(The screen is white, two men stand, full view, in front of the camera. One is middle aged, and wearing a suit. The other is wearing jeans, a "Think Different" T-Shirt, and an iPod. The suited guy is holding a joystick, and making reflexive movements)
Suited Guy (SG): "Woah... out of the way... bang, gotcha! Hahah! Oh no. Oh no! Dudududududu! Ha! Who's your paternal-figure? Hey? Hey? Who's your paternal figure?"
Hip Young Guy (HY): "Hey dude, whatcha doing?"
SG: "I'm playing a really awesome game. You play a secret agent, and you have to shoot the henchmen, and... hold on... woah! Ok, you want a turn?"
HY: "Oh, come on! Surely you could be doing something productive, like, erm, burning DVDs? I can burn DVDs. Yeah! Make your own movies, it's cool"
SG: "Yeah, I did that once. Hold on... woah! Gotcha! Haha! Gotcha, what's behind the wall? Oh... hey, it's multiplayer if you want to join in."
HY: "Oh, games. Aren't those what games consoles are for?"
SG: "Depends on the game. This is an mod someone did for Doom 5, so you'd never see it on a console. You just don't get that kind of innovation on closed platforms like consoles. Hold on, I got it! I got the papers! Now, how do I get out? Er..."
HY: "You know, you ought to be sorting through the pictures on your digital camera which I can do really easily with iPh..."
SG: "Yeah, that'd be a real fun time. Real. Fun. Time. Yeah. Sure you don't want a game? Hold on... blam! Gotcha! Where the hell did he come from anyway? Ok, through this wall..."
HY: "Oh no, games are such a waste of time. I'd rather do something productive like, erm, manage my iTunes collection. That's something I'm good at..."
SG: "Me too, you do know I run iTunes right? Aw come on, let your hair down a little. I thought I was supposed to be the stiff."
HY: "No."
SG: "Wait... I think there's a hidden passage here... read it in a forum somewhere... oh yeah, next to the pot plant, got it, extra health, excellent. Anyway, why not? Why don't you want a go?"
HY: "I don't want to talk about it."
SG: "What?"
HY: "I said I just don't want to talk about it, ok? Ok?"
SG puts the joystick down for a moment: "You can't play games. That's what it is, right?"
HY: "Right. Ok. So I can't play games. What's the big deal? Nobody plays games anyway."
SG: "Sure. Nobody does. Right. Yeah, just me. Just boring, suited, me. Not like I play more games than all the games consoles put together. Right."
SG falls on floor, rolling with laughter.
HY: "Ok. OKAY! Now let me turn this photo slideshow and jingle I put together in Garageband into a DVD. Not a waste of time like playing games is."
HY walks off in huff. SG picks up joystick and continues playing.
Fade to black:
"Apple Macintosh"
"The Computer That Can't Play Games"
"But That's Ok Because Nobody Plays Games Anyway"
* Disclaimer: this is a spoof. And it largely spoofs certain attitudes that have been put forward over the last few days in this thread. There are some good games for the Mac, that work best on those that don't have IIG. Many older games will work ok on those with GMA950s, but in some high profile instances not as well as games that run on three or more year old dedicated graphics cards.