All -
It's been a wild ride. I have been on this thread since it was just 16 pages long.
I lucked out today, and was able to reserve an iPhone 7 Plus 256GB in Matte Black at my local apple store. I'm going to pick it up today at 6:30 after work. On a whim, I refreshed the reserve and pick up page and it was available, after not being available this morning.
I will no longer continue to lurk this thread. I'm off to go lurk on the developer side of the forum now, I have Python, C, and C++ under my belt on the programming side of things, and now I'm off to learn Xcode/Swift/ObjC.
I wish you all the best, and hope you all get your iPhones soon!