Is this illegal?

[63dot]

Drop it. The employer likely won't hear you out and you sound like the very person you're describing. Just move on with your life and let his employer or future employer figure this all out. True colors will eventually shine through. The time to do this is when he's trying for a job where his background check extends to character witnesses and friends and family are interviewed.

Perhaps consider being the bigger person here, not a piece of scum who is acting like a woman scorned. Ruining his life because he doesn't want you enough, love you enough, respect you enough, etc. is stupid.

I couldn't have said it better myself. Bravo. Also Google "criminal libel" for definitions on libel and slander, civil vs. criminal charges, and basically a non-public figure's right of privacy over another person's right of freedom of speech over these issues.

 

[63dot]

Background:

Two years ago, I found myself romantically attracted to this boy, presumably under the influence of some narcotic now forgotten. I--with the MOST endearing naivety--divulged this to a friend, thinking that she wouldn’t tell anyone. Friends don’t hurt friends, after all. Reasonable, right?

Wrong.

Not only did she tell “someone,” she told him directly (with the obligatory embellishments of any good schoolyard rumor).

He then proceeded to harass me for the rest of the year, every day—in the hallways, in the classroom, on field trips, etc. Let me tell you, its lots of fun to walk down the hallway, only to hear someone scream “stalker!” while everyone else in the hallways backs away from you in fear. Honestly, it really turns me on. Just the other day, I was asked by a friend as to whether I have any weird fetishes. I replied, “You know what, nothing gets me hard like having everyone in the grade think I’m a stalker and fearful of standing within [literally] five feet of me.” True story. Let’s not even BEGIN to discuss the hilarity of the other boys in the grade effectively prohibiting me from using the boy’s bathrooms for fear that I would rape them.

…since we have agreed to not discuss it, I suppose it would be most expedient to continue with this prologue and put an end to that overly long vignette (including vignettes in message board posts probably isn’t good netiquette anyway).

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Over the summer, despite not having seen him for weeks, I made random connections to him several times per day. I could not get over my anger; no one can hold grudges like I can. I have still hated him all this school year and am tired of wasting emotions on someone that really is not important to my future. I’m worried, if I don’t get over this soon, I just waste my whole life carrying this grudge with me from phase to phase of life.

So, I’m hoping that by doing one really mean thing, I can be over it forever. However, even if he does not get this job, he will probably just get another one shortly, which I can see frustrating me to the point of doing something even more malicious. So, I thought of something better before, but discarded it as a possible course of action on the basis that it was too cruel; I am now reconsidering it. I am thinking of contacting some of the colleges that I know he wants to go to and inform them of his behavior and personality (perhaps with other’s testimonials included), which will elate me every time I hear him talk about how hard he studied, how late he stayed up, how stressed he is, knowing that all of his work is for naught.

Deliciously evil, I know.

I think that if I do that, I will be quite content because even if he does not get into a college on an academic (and more probable) basis, I can placate by myself by thinking I caused him to not be admitted.

Thoughts?

Just to note, I am fully aware that any college I contact will basically consider me a quack, but it will make me feel better to have contacted them.

You know, with this information, as you are talking about grudges from phase to phase in life, it kind of reminds me of the movie, "Ghosts of Girlfriends Past".

If he continues his behavior, it will catch up with him, and then it will take a group of ghosts to shake him up a bit.

 

[CHAOS STEP]

Your grievances with the chap should have been dealt with in the past, guess you regret not giving him a slap before.

Get on with your life, don't live in the past.

 

[QCassidy352]

It's not criminal illegal but you could possibly be sued for defamation of character if he found himself unemployable and could prove that it was because of the things you said.

Not in the US - truth is an absolute defense under the First Amendment in the US. You Britons are all backwards on that one.

I couldn't have said it better myself. Bravo. Also Google "criminal libel" for definitions on libel and slander, civil vs. criminal charges, and basically a non-public figure's right of privacy over another person's right of freedom of speech over these issues.

Wrong wrong wrong. You CANNOT be liable for libel or slander if what you are saying is true. Truth is an absolute defense to defamation, and it makes no difference whether it is a public or private figure. If the allegations are false then it matters whether the person is a public figure (level of requisite intent changes). If the allegations are true then it not only is not criminally illegal (wouldn't be in any case), but there is no right of action against the person who said it, PERIOD.

If what you say is false then we're playing a whole different ballgame.

 

[Sun Baked]

Never good to call up an employer, with intent to harm someone's reputation there ... especially trying to get them fired.

Easy to run into a slander lawsuit.

Might not matter whether what you say it true or not, unless you are dirt poor and are too pathetic to sue ...

Not fun to call up an employer and unload, then lose everything you own to your civil defense attorney.

Really hard to prove you didn't slander someone if you cannot afford the legal defense fees, or end up in jail because you taped the call in a state that requires 2 party notification.

---

If you can call up and "point" them to a newspaper article, their personal facebook page, etc. to let someone else take the heat for the information, you are likely ok.

 

[yojitani]

Unless the public good is at stake, let it go. The employer will work it out and perhaps he will too if he keeps losing his job.

 

[Ttownbeast]

Illegal? yes. Enjoy your restraining order little girl--and remember you cannot get within 100 feet of him once the judge bangs that gavel. Remember you are here asking if it is legal to call somebody else's potential employer to possibly harass that person. it's now on record so you better hope your ex isn't a fan of Mac rumors.

 

[jemeinc]

I wouldn't take a word you said serious.. I might inquire about YOU just to try to find out how much MORE trouble I should expect you to stir up in the future.. But your comments would have no effect on whether I hired him or not, just how close of an eye we kept on you..

As others have said, move on.. If he's really as bad as you say be glad he's not your problem anymore.. This just makes you look very bad..

 

[fernandovalente]

It's not illegal, but if I were the employeer, I would not listen to you. If I were the boy, I would sue you.

 

[Sun Baked]

It's not illegal, but if I were the employeer, I would not listen to you. If I were the boy, I would sue you.

Typically if they get really annoyed with stalkers, they tend to get really drunk and beat you into a long hospital stay.

Really not much you can do at that point, since anyone that keeps calling employers, cyberstalking people, and physically following people can and likely would be considered dangerous psychopath. And if you play sports with sticks, or like knives or guns ... they may say "I though I saw a ..."

 

[63dot]

Not in the US - truth is an absolute defense under the First Amendment in the US. You Britons are all backwards on that one.



Wrong wrong wrong. You CANNOT be liable for libel or slander if what you are saying is true. Truth is an absolute defense to defamation, and it makes no difference whether it is a public or private figure. If the allegations are false then it matters whether the person is a public figure (level of requisite intent changes). If the allegations are true then it not only is not criminally illegal (wouldn't be in any case), but there is no right of action against the person who said it, PERIOD.

If what you say is false then we're playing a whole different ballgame.

LMAO

what are you smoking

This explanation sounds worse than an 8th grade civics class, or a hard core Libertarian who has never read the Constitution. I agree with your choice of baseball teams, but your explanation is beyond belief.

 

[jav6454]

I'm going to ignore the while thread and respond directly to the OP:

Don't do it. It is not your problem and you will look like a total dirtbag/douchebag (no offense) on the eyes of a complete stranger; even if it is for a 'greater' good. Save your face and dignity and let him drown in his own sh*t.

Also, Karma... somehow whatever negative thing you do, will eventually come back to hit you.

 

[Carmelita]

Sorry that I didn't bother to read your whole background post cuz it's too long and stupid. Honestly it doesn't really matter what kinda **** he did to you before or what a complete ****** he was. If I were you, I would just drop the whole thing and move on. Obviously he's not the kinda guy that you should spend time and effort on. So why waste your time on such an insignificant matter? If you made the phone call, and the employer asked why did you bother doing such a thing since you're not his previous employer, how would you explain? Make up excuses or just simply say that he dumped you? Obviously that's because you have a personal reason which is extremely biased and irrelevant. And since your point of view is so skewed, I don't think the employer would be stupid enough to believe your words. So in conclusion, move on with your life. Stop acting so immature. If you did it, you would look more like the ****** than that guy.