However, Apple could solve this by using 3D touch, allowing both camps to have exactly what they want. That they haven't done this boggles the mind.
Agreed. There were many reasonably elegant alternatives proposed here when this change first appeared that would satisfy both camps. Apple really didn't think this through, phoned it in if you like (sorry), and then piled on the pain by adding a popup to explain what was happening -- something that in the old days they deemed indicative of a UI that needed to be rethought. I see the utility of the new functionality, but I'm a user of the old functionality. I don't spend money on a new phone every year like many readers, and Bluetooth and WiFi (particularly where many weak non-public networks overlap) definitely put a strain on my battery and my patience. When I turn them off, I want them off.