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Love, Abnormal Relationships, and Age Difference

I had a professor in college who met his wife when he was 34 and she was 17 (she was one of his students). He is in his 70's now and they are still happily married and very much in love. I don't think age difference should matter if two people care about each other. As Lau said, age and maturity do not always go hand in hand. I do feel, though, that legal age limits should be adhered to, meaning that someone should not date someone else who is under 18 if the older person is more than 4 years older. Sure there are those rare 16 year olds who are mature beyond their years, but for the most part they are just not psychologically in the same place as someone who is much older. They could more easily be taken advantage of, and younger hearts are more fragile. Typically if someone is looking for a real relationship beyond just sex they will look for someone who is more or less at the same maturity level as themselves. So for the sake of staying out of jail, stay away from those 'mature' 16 year olds...

imac/cheese said:
If she was my own daughter, I would not allow her to date a 30 year old while she still lived with me.
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Yes, I agree. I would feel the same way.
 
IJ Reilly said:
Provided both of the individuals are adults, to whom should an age difference be an issue?
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My sentiments exactly. I've met some women my age who are far from adults, and I've met 21 year olds more mature than I.

It's all based on each individual case. My dad's wife is some 18 years younger than he is.
 
My husband is 13 years older than me. I was 27 when we started seeing each other. The age difference doesn't matter at all.
 
Stampyhead said:
I had a professor in college who met his wife when he was 34 and she was 17 (she was one of his students). He is in his 70's now and they are still happily married and very much in love. I don't think age difference should matter if two people care about each other. As Lau said, age and maturity do not always go hand in hand. I do feel, though, that legal age limits should be adhered to, meaning that someone should not date someone else who is under 18 if the older person is more than 4 years older. Sure there are those rare 16 year olds who are mature beyond their years, but for the most part they are just not psychologically in the same place as someone who is much older. They could more easily be taken advantage of, and younger hearts are more fragile. Typically if someone is looking for a real relationship beyond just sex they will look for someone who is more or less at the same maturity level as themselves. So for the sake of staying out of jail, stay away from those 'mature' 16 year olds...
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Same here at my alma mater. Though they didn't get married. He was in his 70's, she was in her 20's.

He died of cancer a couple of months after they got engaged.
 
The half age plus 7 is an interesting rule. Let's run some numbers:

30 --> 22 (8 years difference)
40 --> 27 (13 years difference)
50 --> 32 (18 years difference)
60 --> 37 (23 years difference)
70 --> 42 (28 years difference)

Maybe that's a good guideline.

I think age is not near as important as compatibility, regardless of which person is older. Life experiences change people into whom they are.

Someone once told me:
- Women expect to change their man, and they can't.
- Men expect their woman not to change, and they do.

And both end up disappointed! I think there is some truth to this.

Good relationships allow both to grow and develop as individuals and together. Respect for each other is also very important. Age is not that important.
 
I came to this thread to look for information on abnormal relationships ...

Where is it?
 
tiredhorses said:
You're driving a bus.
At the first stop, 7 people get on.
At the second stop, 4 people get on.
At the third stop, 5 people get on, and 9 get off.
At the fourth, 6 people get off.
At the fifth, a lady with two children gets on.
At the sixth, 2 people get off, and 17 get on.
What's the drivers name?
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Six stops. The bus was silver and blue. The bus driver's name was John. Tuesday. 42. What do I win? :p
 
jaydub said:
My sentiments exactly. I've met some women my age who are far from adults, and I've met 21 year olds more mature than I.

It's all based on each individual case. My dad's wife is some 18 years younger than he is.
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My point is that it's not really anybody's business but their own. The thread title makes is sound like maybe disapproval might be in order, as if farm animals could be involved.
 
I find as a general rule the older one gets the more acceptable the age gap gets. Now an 18 year old dating a 30 years old to me is a little wrong but it is very rare they are on the same level maturity wise and in life. Reason I believe that is it is important for the 2 people to be at similar places in there lives or it will not last. As we get older our points in our lives change slower. Lets fast it some one who is 16 and some one who is 22 are at to completely different points in there lives. But some one who is 22 compared to some one at 28 are in fact at a fairly close to the same points in ones lives.
 
I'm 19 and I'm in an open polyamerous relationship with four women aged 27, 33, 38 and 41.

We all love each other, we don't all have sex with each other (only one has a physical relationship with the other four) some of us regularly sleep with people outside of the family who have no intention of joining and it's all rather complicated, we all see each other as equals roughly bar the 41 year old who seems to assume that they're in charge most of the time, strangely enough i can boss her or anyone else around if I so choose to, I just only do when it's absolutely required.

We are all happy, the relationship is 10 years old, I've been a part of it about 6 months now.

If anyone has a weirder relationship please let me know.

Any questions?
 
Mord said:
I'm 19 and I'm in an open polyamerous relationship with four women aged 27, 33, 38 and 41.

...

We are all happy, the relationship is 10 years old, I've been a part of it about 6 months now.

If anyone has a weirder relationship please let me know
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you win!
 
Rodimus Prime said:
I find as a general rule the older one gets the more acceptable the age gap gets. Now an 18 year old dating a 30 years old to me is a little wrong but it is very rare they are on the same level maturity wise and in life. Reason I believe that is it is important for the 2 people to be at similar places in there lives or it will not last. As we get older our points in our lives change slower. Lets fast it some one who is 16 and some one who is 22 are at to completely different points in there lives. But some one who is 22 compared to some one at 28 are in fact at a fairly close to the same points in ones lives.
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If only people knew what "point" they were at in their lives. We can only know what point we're at now if we know what's coming next, and good luck with that.
 
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