Love, Abnormal Relationships, and Age Difference

[Tomorrow]

When I was 19 I started dating a 36-year-old woman. For the longest time we steadfastly maintained that our age difference wasn't an issue.

By the time I was 25 and she was 42, we finally started seeing that it was an issue, although we didn't call it that - we were simply at different places in our lives and we each saw different futures for ourselves. We also finally realized that we didn't treat each other like most couples did - we would go on separate vacations and such, talked to each other more like we were either roommates or blood relatives rather than people who were romantically involved - even though we lived together for more than 5 years. So after 6+ years together we split up, quite amicably, although after about a year we lost touch.

 

[InkMaster]

...and under 16 is plain illegal...

 

[jecapaga]

When I was 19 I started dating a 36-year-old woman. For the longest time we steadfastly maintained that our age difference wasn't an issue.

By the time I was 25 and she was 42, we finally started seeing that it was an issue, although we didn't call it that - we were simply at different places in our lives and we each saw different futures for ourselves. We also finally realized that we didn't treat each other like most couples did - we would go on separate vacations and such, talked to each other more like we were either roommates or blood relatives rather than people who were romantically involved - even though we lived together for more than 5 years. So after 6+ years together we split up, quite amicably, although after about a year we lost touch.

this is similar to an experience I witnessed. A 15 year old boy with a 28yr old married woman. She divorced, he dropped out of school and moved in with her. They married and had a child who is now a senior in high school. As he grew up, he grew apart and eventually realized he wanted to do the things he never did. They're divorced now and he's living with a woman closer to his age.

 

[IJ Reilly]

this is similar to an experience I witnessed. A 15 year old boy with a 28yr old married woman. She divorced, he dropped out of school and moved in with her. They married and had a child who is now a senior in high school. As he grew up, he grew apart and eventually realized he wanted to do the things he never did. They're divorced now and he's living with a woman closer to his age.

Close to 50% of all marriages end in divorce. To what do you attribute this?

 

[jecapaga]

Not sure what to attribute it to. I'd like to think the older you are when getting married increases your chances for success because both parties have grown into who they are in life. Not sure if the data shows this though.

 

[IJ Reilly]

Whatever the data shows is of little consequence, but pretending to know why other people's relationships fail pins my BS meter.

 

[notjustjay]

Standard Creepiness Rule: age/2 + 7

 

[jecapaga]

Whatever the data shows is of little consequence, but pretending to know why other people's relationships fail pins my BS meter.

I'm only commenting on the relationship i witnessed and had 1st person discussions with them as he was my best friend and i was quite close with her. I had the details from them as to why they themselves thought their relationship failed. It was fairly obvious to those around them.

 

[IJ Reilly]

I'm only commenting on the relationship i witnessed and had 1st person discussions with them as he was my best friend and i was quite close with her. I had the details from them as to why they themselves thought their relationship failed. It was fairly obvious to those around them.

Because they grew apart? Sounds like the generic reason why relationships fail. And it's always obvious to everybody else, isn't it?

 

[atszyman]

You're driving a bus.
At the first stop, 7 people get on. 7
At the second stop, 4 people get on. 7+4=11
At the third stop, 5 people get on, and 9 get off. 11+5-9=7
At the fourth, 6 people get off. 7-6=1
At the fifth, a lady with two children gets on. 1+3=4
At the sixth, 2 people get off, and 17 get on. 4-2 WTF? The lady with two kids either abandoned her kids by leaving the bus or kicking them off, or she left one of the kids with the person who was on the bus when she got on.

Six stops. The bus was silver and blue. The bus driver's name was John. Tuesday. 42. What do I win?

I'm more concerned about the lady and her kids. I guess it's conceivable that they were meeting up with the person from the previous stop, but it just seems weird to do kid exchanges on the bus.

 

[GoCubsGo]

If I believed in either (relationships or love) I would say that after about 28 age doesn't matter but I'd say the cap on the gap is about 20 years in my book.

 

[skottichan]

I'm a 34 year old woman, my girlfriend will be 24 in April, we're in a polyamorous D/s relationship. We're very happy with who and what we are, the age difference is nonexistent since we share many of the same likes and dislikes. I personally think people should be able to love whom they want, as long as no one is hurt (in a bad way) or taken advantage of.

 

[doubleohseven]

The return of PedoBear!

 

[Mord]

I'm 20 and my girlfriend is 28, we don't look massively distant in age nor act particularly differently, the primary difference between us is I dye out my greys and she doesn't!

Doesn't bother us and it hasn't come up as an issue ever before.