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Doctor Q

Administrator
Original poster
Staff member
Sep 19, 2002
37,291
3,378
Los Angeles
If you read the Official Mac Rumors "What's Your Job" Thread you will see that we have an amazingly varied set of members and collective talent in a vast number of areas.

That got me to thinking... What if a billionaire venture capitalist decided to hire all 85,120 of us to start a new business? We'd have enough funding to tempt us away from school or our current jobs, and plenty of money to support us while we brainstorm for a few months, after which we'd have to have a viable business plan. We'd need to make money by the end of our first year in business.

As a group, what are our most useful skills? What should our business do? How should we be organized? Will we all fit in the same conference room? Do we need 85,120-way iChat AV? What should our company name and logo be (here's a sample)?

Will we succeed?
 

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~Shard~

macrumors P6
Jun 4, 2003
18,377
42
1123.6536.5321
What a cool concept, I like it! As you say Doctor Q, surely with our varied talents and skill sets we'd make a formidable company.

Personally, I am an Electronics Systems Engineer with a CS minor so I could code microprocessors or write programs if need be. :D ;) I am currently a Technology Project Manager and PMP as well, so I can make sure our projects are run efficiently, on time and under budget, and I can also run the Economics on any projects, author and subsequently evaluate any Business Cases, and negotiate as need be. I have my CCNA as well, so if you need any networks built from scratch and configured, I'd be your man!

I am also big into investing, so I would be happy to manage the corporate funds and make us even more money with our money. Stocks, forex, you name it... Hmm, perhaps we should just start a hedge fund, I'd be all over that...

Being that I do acting and modeling on the side as well, I could be featured in any advertisements for our company... :eek:

Oh, and since I'm a word traveller, I could easily work with our international arm as well.

Just make me the Senior Vice President in Charge of something and I'll be happy. :cool:
 

yellow

Moderator emeritus
Oct 21, 2003
16,033
1
Portland, OR
Slow day in the office, no? :)

Cool concept though. Not sure how much I could contribute to it, where would a fluffer fit in? :confused:
 

jadekitty24

macrumors 65816
Oct 19, 2005
1,369
0
The poor section of Connecticut
Hmm...considering I'm nothing more than a lowly shop-rat, I don't know where I would fit in. I'm a workhorse when it comes to manual labor, but brain-dead when it comes to anything else. I love the idea, though. :)
 

Kwyjibo

macrumors 68040
Nov 5, 2002
3,809
0
jadekitty24 said:
Hmm...considering I'm nothing more than a lowly shop-rat, I don't know where I would fit in. I'm a workhorse when it comes to manual labor, but brain-dead when it comes to anything else. I love the idea, though. :)
somebody has to do the hard work




i'm personally going on the theory that Q is a billionaire and WILL find the right project
 

Chundles

macrumors G4
Jul 4, 2005
11,961
364
I can see some problems arising in whatever product we go with...

- A vocal majority will not buy it and instead "wait for rev. b"

- iGary won't get up early to receive delivery and when he does finally get the product it'll be broken and he'll have to take it back.

- macgeek2005 will say that he can make it even better by drawing on all his worldly experience.

- Multimedia will want To Capitalise Every Word In The Slogan

- Abstract will try to eat it but upon discovering he can't he'll dress it up like a camel wearing pajamas.

- mad jew will post a thousand helpful ideas in 20 minutes on the "Feedback" forum, 90% of the posts will have some kind of sneaky InvisiText™ quip. I said 90%, obviously this is one of the 10% that don't.

- Vniow will want a thousand different colours.

- Blue Velvet will try desperately to hide the New Zealand influences in her styling decisions by covering it in a healthy dose of English slang.

- I'll whinge about it not being available Down Under, and turn up drunk to the product meetings before falling asleep under the boardroom table.
 

yellow

Moderator emeritus
Oct 21, 2003
16,033
1
Portland, OR
I already figured you to be the CHM.

Well, whatever we do, it involves Macs... and possible a memron G5 powerbook.

I think the company should involve satellite offices, in order to spread our influence far and wide.
 

russed

macrumors 68000
Jan 16, 2004
1,613
0
well i'm training towards my ACA at the moment (just in the middle of my accounting and auditing modules) so i could do the books and then audit them - not very ethical i know, but i bet they would pass :D

and then when the company fails, as my proper job is a recovery administrator, i could put it into administration and sell off all the lovely shiny mac's at cut price!
 

Doctor Q

Administrator
Original poster
Staff member
Sep 19, 2002
37,291
3,378
Los Angeles
What's common to us is an interest in Macintoshes and other Apple products, so perhaps we should become an Apple software and hardware accessory business.

We certainly have plenty of opinions about what Apple should sell but doesn't, and about what Apple should have done differently. Here's our chance to put the billionaire's money where our mouth is.

Slogan: "If Apple doesn't sell it, we do!"

Unfortunately, I'm good at writing software documentation, so I hope I don't get stuck working only in that department.
 

Allotriophagy

macrumors 6502a
Sep 5, 2006
917
0
First product - a patch which changes the About This Mac box to read "Core 2 Duo" on Apple notebook machines.
 

yellow

Moderator emeritus
Oct 21, 2003
16,033
1
Portland, OR
Doctor Q said:
Unfortunately, I'm good at writing software documentation, so I hope I don't get stuck working only in that department.
Ah-ha! Now I know who to blame for man pages!! :mad: :D


Well a surefire way to get out billionaire's money back is to sell iPod accessories.

So.... why does Bill Gates want to invest in us anyway? :)
 

Chundles

macrumors G4
Jul 4, 2005
11,961
364
More problems:

- arn will try to run everything even though he knows that yellow really controls the business.

- Doctor Q will quietly question the quibbles in quotations whilst quaffing a drink near the quay as the queasy newbies quake in the quagmire of their quandaries, qualms and queries for fear of being quashed by the quick-witted Dr. Q as he queues for another quesadilla to quench his quavering stomach's quantifiable hunger.

- generik will never use a competing product but he'll let all of us know just how glaring the short-comings of out product compare with the competition.
 

treblah

macrumors 65816
Oct 28, 2003
1,285
0
29680
Chundles said:
- generik will never use a competing product but he'll let all of us know just how glaring the short-comings of out product compare with the competition.
:D

Pencil me in as a salesman. I can cold-call like no tomorrow.
 

yellow

Moderator emeritus
Oct 21, 2003
16,033
1
Portland, OR
Chundles said:
- Doctor Q will quietly question the quibbles in quotations whilst quaffing a drink near the quay as the queasy newbies quake in the quagmire of their quandaries, qualms and queries for fear of being quashed by the quick-witted Dr. Q as he queues for another quesadilla to quench his quavering stomach's quantifiable hunger.
Just when I thought I couldn't appreciate your post more...

Chundles said:
- generik will never use a competing product but he'll let all of us know just how glaring the short-comings of out product compare with the competition.
You hit me with this one. I think I <3 you, Chundles!
 

mpw

Guest
Jun 18, 2004
6,364
1
While you all concentrate on the structure of the business can I make a product suggestion?

How about an alcoholic lube?

MR Lube™ (we could have Mr.Lube as a marketing character like KFC's colonel)

It'll come in various flavours to suit all tastes Chocolate liquer/Wine/Marmite/Cosmopolitan.

Oooo just had another idea for the marketing, an advert showing the MR Lube™ being applied to one member by another......obviously the person applying the MR Lube™ would need hands that look good on camera??
 

Jaffa Cake

macrumors Core
Aug 1, 2004
19,802
6
The City of Culture, Englandshire
mpw said:
MR Lube™ (we could have Mr.Lube as a marketing character like KFC's colonel)
Fantastic idea. I propose iGary don the Mr Lube™ outfit – his encyclopedic knowledge of Lube makes him the perfect candidate.

Flavours are all well and good, but would MR Lube™ come in a sugar-free variety?
 

mpw

Guest
Jun 18, 2004
6,364
1
Jaffa Cake said:
Fantastic idea. I propose iGary don the Mr Lube™ outfit – his encyclopedic knowledge of Lube makes him the perfect candidate.

Flavours are all well and good, but would MR Lube™ come in a sugar-free variety?
I was thinking either iGary or mad jew, but of course we could have one of the creative types on the forum create the graphic character for the branding and then have franchised Mr Lube™ in their own territories around the globe for personal appearances.

Also we'd need Mrs Lubes for the female market.......OK I'm putting in for a transfer over to HR for those interviews.