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Love, Abnormal Relationships, and Age Difference

G

galganog

macrumors member
Original poster
May 1, 2006
50
12
How young is too young when it comes to love and age gaps? If we turn to a well known celebrity couple which seems to be semi rare in its case. Ashton Kutch and Demi Moore.

This is a massive age gap. Aka when she was 30 he was 15.

I don't know about you but to me these sort of relationships don't bother me, When i was younger i sometimes found myself dating 30 year olds. And at the age I am at now i sometimes find myself dating 18 year olds.

Historically speaking it was not uncommon for 12-13 year olds to get married to older men. Not saying that was right there is more psychological development that takes place more or less up until the age of 16-17 but what has caused this change?

Do you think that a 16 year old and a 30 year old can love each other on equal terms, and have a successful relationship sort of like a wierd sort of student teacher protector type thing?

The question is though should there be a restriction on the age that a person can love someone?

And what are we really trying to protect them from when it comes to age difference in the first place?
 
I subscribe to the half + seven rule. In my experience, that is just about the right cutoff in general. I'm 27 now, so that would mean I could date someone as young as 21, rounding up. That is just about stretching it as far as I'd like to go.
 
I personally think that it is situational. When I see a 30+ year old man dating a teenager, I am forced to wonder what he sees in her other than young beauty. Normally I would think that the older man is taking advantage of the young girl and using her. I would not expect any type of life companionship coming out of that sort of relationship. But, there have been successful relationships of this type before and I am sure there will be more. I would just advise the girl to make sure she knows what she is doing which wouldn't actually do any good if she is in love.

If she was my own daughter, I would not allow her to date a 30 year old while she still lived with me.
 
I think that age really shouldn't be a problem for anybody over 25. If a 27 year old wants to date a 45 year old it seems perfectly ok in my book. Cradle robbing is an entirely different issue though.
 
tobefirst said:
I subscribe to the half + seven rule. In my experience, that is just about the right cutoff in general. I'm 27 now, so that would mean I could date someone as young as 21, rounding up. That is just about stretching it as far as I'd like to go.
Click to expand...

I'm also a fan of this rule.
 
Your algorithm needs to take into account the cup size as well... :D

I guess that my weirdness limit is at an age difference of around 30%.
ex: 20-30, 40-60...
 
Juan Moro said:
Your algorithm needs to take into account the cup size as well... :D
Click to expand...

I just don't think this is something that can be reduced to an algorithm. It totally depends on the two people. For me, if a woman isn't older than I am, I just can't summon up much interest. Why? Who knows? My GF now is 8 years older than I am (I'm 41), and I probably wouldn't want to be with anyone much older than that.

When I see friends dating 20somethings I just shake my head.
 
Maybe i'm a bit more open minded, but I don't think age difference matters too much within reason anyway.

Some younger girls are too immature when aged 16-18 or even older but some are mature enough to understand that it is a relationship and not just a laugh.

I dated someone at 16 when I was 24 so 8 years difference, didn't last that long (5-6 months) due to various reasons but we were both happy at the time and her parents were ok with the age difference.

Guess it depends on the individuals concerned really. I'm 30 now and realistically probably wouldn't consider anyone under 22/23 any younger and I think people would think you had other intentions. Also I'd rather date someone more independent who perhaps had their own place/job/car etc and not still be at their parents etc.
 
smokeyrabbit said:
Our nanny's mom is younger than me, but her dad is older than my dad. She is just out of high school, but her mom had already had her at her age, and even she thinks it was creepy.
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She may think its creepy but what if they are really in love and have had a great relationship. How can you say what is abnormal or normal from that.

If you hear about it sure it might sound weird. But is it wrong?
 
nokiauk said:
I dated someone at 16 when I was 24 so 8 years difference, didn't last that long (5-6 months) due to various reasons but we were both happy at the time and her parents were ok with the age difference.
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chrishansen.jpg
 
ravenvii said:
chrishansen.jpg
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Actually most of his series are chicks pretending to be 13 years old and in all seriousness that is just wrong. The lowest i would date someone is 16 and they would have to have an amazing personality because i can't stand stupid girls.
 
smokeyrabbit said:
Our nanny's mom is younger than me, but her dad is older than my dad. She is just out of high school, but her mom had already had her at her age
Click to expand...

This sounds like the start of one of those puzzles that ends with something like "so how old is james ..."
 
InkMaster said:
What? Doesn't everyone follow the-younger-the-better rule? ;)

58106147ca3.jpg


I kid I kid
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Well now that Pedo bear is out there is calls for this joke.

I like my women how i like my whiskey, aged 10 years and mixed up with coke.
 
calculus said:
This sounds like the start of one of those puzzles that ends with something like "so how old is james ..."
Click to expand...

I thought the same thing – and I could never work out those puzzles. :D

smokeyrabbit said:
I guess I should have said her dad is 69 and her mom is 35. They're not still together.
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Doesn't mean that had anything to do with the age gap though – there's plenty of relationships that don't work for other reasons, people just tend to focus on that if there is a big age gap.

I went out for a few years with a guy 9 years older than me when I was 19 – I finished it because I got sick of feeling like the older one in the relationship. :p Just because someone's a certain age, doesn't mean they act like it (and that could go either way). It's far more sensible to see if you click with someone and if you're on the same wavelength. As it happens, quite often people of similar ages are on the same wavelength, but you never know. And there's not much point in setting rules, as mpw says (although following local law is probably a good idea :eek:).
 
Lau said:
I thought the same thing – and I could never work out those puzzles. :D
Click to expand...

You're driving a bus.
At the first stop, 7 people get on.
At the second stop, 4 people get on.
At the third stop, 5 people get on, and 9 get off.
At the fourth, 6 people get off.
At the fifth, a lady with two children gets on.
At the sixth, 2 people get off, and 17 get on.
What's the drivers name?
 
Lau said:
Doesn't mean that had anything to do with the age gap though – there's plenty of relationships that don't work for other reasons, people just tend to focus on that if there is a big age gap.
Click to expand...

I know. My point was simply that the adult child of a couple with a 35-year age difference is having issues with that large age difference. Not only is there the creepy factor, but most high schoolers aren't dealing with elderly parent health issues yet.

My sister's husband is 11 years older than her and none of us think it's weird, but they started dating when she was 24 or so, not when they were 20 and 9. At the age of 88 my grandfather married someone 15 years younger than himself after my grandmother passed away, but no one thought that was weird either. They've been happily married for 5 years now, and he's the one in better health.
 
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