was.
No, your racism was pointed out to prove once more that you don't have empathy, not that it was the source of any political argument between you two.
I am pretty conservative myself, and I am often called a bigot etc, but you are too extreme even for me...
No, actually, it was brought up to demonstrate your pathological thinking. Whether she agrees with you or not, your reasoning in matters of "race" is very much related to how you chose to treat your ex-wife.
Spot on.
And, @StephenCampbell - do you not think it is very telling of what matters to you in your portrayal of your soon-to-be-ex-wife, that you have now posted three times - three posts - to impress upon us, and inform us most earnestly, that your estranged wife shares your views on these (race related) matters?
Equally telling is the fact that not once, not once, have you offered a fond glimpse of, or proud comment about, the lady you married and mother of your child as a doting and devoted mother.
Candidly, I am not sure that you have it in you to pay someone a genuine compliment.
This is what I suggested long ago, but you refuted. That perhaps you're not in love with your wife, rather the narcissitic benefits of being in a relationship (a sense of appreciation, admiration... Perhaps as far as to someone to "control", someone to carry out your activities of daily living).
I agree as others have said if your wife does indeed have such racist thoughts she should also be exploring where these thoughts and ideas are rooted. I know you consider yourself a "race realist", which is essentially a justification of racism- often relying on pseudoscience. And I'm not sure your wife would feel comfortable you advertising such ideas to the public- nor do I really see the relevance here.
I'm impressed you're willing to go to therapy considering the "race realists" believe psychology/psychiatry was invented by the Jews to control the minds of Gentiles. Though you as someone who claims to be largely of Jewish heritage I imagine you must know such conspiracies are nonsense.
I'm not going to entertain a discussion in this thread about such things, that's why PRSI, better yet Stormfront exist.
Not only are my wife and I both race realists, but we would adamantly deny any connection between the recognition of scientific facts about human racial differences, and any sort of pathologies. You can't call it pseudoscience unless you can disprove it. The simplest thing would be to just leave our social, political, biological views out of the equation, which is all I was trying to accomplish.
Your deeply disturbed, sick, vile, and utterly deranged views have been thoroughly discredited and refuted by science. But of course you think you're right. Nothing I say will convince you otherwise. Go be alone with your hate. Have a nice life.
This thread is not yours and it's not about your social views. It's not even in the correct forum.
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